Tweet 5/16 - Rant against online dating

Source

Chris rants at Doopie about online dating.

@DoopieDoOver, I have tried online dating years in a row; mostly-to-nothing-but pretentious Trolls. With such people faking interests to tug at numerous heartstrings, I hardly believe, and can barely comprehend, how people who meet online First actually end up meeting sincere people through dating and social sites. For me, it is In Person First, or bust, and even that is difficult for me. And I just finished watching the new Planet Dolan video, with your successful online dating. I will Never Ever Understand, nor will I Ever summon any courage to meet people online, Anywhere. Dating sites, in games, ecetera! UGH! I feel jealous of every person who has been successful of online dating. And I feel upset and lonely again. I really do not want any negative responses. But,...WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO HATE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT HATE OR LOVE,... who love to take advantage of people, in general, who feel need to mess with us? And WHY is it that I attract such hurtful people? UGH! Damn Haters can go to the left & kiss off *sigh*...

 

Yeah, it would be pretty weird to meet people and wonder if they're just trying to trick you into doing something weird so they could upload it to the internet.

But Chris is still his own worse troll - no troll made him draw terrible porn of Megan, no troll made him run over Snyder a few times, no troll made him run from police in the Get-Tar Region, no troll made him freak out at a dean of his college, and no troll made him mace an innocent Game Stop employee just trying to make a living.

 

And chris is looking for pitty points.

 

Of course he's trying to manipulate people into pitying him, Barb does it all the time.

 

I do feel bad that people went out of their way to be dicks to him but....nobody is stopping him from meeting people IRL now. He's going to the Fridays After 5 and concerts and the gay clubs so he IS doing things which is good. You just gotta keep trying until you find someone; doing stuff online is an "easy" way to be introduced to more people but you still gotta put in a lot of effort for it to work.

 

Doopie should care because?

 

unfortunately chris is too "stressed" to do even online dating

Chris thinks she should

 

"Yeah, I dated fake women who made me stick things in my butt. So pretentious."

 

"But,...WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD WHO HATE EVERYTHING FOR EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT HATE OR LOVE,"

In other words, chris can't get a date so he blames his problems on the masses.

 

well, chris might be more popular than she is, that means he's "important"

 

Well, again chris seems to think the perfect girl should show up at his door, lips puckered and pants down.

Since he never leaves the house, he ain't gonna find one.

 

Yeah, no troll made him smash his own PS3, no troll made him stick his medallion up his ass, no troll worked for years to construct an entire alternate reality for him that exists online and has since bled into his real world life to the extent that if he meets a random person on the street who says "hello" to him he can't be sure if the person is just a normal guy saying hi to him, or some troll from the internet.

Chris might be his own worst troll, but he didn't get that status through a lack of effort on the part of the other trolls. Plus, the Gamestop thing wasn't orchestrated by trolls, but they probably had an indirect hand in it by 'supporting' his protests and fanning the flames of his anger in an effort to make him do something funny.

 

For anyone who has the slightest twinge of remorse or pity for Chris' dating woes, keep in mind this is the same person who willingly uploaded a video onto his public YT channel on how to perform cunnilingus, one of him making out with a blow-up doll in his yard, and most recently one with him dry-humping a doll. This is also the same person who has posted articles onto his public Facebook account about tribbing and piercing his taint.

And this isn't even touching on how many people he has creeped on, or hell, how much he is right now hovering around Doopie like she even gives a shit.

Does it suck that he has had to deal with exceptionals like Bluespike and Kacey? It's unfortunate, yes. However, considering how Chris actually believes that a woman is supposed to suck duck by the third date and any woman who becomes afflicted associated with him needs to be able to pay the bills so he can stay at home and play with children's toys... yeah, no. Don't waste your pity.

 

Irony is bliss

 

"pretentious Trolls"

Chris obviously doesn't know what "pretentious" means. Just like thinking the word "vintage" can be used with anything old.

 

This is also the man who has molested (at least) one woman.

 

I just took a detailed look at that, Rosechu looks like her right cheek is swollen. Looks like chris failed to filter out the domestic abuse.

 

The stress of living in a free house provided by CWCville government must be taking its' toll on the 'chus.

Spoiler

Chris doesn't do do overs -- even though he likely wants to do DoopieDoOver -- if a mistake is made because of that freakish pen grip, it's left in and worked around.