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Chris Chan did not escape from prison.

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by Cyan, Aug 29, 2022.

  1. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    If you're here lurking from Twitter because the CWCki and Kiwifarms are down, the "news" of Chris's escape was only a 4chan shitpost.

    You can search the Virginia Judiciary System to see that he's still in custody, and if that isn't enough to convince you, keep in mind that Chris has no capacity for long term planning, keeping said plans to himself, nor the physical prowess to escape from his downtown courthouse while evading police.

    Twitter is not a news outlet and should not be treated like one.
     
  2. Pibot

    Pibot The autist formerly known as Pikonic

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    No, Chrissy most likely did not escape prison through a bathroom window. People are falling for a green text prank.
    1.) Chris is dumb
    2.) Courthouse and prison windows would be difficult to open, thanks to Ted Bundy pulling this escape off in the 1970s.
    3.) Chris is slow, out of shape, and would stand out, no way you couldn’t find him blobbing about for 5 hours.

    Memes are reporting found here
    https://bareillycollege.org/did-chr...on-or-courtroom-memes-take-over-the-internet/
     
  3. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    (also it's very likely he wishes he could escape)
     
  4. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    I already said and stickied this but you guys can use this thread for discussion I guess.
     
  5. Congratulations

    Congratulations You like? Staff Member Moderator

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    Won't chris be freaked out when he next goes online (to whatever capacity he legally can) and see's fake news of him escaping prison.
     
  6. Anya

    Anya Heh Administrator

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    In fairness, he's only in county jail, not federal bang-me-in-the-ass prison.
     
  7. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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  8. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    Sure.
     
  9. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

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    Chris escapes jail
    then he goes to McD's to celebrate and a ween makes his burger and puts extra pickles on it to freak out Chris
    Chris complains to the manager and melts down so much they have to call the cops
    ween-cook texts all his ween buddies and they get to the McD's as the cops catch Chris and the weens chant julaay
     
  10. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    and then everyone clapped
     
  11. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    It’s like Chris is now banned from everywhere.
     
  12. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    I mean, that is the point of prison isn't it?
     
    Ms. Mowz, Pibot, ToroidalBoat and 3 others like this.
  13. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    Did not know this was a thing.
     
  14. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    Funny you should mention that:
    Capture.PNG
     
  15. Henry Bemis

    Henry Bemis On an eight-hour tour of a graveyard

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    BOLDYSPICY strategy, Cotton.
     
  16. Judgesaturn507

    Judgesaturn507 rambling without substance

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    I wonder what happens when Kenneth tells him about the rumor. How is he going to react?
     
  17. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    Why would he be going to the Juvenile court he's 40.
     
  18. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    Mental age doesn't count obviously
     
  19. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 friend of little cat

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    IIRC his case was in the family and juvenile court docket and was the most serious case that particular court can adjudicate (5th degree felony)

    plus something about being an adult autistic child
     
  20. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    What if Chris' mental age is 1/10th of that?

    (more realistically it's about 1/5th of it)