1. Hey there!

    All Login/Cache/Session Token issues should now be resolved. Please praise Glaive for fixing this.

    Welcome to Cwcki Club!

    Before posting, please check out the General Rules

    Join the Cwcki Club Discord!

Meta What If?

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by Hellblazer, Feb 25, 2016.

  1. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    6,912
    Likes Received:
    18,540
    Was that the Garfield pizza guy? Hilarious how half-assed he was.
     
    Judgesaturn507 and Ms. Mowz like this.
  2. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2022
    Messages:
    8,868
    Likes Received:
    16,268
    Yes! His name was Nathen Mazri I believe. He even has his own version of Sonichu called Natefield
     
    Judgesaturn507 and Ms. Mowz like this.
  3. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    6,912
    Likes Received:
    18,540
    What if Chris and Mitamoto collaborated on making a video game?
     
    Judgesaturn507 and Ms. Mowz like this.
  4. Ms. Mowz

    Ms. Mowz My likes mean absolutely nothing!

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2017
    Messages:
    11,411
    Likes Received:
    17,012
    Shigeru Miyamoto wanted to work on a Sonichu game, but cancelled it because Chris cared about his hoard too much to make a quick visit to Redmond, Washington, leaving Mr. Mayomato-San cold and hungry on an empty night.
    (Pretty baffling that Chris actually fell for this, if you didn't knew about his odd behavior and delusions beforehand.)
     
    Skeletor and Judgesaturn507 like this.
  5. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    20,286
    Likes Received:
    37,726
    didn't Chris want Miyamoto-san to come to him?

    edit-
    yeah, he wanted Nintendo to send a rep to their house and then Chris demanded that Fils-Aime and Miyamoto-san come to his place
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2023
    Judgesaturn507 and Ms. Mowz like this.
  6. Henry Bemis

    Henry Bemis On an eight-hour tour of a graveyard

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2017
    Messages:
    277
    Likes Received:
    1,167
    That smoker and/or drinker? Blech.
     
    Ms. Mowz and Judgesaturn507 like this.
  7. Judgesaturn507

    Judgesaturn507 rambling without substance

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2022
    Messages:
    1,094
    Likes Received:
    3,556
    He called him 'Mr. Miyamoto-san' basically meaning 'Mr. Mr. Miyamoto'.
     
  8. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    20,286
    Likes Received:
    37,726
    I wonder what Chris's day to day life is like
    if he's just babbling all day about being the CPU goddess, or if he shoots hoops or goes for a walk every once in a while
    people who have met Chris said he's really boring, and unless you want to hear him drone on about ponies and Pokémon, it's pretty boring
    IDK what aspects of pop culture Chris is into these days, but it's probably stuff I don't care about
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2023
  9. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2017
    Messages:
    26,128
    Likes Received:
    53,505
    What if "Chris Chan" never existed and all the eyewitness accounts really were part of some big trolling scheme?

    (for such a scheme to work even MSM would have to be in on the scheme too - even back in the late 20th century)
     
  10. c-no

    c-no Dead Meme Internet Man

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,795
    Likes Received:
    4,545
    Just means the kid on TV that won the sweepstakes came back as an adult that managed to outdo Jan Rankowski before Jan Rankowski even did Parkourdude91. And the whole world fell for the idea that an autistic transwoman did elder abuse.

    What if Chris-Chan was isekai'd (basically sent from one world to another, usually by getting ran over. A genre in Japanese cartoons that's very cookie cutter in having little variation beyond overpowered protagonist and his harem having different hair colors) from our world to another like some generic JRPG fantasy world that ripped off DnD?
     
  11. Ms. Mowz

    Ms. Mowz My likes mean absolutely nothing!

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2017
    Messages:
    11,411
    Likes Received:
    17,012
    Would Chris create some more DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS when a slime draws near?
    DQVIII_-_Slime.png
     
    ToroidalBoat, Judgesaturn507 and c-no like this.
  12. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    20,286
    Likes Received:
    37,726
    I hope that world can't locate us and send an invasion fleet, because they would assume we're all naïve and crazy like Chris
     
  13. c-no

    c-no Dead Meme Internet Man

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,795
    Likes Received:
    4,545
    Chris created some DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS. The stench hurt the slime for critical damage.

    What if Chris managed to own all those dang dirty troll sites, from 4Chan and Encyclopedia Dramatica to Kiwi Farms and any of those damn dirty Reddit pages?
     
  14. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2017
    Messages:
    26,128
    Likes Received:
    53,505
    If that world is a typical isekai one, they'd be at an Iron Age level of tech (despite the usual low use of "magic"), according to SimEarth. It should take Nanotech Age tech to do manned interstellar travel (assuming such is possible), so one shouldn't have to worry about that. If a freak from this world were isekai'd they'd most likely be very much removed from this one.
     
    Last edited: May 4, 2023
  15. Harrison Gentleman

    Harrison Gentleman Old-School Gentleman

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2017
    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    584
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't some people very early on in the trolling days actually think that this was the case at first? Borat was still recent back in 2007 and you had the likes of Betty Butterworth and a few others doing similar shit on early YouTube way back then.

    Also, what if Chris was born in 2002 instead of 1982?
     
  16. Judgesaturn507

    Judgesaturn507 rambling without substance

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2022
    Messages:
    1,094
    Likes Received:
    3,556
    I considered asking that last question myself. The problem is I’m not sure how to answer it. Zoomer Chris could be totally different.

    A big part of why Chris is the way he is is growing up with 80’s and 90’s kids media when everything had to have this obvious moral message, and an era where consumer culture didn’t look like it was always about to collapse on itself.

    For one thing in the modern age of social media perhaps Chris’s eccentricities (and habit of revealing every detail of himself in an age when that Just Wasn’t Done) would stand out less. For every Chris there’s two dozen other NSFW furry artists on Twitter.

    The fact that very few lolcow candidates have emerged in current times to replace him (or at least they’re not defined by their media habits in the same way) might indicate a change of tide. Can there be a zoomer Chris? Could our current society produce such an individual?
     
  17. c-no

    c-no Dead Meme Internet Man

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2017
    Messages:
    1,795
    Likes Received:
    4,545
    With how different the generations are, it would be likely that there'd be individuals on other sites that have their share of fuck ups and the like. Not on the same level as Chris but they'd have their own flavor of drama and the like that'd reveal unsavory aspects to them and TMI no one else would really need to know. A zoomer Chris would likely hit differently from old Chris, especially since sites like ED are from a different age and would likely be more called out on other sites while there's a political angle that may or may not be there like right wingers trying to jump in to try and get leftist painted as "lolcows" or anyone thinking there's a pipeline going from laughing at a lolcow to becoming a full-on fascist. Not to mention, even if Zoomer Chris had something people would be disgusted by like a shit fetish, it'd be nothing unique compared to other handfuls that end up being just as cringeworthy and leaving it on various sites like a subreddit.
     
  18. Ms. Mowz

    Ms. Mowz My likes mean absolutely nothing!

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2017
    Messages:
    11,411
    Likes Received:
    17,012
    I was going to say, it doesn't help that the word lolcow has become yet another meaningless insult used by terminally online idiots to "own the libs".
    (Side note: I fucking hate this political divide the internet has caused.)
     
  19. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2017
    Messages:
    26,128
    Likes Received:
    53,505
    The internet was less serious business during the "Wild West days" and the '00s.

    (and yeah I know that not everything was rosy before "Current Year" and not all is bad now)

    Then right now he'd be 21, and maybe he'd know better than to "be pony" online?
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2023
    Harrison Gentleman and Ms. Mowz like this.
  20. ShinyMetalAss

    ShinyMetalAss Blackjack, Hookers & 'Tism

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2017
    Messages:
    1,142
    Likes Received:
    4,249

    He would have probably received medical treatment for his autism because his parents wouldn't be brain damaged lunatics born in the 1930s