Meta What If?

Aside from how disgusting in of itself with how Chris pins the blame when it was all on that Shecameforcwc drawing and iirc, mentioning certain thoughts to Megan that would, Chris trying to say Megan was "too immature" makes one wonder how much other things Chris spewed out that would sound like some manosphere incel rhetoric.

 

He was using a Lego Megan as a voodoo doll at one point, IIRC. There was a time when he thought Megan was one of the leaders of the trolls or something like that. With that in mind, full blown Incel-Chris doesn't sound too unlikely. He was already blaming a woman for all his life's problems just because she didn't sleep with him.

But, I think he'd also see himself as being "above" all the other incels somehow, and come up with a unique term just for him.

 

Wouldn't be surprising considering the ego. One could imagine something more stupid than the title of "Supreme Gentleman."

 

This is actually a big part of why I believe he never became a Trump Supporter.

Chris is a "Benevolent Misogynist", he's sexist in the way the teacher from Everybody Hates Chris is racist.

For those who haven't seen the show, Everybody Hates Chris is about a black kid growing up just a little bit after segregation ended and the hardships faced both by being black and poor. Chris stands head and shoulders above his peers which attracts the attention of Ms. Morello, his teacher who believes herself to be the white savior of Chris and seems to act as though she believes being black is some kind of disability that Chris has and is overcoming. Not because she hates black people, but because she was raised into racist ideology and geniunely believes various myths about black people. She means well, but is prone to casually saying the most racist shit you've heard in your life.

In one episode she believes Chris is just being polite when he says his mother owns the house he lives in, and doesn't want to admit to being on welfare, she then gets mad at Chris for leading her to believe that his family was completely dependent on Government Assistance accusing him of lying despite having been forthcoming the entire time... This is relevant because she was trying to come up with a good sob story to help get him into a good college, something she geniunely believes Chris needs because he's a gifted student but with low income at a highly racist point in America's history.

Overtly so, but his heart is in the right place despite his head being up his ass. He doesn't hate women, but like Ms. Morello and black people, he views women through a highly distorted lens based not on negative feelings of the group in question, but what he has been brought up to believe.

Chris, that is OUR Chris, Chris-Chan believes that women are weaker and more book dumb, but softer, more empathetic, wiser and highly spiritual. We see this a lot in the fact that what he wants in a mate is a fuckable mother to take care of him, an observation that is now much darker given what he did to Barb.

Chris is also a harsh Misandrist in that he believes that men are pure scum, meat heads who measure their dicks, and abuse women.

Chris also has no concept of Misogyny outside of violent domestic abuse, which makes him unable to recognize his own misogynistic tendencies.

Trump is not only a man, but he presents himself as a highly masculine individual that eats steak, drinks liquor, bangs a different broad every night, etc. Basically actively trying to adhere to the stereotypes Chris genuinely believes about all men who aren't himself. Because of this, Chris can only see Trump as the villain.

The only kind of man Chris would blindly follow is a New Age Spiritualist type who talks about the splendor of "Balancing Masculine and Feminine energies.", and even then that person would have to talk in a way that affirms that Chris is a divine being.

Now if Chris wasn't gender confused (He believes men are evil but superior and women are good but inferior, and he identifies as female not because of actual gender dysphoria, but because he wants to be in the middle of this spectrum, good but superior) I'd imagine he'd probably follow someone like JK Rowling or any other TERF leader because that's the closest you can get to a female Man-O-Sphere.

Course he wouldn't follow JK specifically because Harry Potter is one of the few things Chris sees as irredemably evil due to his belief that it "Tried to compete with Pokemon"

Even though he has no problem with Sonic (Which tried to compete with Mario) and Sony (Which is actively the nemesis of Nintendo), or even Yu-Gi-Oh (Which actually competed with Pokemon, or at least Pokemon Cards)

I imagine Chris' hatred of Harry Potter likely comes from a teacher probably trying to use Harry Potter to ween Chris off of Video Games and onto reading at some point. I think this because a teacher did that for me, but I was smart enough to realize that reading during free time school and gaming during free time at home was an option so I didn't throw a shitfit and instead read Harry Potter and Redwall like a good boy, as was my gender at the time.

...Though Chris was in high school when the Boy Wizard hit the scene, and I was in the 5th fucking Grade. Autism is barely an excuse because I'm also stricken with 'tism. Chris has always just been a spoiled manchild.

Nyway, back on topic

Trump is too masculine for Chris to see in a positive light, so Chris will never follow Trump

 

What if "Chris Chan" were still a "virgin with rage"? Aside from not going to that "Jail of Fail" for "healing" Barb, how could it have gone differently? I suspect he'd still be on that never ending idiotic "Love Quest", with it getting ever more desperate. And deranged. At least until his sex drive erodes away with age -- and his craptastic health from daily fast food -- anyways.

To me, "misogyny" is hating women, so that is an oxymoron. But in any case, "Chris Chan" wants to treat women -- and anyone who isn't him for that matter -- like crap. Especially his own mom. And speaking of Barb, I read that he derped that he has some kind of access to Barb's finances, which is no good at all. Why allow that deranged freak to be anywhere near Barb after all that?

(from the "5/17/2025 - Sonic 2006 game livestream + donor ween phonecall" thread on KF)

 

An oxymoron is more or less how I mean it. When I say the misogyny is benevolent, I don't mean he's being sexist and kind at the same time.

I mean he's trying to be Pro-Women and is just so inept that he's accomplishing the exact opposite.

I mean it in the same vein as the term "Benvolent Racism", which is a term for when a policy or action that is meant to be racially inclusive backfires horribly and winds up being horrifically bigoted.

A good example would be white people who tell asians that they "Speak English so well!" and "Can't even notice their accent!"

The intent is to compliment how good they speak, but the execution if botched as easily as it can be, can come off as saying "Oh, I expected you to speak in Engrish because I'm stupid and can't believe Asians talk normally"

Or say, if a teacher assumes that the one black kid in his class needs extra help, when in fact, he doesn't and his test scores reflect this. The teacher intends to be helpful, but his actions are entirely based on stereotypes rather than actual need, and thus are doomed to alieniate said student rather than offer any real assistance, thus harming academic performance.

Now just think of this in terms of Chris' behavior. Chris genuinely believes women are so distracted by "teh shopping" that they cannot notice men who want to date them, so he "assists them" by making the Attraction Sign. Chris thinks he's helping his potiential heartsweet find him, like shining a beacon of love from his lighthouse to her ship.... In reality he's being a creep and soliciting sex in public.

Chris thinks that by doing a story about Rosechu face-raping a pornographer, he's making some statement about women's rights. Instead he's made an overly bizarre fetish comic and even in the scene in question the pornographer is literally shown to be into Rosechu's face-raping electric attack.... Rendering anything punishing about the ironic punishment, moot.

And my best example. Chris draws a picture of him finger-banging his pal Megan, she gets mad. Chris assumes that because she's a woman without sexual interest in him, she doesn't know what sex is and thus is made because she doesn't understand. So Chris "kindly" explains the picture to her in great detail. In reality? Chris has insulted both her intelligence by assuming she doesn't know anything about sex and her as a person her with poorly drawn non-consensual smut of her.

Now I'm not saying "Porn is inherently evil and demeans women", but what I am saying is that anyone with common sense and any iota of respect for their female friends... DOES NOT FUCKING USE THEM AS THE BASIS FOR THEIR WANK MATERIAL. Chris is a moron and a misogynistic, so he actually performed an action that actually is inherently evil and demeaned Megan.

I hope this has clarified what I meant by "Benevolent Misogyny"

Chris doesn't do sexist things because he overly hates women, Chris does sexist things because he's fucking stupid. Whether or not that makes it better? Well your mileage may vary on that, because at the end of the day he still only sees women as existing for the sexual pleasure of men.

Not just him specifically, men, I mean look at the Sonichu Comic and how hard it fails the bechdel test. Rosechu literally has no point to her existence outside of something for Sonichu to fuck.

 

"wow that's a lotta words"

Also what if "Chris Chan" was born in 1952 instead of 1982?

 

IIRC, it gets more fucked up when Chris made the drawing and put Megan in it not just to prove trolls of being straight but also out of some fucked up fantasy involving Megan and "major release for hormones." The benevolent misogyny may ended up toeing the line to something much worse considering that.

Chris hating black people would be more than just thinking black kids will steal Pokemon cards.

 

This may have been asked before, but what if "Chris Chan" wasn't "on the spectrum" somehow?

I think had he been born in the 1950s, hating on black people would be the least of his issues. It is likely he'd be living in an institution if he were as freakish as he is in this timeline.

I still see that as an oxymoron as the reasonable definition of "misogyny" is hating women. But maybe "Chris Chan" really does hate women... or at least any women who don't kiss his ass (ew).

 

This is the big reason why Chris never got help for his autism, when the School System told Bob and Barb about "Special Help" for people in "Chris' situation", they thought they wanted to take him away, lock him up in a padded cell, give him a few thousand volts every now and then, and cut out a piece of his brain for good measure.

 

Estrogen HRT usually annihilates any sex drive that's there, or at least changes the presentation. It also causes penile atrophy so the brief lull in Chris's online sex antics could be due to that. Him being able to get it up enough to stick it in Barb is a sign he stopped taking it for a fairly long amount of time beforehand, though.

 

Seconded on this. Would also like to add that there's a entire side to inceldom where they "pinkpill" because they see leftie chicks as easy to get with and constantly whine over the fact they can't plow anymore. They also try to groom kids online who are a little socially awkward with bathtub E, claiming it will be the solution to regular ol teenage angst or bullying due to autism

 

I want to hear more actually

 

There's apparently some subset of incels who think they'd be more attractive to women if they became trans women. They'll transition, believing it will improve their standing in the dating-world. "Transmaxxing" is one of the things they call it. But, since they aren't trans and are doing this because they think it will get them laid, I can't imagine it ends well for them in any regard. They'll also still hate women (and trans people) despite doing this.

Which I guess is close to how we ended up with modern Chris.

Anyway, a TERF Chris could have been amusing. I'm imagining him screaming at his camera, cursing crossdressers in a bad British accent, while wearing the old "muscle bra".

 

Oh God, the CWCisms we could get from a Chris that speaks "Nonsense British"

I mean seriously, it's an accent where even when it's spoken well is still so laughable that it's the basis of one of the main jokes of an entire trilogy of comedy films (Austin Powers)


Especially since he'd be forcing it, so he'd make the American kids who get the accent from Peppa Pig look fluent.

Shout out to Saber Spark for pointing out how hillarious "Water Bottle" is when said with a thick english accent

 

Can you imagine if he went to high school in Korea? There's a lot of pressure and work to succeed there.

(and I doubt he'd make any Korean equivalent of the honor roll)

 

What if Chris-Chan went to the planet Arrakis from Dune?

 

As he waddles around in the desert, his excessive weight would make his footsteps attract a worm.

"Worms attack all rhythmic vibrations." (the 1984 film)

 

What if Chris demonstrated genuine paranormal abilities?