The Official Waterthread - In Which Waterman’s Retardation is Collected

William Elliot Waterman presents: The Amazing Adventures of Bananasaur! Coming to a trash heap near you!

 

That has a sliver of potential to be somewhat entertaining. All this crazy CWCVille shit is happening, Bananasaur sucks at aiding the Combo, and then is all "I was so bad because I was trolling Sonichu."

 

That would be fucking amazing if that happened.

Like, just a scene of utter destruction, injured chu's everywhere, and Sonichu wheezes out "B.....Bananasaur......w-why?"

And Bananasaur just looks at Sonichu and goes "I.....work.....for Clyde Cash....."

 

The new plotline for TRS?

 

Has Waterfowl given any words of wisdom about the current events with Jessica?

 

So either he thought that drawing his retarded yellow banana thing would somehow cheer Chris up, or his thought process was: "I can use this as leverage to get my shit character into a webcomic that people only care about because it's so shit and its author is an autistic trainwreck."

What piece of your brain has to be missing to operate like that? Science can learn things from people as stupid as Watermelon.

 

There are several pieces missing, from what I can gather. Then again, I am not a brain surgeon, so I couldn't list off all of them based solely on his behavior.

 

We all missed Chapter 3 of A New Ed in Town (ANEiT) I know we’re all disappointed. I don’t care about the actual story, I’m just pointing out the writing.
https://fanfiction.net/s/7070469/3/

• Water is trying to play the “I’m bad on purpose” writer. I think ANEiT is supposed to be a jab at fanfic authors as a whole and not Edd Ed n Eddy/Twilight. It’s supposed to be lighthearted and stupid, but in this chapter Water reveals that he spent 5 years reading Twilight to write this. This isn’t a joke as this is mentioned in the ABL exchange. You don’t need to read the source material to write a fanfic and you don’t need to “research”. To Watermelon, ANEiT is serious and the source material MUST BE FOLLOWED TO A T. Those who follow me on KF may know I wrote “The Sunstone Chronicles,” a Sonichu/Deagle Nation crossover. I’ve never read Tiberius Rising (Jace’s book.)
• It should be noted that Water didn’t actually read the book, just a spork of it.
• He knows everything about Twilight, but fails to have Renessme present. For those of you who have the slightest idea of what Twilight is about will know Renesmee is Edward and Bella’s daughter and the driving force of the entire final book, as she is the baby that starts a fucking war and is engaged to the shirtless werewolf. I assume ANEiT takes place after the Twilight series, so Renesmee should be there. Solid research there.
• Johnny says “Watermelon is a lousy nickname.” He wasn’t called Watermelon in the show. Gee, I wonder why that line is in there.
• He says this will be the best fanfic ever and will continue only if he gets the praise he deserves. This might be a jab at Chris or the person who wrote My Immortal, but I don’t think Water is that clever.

 

Jesus Christ. 5 years of the same book series. He could use fifty shades of grey or even any other young teen book. He's got a long way to go for the best fanfic.

 

I'm speechless.

I thought it was impossible for a human to be this pathetic.

But I was wrong.

Very wrong.

 

Let's sweetheart saga watermelon and convince him to shove his earthbound scratch and sniff up his ass

 

Let's break his neck and dox his mom's tits

 

Dude... dial it down.

 

let's bomb his house and dox his town

 

Tfw the Chris draught has made us thirsty enough to give watermelon a visit.

 

I can confirm that Will has been working on this fanfic for years, he used to send me versions of the story to beta-read for him. A lot of it was inspired by Twilight sporks, which he reads a lot of. He apparently attempted to make a career as a beta-reader for lolcows (Gloria Tesch, Chris) but I don't think anything came from that.

 

i doubt it would