Meta What If?

Good point. Then again they could've been shitty in a different way. What if they blamed his autism on vaccines and refused to get him any more? Then there probably would be no Chris because he wouldn't survive long enough.

 

silver lining: he'd be spared from The Life of Fail

But then he'd be gone, the Tale of Fail couldn't serve as a cautionary tale, and this site wouldn't exist.

 

Political shit aside, the word "lolcow" would still become another meaningless insult the moment a site like ED or the Farms allowed anyone to make a page and show some cringe rando as a lolcow. Yeah some rando diaper furry or loli fucker weeb has some cringe worthy fetish after telling people he wanted to crinkle a diaper in his fursuit or how he wants to lap up fictional vagina from anime girls and much as this shit is cringe, it doesn't really hit well in lolcow when you look at how shit was with former lolcows like Chris-Chan whose well-known work became an ego trip while falling for and feeding trolls, A-Log who turned out to be no better than Chris what with overreacting on Chris's fuck ups and saying how it was worse than Saddam, TheUnknownAutobot who pretty tried to do "troll buster" shit despite looking like an idiot and reaching out to Chris which is something one shouldn't do, or Len Shaner who pretty much was shit to coworkers (if one assumes what was said by GookChoy on the Farms to be true which are helped by how Len tried to respond to some iirc) who was also a nuisance to local rail line due to being a trainsperg that managed to have a train stop because Len go to close and wasn't liked by other train fans in the area iirc.

Aside from whatever anti-social thing one can say about "lolcow" and with how some people use it to troll-shield because they feel some fetish, kink, or tick about them would make them a target (how many furries or weebs would secretly jump on using this to get at someone they don't like? I imagine some could since the internet has shown well enough how many sociopaths can be out and about with a following or a closed group), it's also its own artifact from another time. I liken lolcows and watching them back then to being like Jackass, a product of its time that one would look at like a trainwreck.

Emphasis on "would" since they'd still be people that would likely fuck up. Instead of 1930's thinking Borb would have, they'd just have some other crap mid thinking. Anti-vax shit did get popular thanks to people buying into some BS and some of that BS was thinking vaccines cause autism. Chris could still be fucked in some way on the parental side. As said by @Judgesaturn507, Borb would blame the autism on vaccines.

We'd all likely be living better lives, or more likely just fucking around on some other part of the internet. Also more importantly, A-Log's fan-fics would remain unknown to all save and many of us would be spared from 6 inch fox dick.

What if Chris was raised by a version of Barb that wasn't some neurotic adult who did bizarre scenarios on her first born son Cole?

 

Makes me think of when Chris was at TooManyGames and was restrained by a mother of an autistic child. If Barb had been like that woman we may never have heard of Chris at all.

 

Drachenlord sits on people
he'd yell at Chris in German, Chris yells back nonsense words in a German accent, and then Drachenlord sits on Chris

 

that is most unusual

 

Neither. The weens and haters would just come in and win the fight in looking like bigger jackasses.

 

What if the lolcow didn't commit incest and just lied that he did, but the legal system took it seriously?

(Is that even possible?)

 

you still have to be pretty depraved to lie about fucking your own mother

 

What if chris shows up at 14BLC only to find Borb has passed and the house is up for sale?

 

Nah, Barb is immortal. At least until someone finds her phylactery in the hoard

 

And it'll of course end in tragedy regardless of whether Chris succeeds or not. Any thing of value is already taken, anything trash goes into the garbage, and the jerkops will be there arrest Chris for breaking and entering.

 

I kind of assume that anything "of value" would become instantly valueless once Chris got his disgusting fingers on it, TBH. I'm pretty sure only weens would be interested in his Sonichu-plastered crapped up game consoles, assuming they even survived the fire.

 

By "of value" I meant things that normal people would point out having an actual value for anyone like any video games and consoles Chris has rather than whatever handmade Sonichu crap there is, more so if it wasn't marred in Sonichu coloring. Even if a ween said how the Sonichu stuff has value, that ain't going to be of value anyone except who'd ever be able to milk suckers willing to spend money on a genuine CWC made doodle.

 

I mean, Chris always seemed to plastered his game consoles with Sonichu "art", so you would have to be a spectacularly stupid scalper to expect a decent price from them.
Unless of course, said scalper hawks their extortion prices exclusively to the spectacularly stupid weens that think those would get them into Christory (as if that was ever a good thing).

 

Chris maybe has old C64 or NES stuff that collectors would buy, but nothing worth terribly much.

 

Especially since Chris didn't exactly take good care of them. Reminder of the time he humped his PS3.

 

That's all assuming any of those are in some condition that'd be worth a price. Even if Chris didn't put Sonichu coloring on them, being left out of the box and in the hoard may as well let them look more like junk with each passing day.

Don't forget literally hitting it with a brick as well.