Meta What If?

Chris would start with a magic Sonichu medallion and the amnyfist ring that gives +1 to combat. And a can of mace.

 

Maybe in an alternate timeline where that lolcow was never born (which easily could've been as Borb were old), there could've been the Kooky Forums: a site dedicated to discussing lolcows. Kooky Forums later became Kiwi Farms, named after how a number of lolcows mispronounced "Kooky Forums"... while another site went up called Kooky Klub. Kooky Klub is pretty much the same as CC in this timeline, but with a certain subforum missing.

 

Here are a list of what-if questions I have related to Chris:

• What if the infamous sex tape was made for Jackie instead of Julie?
• What if the Miscreants remained active to this day and didn't disband after Bob died?
• What if Chris didn't transition and become a tomgirl and later, transgender?
• What if Chris decided to go back to his classic-era self for nostalgia?
  
• What if Chris lived in medieval Europe?
• What if after Barb dies or moves out of 14 Branchfield Court, and it goes up for sale, someone turns it into a museum dedicated to Chris?
• What if Chris got assassinated or murdered?
• What if there was a forum dedicated to weens?

 

I can answer some of these

If Chris didn't transition, he wouldn't have the white knights he does today.

Chris would never go back to Classic Chris without inside influences, as he lacks the self-awareness to do so.

If Chris lived in medieval Europe he would be a court jester who was executed fro claiming to be God.

If Chris was murdered, the killer would be the most infamous man in net history. Even more so than those Youtubers who get caught trying to meet children for sex.

 

We'd still just get Chris fucking a blowup doll with a piss filter.

If the Miscreants went on, it'd likely just end up being unfunny because at this point, Chris was well-beyond the person they fucked with back then, no longer the clown shirted male virgin but the tomgirl to transgender with a criminal record in incest and elder abuse.

No one is gonna buy 14 Branchland Court and turn it into a museum unless they had enough money to waste on the house. Even then, you'd need all of Chris' junk to make it a museum and this is assuming it didn't get trashed or sold off by the bank because of any outstanding debts.

A forum dedicated to weens would likely get raided by them or face attempts at being cut down.

 

What if Chris exploded?

 

Bloods and guts everywhere. And also dirty, crapped briefs everywhere.

What if Chris really was in Finland?

 

What if Julie was actually real?

 

That would require Molvania to also be real. If that did happen though, with Julie as an actual woman (And not a mentally disturbed 12 year old boy loose on the internet), she probably would have still catfished Chris and lead him on to humiliate him. Many young women did already when playing fake girlfriends, especially so they could play the part in voice calls.

 

Not only that but Clyde Cash would be lucky in not being seen as a groomer or a pedofork in telling a 12 year old disturbed boy what to say to Chris in phone sex.

 

If it happened today yeah.... no.. police would have shut that shit down.

Back then sex crime on the net was just laughed at "lol Chris Hansen" and the word Groomer didn't exist in that context.

If someone gets a 12 year old today to roleplay sex a net celeb...

Someone is going to fucking jail

 

Definitely. It's also a good way to show how far the internet came comparing "then" and "now." Even then for all the lulz Clyde did in having a 12 year old say sexual things to Chris, others from that time were just disgusted and all it'd take is one of them leaking any chat logs and the like to cops and Chris Hansen to make it all blow up harder in Clyde's face.

 

There are a lot of fucking people who are lucky as hell that no one's going to check old IRC chat logs or even remembers what IRC is, that's for damn sure.