My Immortal (THE ONE FANFIC TO RULE THEM ALL)

Well this clears up some things. butt not all of it. i just want to see a post that her complete feels abouy the whole thing since she seems to have grow up.

 

Sadly, there is not much known about Tara Gilesbe's current whereabouts other than that she's around 22 years old now. She probably sees it as a funny memory nowadays, but since she's disappeared from the Internet and that there are many people who have posed as her, we can't know for sure. Here's some links:

http://myimmortal.wikia.com/wiki/Tara_Gilesbie

https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLo..._happened_to_the_tara_gilesbie_the_writer_of/

 

Thank you immensely for linking that. It's fantastic.

Spoiler: My result (Some of it is quite funny so I thought I'd share)

Hi, my name is Groobin Doobin Hoobin Noobin Foobin and I have limp fast hungry hair (that's how I got my name) with ginger streaks and lowly tips that reaches my mid-back and gay effeminate eyes like limpid cum and a lot of people tell me I look like Danny Devito (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here). I'm not related to Carlton Banks but I wish I was because he's a major longing hottie. I'm an aubergine but my teeth are beautiful and unusual. I have dusty black skin. I'm also a sofa-bed, and I go to a sensual school called Hell, Michigan in Hell, Finland where I'm in the seventh year. I'm seventeen. I'm a photocopier (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly green. I love CWCville Virginia and I buy all my xenophobia from there. For example, today, I was wearing a grating corset with sexual knickers around it and a dry moist brassiere, flabby ring and pink velvety hairclip. I was wearing wet lipstick, icy foundation, springy eyeliner and bouncy eye shadow. I was walking outside Tesco. It was flouncing and stumbling so there was no phonebook, which I was very happy about. A lot of countries stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Loobin", shouted a voice. I looked up. It was Lady Gaga.

"What's up, Grubin?" I asked.

"Nothing", he said seductively.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

EDIT: I did this blind so some of it is a bit unremarkable.

 

I don't remember it ever being legitimately confirmed as being a trollfic. I do remember a lot of people pretending to be Tara and confessing to writing it as a troll. I remember every once in a while I would hear about or stumble upon a fanfiction author with a confession on their profile saying that they wrote the story, then they say that they either A) Wrote it when they were young and didn't know any better or B) wrote it as a trollfic. Really, it could go either way.

 

Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx!

 

I originally found out about Sonichu and Chris after listening to Brendanial's reading of this fic.

 

I've read the "My Immortal"-posing Twilight fic "Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen" all the way through, but not the legend itself. I shouldn't be calling myself in any way a lover of (troll) badfics, nor should I ever quote it, until I push myself through it.

But I did jump on the bandwagon, poorly. Thanks, Cyan, for the link.

Spoiler

Hi my name is John Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt and I have mousey lanky floofy hair ( that's how I got my name ) with skanky streaks and silky tips that reaches my mid-back and slimy leathery eyes like limpid sewage and a lot of people tell me I look like Michael Jackson ( AN : if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here. I'm not related to Sarah Palin but I wish I was because he's a major rocking hottie. I'm a penguin but my teeth are stringy and flowery. I have white plaid skin. I'm also a sky, and I go to a deep school called Lisbon in Maria where I'm in the seventh year ( I'm seventeen. I'm a fish ( in case you couldn't tell ) and I wear mostly shiny. I love K-Mart and Best Buy and I buy all my ladybugs from there. For example today I was wearing a small garterbelt with sparkly boots around it and a blue striped panties, wooly vest and black trashy pencil skirt. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of bitches stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

" Hey John shouted a voice. I looked up. It was. Kim Jong Un

What's up Kim Jong I asked.

Nothing he said sexily.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 

this is wonderful

Spoiler

Hi my name is Lawrence Datboi Jean Lucpicard Chillingsworth and I have gay crimson dull hair ( that's how I got my name ) with lifeless streaks and boring tips that reaches my mid-back and impotent dead eyes like limpid sewage runoff and a lot of people tell me I look like Jack Klugman ( AN : if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here. I'm not related to Peter Graves but I wish I was because he's a major surfing hottie. I'm a taco but my teeth are spicy and saucy. I have stupid fresh skin. I'm also a whore, and I go to a girlish school called Boston Red Sox in Saudi Arabia where I'm in the seventh year ( I'm seventeen. I'm a habberdasher ( in case you couldn't tell ) and I wear mostly black. I love Kroger and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black Raincoat with rainbow Piano-key Necktie around it and a black leather Socks, pink Promise Ring and orange felt Toupee. I was wearing gray lipstick, frosted foundation, wholesome eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Arbys. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of peasants stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

" Hey Reginald shouted a voice. I looked up. It was. Paul Blart

What's up Osama I asked.

Nothing he said campily.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 

warnin summa dis tread iz xtremly scray, viower excretion avizd

 

Are you telling me to annex the sudetenland?

 

A couple of highlights from mine -
"I have divine Aquarian cheerful hair ( that's how I got my name ) with glitzy streaks and charitable tips that reaches my mid-back and trigger-happy perplexed eyes like limpid Vanilla Coke..."
"I'm a rhinestone but my teeth are filthy and lazy."
"I have faithful iconic skin. I'm also a grapevine, and I go to a Tiffany Blue school called The Empire State Building in Jessica where I'm in the seventh year ( I'm seventeen. I'm a rosebud ( in case you couldn't tell )..."
"For example today I was wearing a generous sock with infinite sweaters around it and a delicate quick toe ring, willowy fedora and uppity jagged eyeliner. I was wearing decadent lipstick, hypnotic foundation, gifted eyeliner and virile eye shadow."
"It was shifting and choosing so there was no gold bar, which I was very happy about."
And my favorite...
"A lot of wolverines stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them."

 

As far as the fic proper goes, by far my favorite part is in chapter 11 when Hargrid "paused in the air dramitacly waving his wand in the air then swooped he in singing to the tune of a goffic version of a song by 50 Cent!"

 

The plot of the fic confuses the hell out of me. I still can't comprehend how they get to the torture rape dungeon. Or even why that's a thing in the fic. It comes out of no where.

 

That's what makes it so wonderful. It's like a fic that takes place in Wonderland - everyone is mad and nothing happens with any logic or reason.

 

My Immortal Is great, that is if you go into it having no doubts as to its sincerity and authenticity, if however you have doubts about whether it is real or not, it doesn't really do much sadly.

 

There are kids that still worship Hot Topic, surprisingly. Now they're more into Hot Topic's licensed fandom merchandise *cough*Doctor Who and Deadpool*cough*

 

Then the fic is, in fact, not a fic at all. For a fiction still abides by the rules of the narrative. It's just a collection of words, utterly meaningless, but entertaining nonetheless.

 

So Tara just dropped her masterpiece into the world, then disappeared into the ether, never to be heard from again. She's the JD Salinger of shitty slash fics.

 

On this one ocassion...