Meta Chris' True and Honest D&D Characture Sheet (roll for autism)

Now its been a long time since I've played DnD but here's what I've noticed:

• Your speed represents how far you can travel in one round and each round is equivalent to six seconds. Chris has 3,736 ft for his speed which is 424.5 miles per hour or roughly half the speed of sound.
• Sonichu Medallion as equipment lol
• He is neutral good which is the lamest character alignment
• Nothing is written under the flaws section

Here are a few bullets from the CWCki if your too lazy to check that out:

• Starting at level 24, a level higher than god characters.
• Overpowered transformation ability, giving himself a +5 or +10 bonus, enough to make it so that he would never lose at dice rolls unless rolling a one.
• Insufficient equipment. Chris has two swords and a crossbow, despite his character (Cleric/Ranger hybrid) not being optimized to wield either.

 

inb4 Chris makes a YouTube video where he plays D&D with himself and steamrolls any obstacle in his way with his broken character.

 

At least D&D isn't that pony card game thing.

 

this could be good

of course Chris thinks he's a god

Sonic speed - gotta go fast!

 

elbow greased strength

 

So Chris has created another one of his specialties, a mary sue.

Wait, what. Are bronies still a thing?
For real?

 

Chris was the first brony, and he could very well be the last brony.

 

i saw these images in a tabletop thread i was in and thought "oh someones making a lame joke" but finding out its chris's actual sheet makes a lot more sense

 

I would like to see the D.M. that lets that abomination into a game.

 

I would take it a step further: I would like to see Chris DM. Fuck it, we're all on a discussion site for the inner workings of his fucked-up mind. What better way to experience it in full force?

 

i have a feeling like the game would end up like the legacy wars post on /tg/

 

A word salad cluster fuck.

 

This may be somewhat weenish on my part, but what if he DM'ed and had someone add a Henderson or Elsimore to his campaign?

 

at least with henderson the player made his character in a way that the dm couldnt really call him on his bullshit easily and was a competent player in the system he was playing, the dm only really got big mad when henderson killed hastur via rules as written, i think chris would try to get rules lawyery (assuming he's read the DM guide and the PHB) with someone doing a optimized build or try to use that guy DM bullshit and rule zero in efforts to "hard counter" said player. honestly imo is even though 5e is quite simple to learn from a players and DM's perspective i feel like he wouldnt do the reading to actually DM coherently.

 

If he's not the DM but he's playing in the campaign, how is his Ranger an NPC?

 

Through the godlike powers of his characters always being mary sues.

 

But a character is only an NPC if that character is run by the DM. So, did he make this Ranger and tell the DM to control him?

 

i think the DM took a look at his sheet realized that it would be a headache to tell chris "this is shit roll an actual PC" and compromised with him to make said chara a npc where the DM at least had some control over the fuckery and wasnt stealing the show from other pc's with his homebrew bullshit.