My Immortal (THE ONE FANFIC TO RULE THEM ALL)

You can't have a fanfic section without this piece of Internet infamy!

"My Immortal is a Harry Potter-inspired fanfiction that is centered around Ebony “Enoby” Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way, a 17-year-old vampire who attends the “Hogwarts School” in England. Upon its digital publication in 2006, the story became notoriously known as “the worst fanfiction ever written” for its large number of spelling and grammatical errors, as well as unwarranted depictions of sexual acts and allusions to popular emo rock bands such as My Chemical Romance and Evanescence. As a result, My Immortal has led to a series of copycat fanfictions and dramatic readings of the original manuscript." ~ Know Your Meme

LINKS:
http://www.myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6829556/1/My-Immortal (REUPLOAD BY ANOTHER USER)

 

This began my fascination with the sublimely awful, and, therefore, meeting this community.

Thank you, Miss Gilesbie, no matter where you are and what your real name and purpose was.

 

My favourite insults from that fic are "mediocre dunces" and "horny simpletons".

 

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

 

This. Is. AMAZING.

Spoiler

Hi my name is Pepe Willy Elmo CWC Luke and I have pretty deserving hungry hair ( that's how I got my name ) with desperate streaks and hellish tips that reaches my mid-back and anxious worried eyes like limpid sauce and a lot of people tell me I look like George Clooney ( AN : if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here. I'm not related to Sylvester Stallone but I wish I was because he's a major announcing hottie. I'm a pencil but my teeth are graceful and uppity. I have warm squishy skin. I'm also a phone, and I go to a shiny school called Microsoft in Glasgow where I'm in the seventh year ( I'm seventeen. I'm a book ( in case you couldn't tell ) and I wear mostly dusty. I love William's Acer and I buy all my shoe from there. For example today I was wearing a terrible sock with tight gloves around it and a round aged boot, impressing scarf and long short hat. I was wearing tall lipstick, rough foundation, hollow eyeliner and lean eye shadow. I was walking outside Arthur. It was polishing and bringing so there was no table, which I was very happy about. A lot of coathangers stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

" Hey Pedro shouted a voice. I looked up. It was. Vin Diesel

What's up Bruce I asked.

Nothing he said very.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

 

My life has new meaning.

Spoiler

Hi my name is Jonathan Samuel Seabury Alexanderington IV and I have long ebony black hair ( that's how I got my name ) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid Fruitopia and a lot of people tell me I looklike John Stamos ( AN : if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here. I'm not related to Sigmund Freud but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year ( I'm seventeen. I'm a goth ( in case you couldn't tell ) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black One Ring with matching Frock around it and a black leather Glasses, pink Socks and black combat Trilby. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyelinerand red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

" Hey Hestia shouted a voice. I looked up. It was. Terry Gilliam

What's up Pmurt I asked.

Nothing he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!

Ahh, this takes me back. Also, I'm pretty sure that "Ebony Way" is one of the missing read out on the radio in the last Harry Potter film, as a tribute to this, the Sonichu of fanfic.

 

lol

Spoiler

Hi my name is Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger Nigger and I have niggered niggered niggered hair ( that's how I got my name ) with niggered streaks and niggered tips that reaches my mid-back and niggered niggered eyes like limpid nigger juice and a lot of people tell me I look like Freedman Ali ( AN : if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here. I'm not related to Uncle Tom Obama but I wish I was because he's a major niggering hottie. I'm a nigger but my teeth are niggered and niggered. I have niggered niggered skin. I'm also a nigger, and I go to a niggered school called Nigger in Nigger where I'm in the seventh year ( I'm seventeen. I'm a nigger ( in case you couldn't tell ) and I wear mostly niggered. I love Nigger Nigger and I buy all my nigger from there. For example today I was wearing a niggered coon clothes with niggered chains around it and a niggered niggered rags, niggered handcuffs and niggered niggered hoodie. I was wearing niggered lipstick, niggered foundation, niggered eyeliner and niggered eye shadow. I was walking outside Nigger. It was niggering and niggering so there was no nigger, which I was very happy about. A lot of niggers stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

" Hey Nigger shouted a voice. I looked up. It was. Morgan Mohammed

What's up Barak I asked.

Nothing he said nig.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 

I shouldn't have laughed as something this basic and juvenile as much as I did.

 

"Snap and Loopin were doing it in the hallways, and Dobby was watching!"

 

Spoiler: My Magnum Opus

Hi my name is Krystal Gypsy Moonlight Twilight Sparkle and I have long bleach blond hair ( that's how I got my name ) with white streaks and white tips that reaches my mid-back and watery brown eyes like limpid steak sauce and a lot of people tell me I look like Elton John ( AN : if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here. I'm not related to Billy Joel but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a basic bitch but my teeth are big and snaggle-toothed. I have pale hickied skin. I'm also a whore, and I go to a whore school called For the Un-Carnal Knowledge in North Koreawhere I'm in the seventh year ( I'm seventeen. I'm a stripper ( in case you couldn't tell ) and I wear mostly lingerie. I love Victoria's Secret and I buy all my lingerie from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with white lace around it and a black velvet panties, black garters and ripped cum-stained stockings. I was wearing crimson lipstick, white foundation, silver eyeliner and grey eye shadow. I was walking outside school. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of sluts stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

" Hey Bobby Sue shouted a voice. I looked up. It was. Van Halen

What's up Joan I asked.

Nothing he said happily.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 

Spoiler

Hi my name is Hitler Donald Trump Satan Kiwi Farms Nazi and I have Autistic Racist Triggered hair ( that's how I got my name ) with Non-Binary streaks and Haram tips that reaches my mid-back and Fat Sexy eyes like limpid Trump's Golden Shower Juice and a lot of people tell me I look like Chris Chandler ( AN : if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here. I'm not related to Jesus Christ but I wish I was because he's a major REEEing hottie. I'm a Harambe but my teeth are childish and financially incompetent. I have Trans* Gender nonconforming skin. I'm also a hamburger, and I go to a salty school called Tumblr in McDonald's where I'm in the seventh year ( I'm seventeen. I'm a Electoral College ( in case you couldn't tell ) and I wear mostly Democratic. I love Sonichu Rosechu and I buy all my Girl-Penis from there. For example today I was wearing a Infected Un-Clit with Cum-Covered Muscle Bra around it and a XXX Rated Phat Swastika Armband, Pickle Scented Toupee and Crispy Crunchy Nipple Tassle. I was wearing Thirsty lipstick, Slutty foundation, Exceptional eyeliner and Red, White and Blue eye shadow. I was walking outside Florida. It was Literally Shaking and Triggering so there was no Brony, which I was very happy about. A lot of Pizza Gate Victims stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

" Hey Ted Cruz shouted a voice. I looked up. It was. Marco Rubio

What's up JULAAAAY I asked.

Nothing he said Sideways.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

 

Didn't My Immortal turn out to be fake? I remember hearing something about the author ripping their selfies from unrelated MySpace accounts.

 

I know a lot of awful fanfics have turned out to be trollfics, but unless I am mistaken no definitive proof has been found that this one is. The most convincing proof I've seen is how Tara once mentions Tom Bombadil, a rather obscure LOTR character that someone as illiterate as her would be very unlikely to know. But it could still be simply that she (or Raven) heard the name somewhere and got it mixed up with Tom Riddle.

Great, I am sexually excited now. BRB fapping.

 

Also the malapropisms, like Snap and Loopin masticating, Draco putting his eructation in Enoby, another character losing their virility, and the fact that as it goes on the quality of spelling and grammar nosedives. I think it's troll.

 

The author does have a tumblr. I think it's dead though. http://taragillespie.tumblr.com/
Not entirely sure if it's legit.

Spoiler: Taken from her blog, Insight about "Raven"

Where to begin. It’s been a long time since I’ve talked about her. She was something in my past that I’d like to try and forget. “Raven” was not her real name. I’m not going to say her real name, just in case she ever finds my tumblr blog. I just don’t want to deal with her.

Raven and I went to the same middle school. She and I did not know each other during the first year at that school. Before I had met Raven I was a very sheltered kid, and didn’t really have many friends. I only knew at the time that she was the scary looking girl in the school who always wore black.

Now at the time I was very much a fan of Harry Potter (the movies), and often doodled pictures of the characters in my note book. Raven walked by my desk one day and noticed them.

“Oh my Goth! You like Harry Potter?! Tommy F (Tom Felton) is such a hottie!”

From that moment on, Raven had became my best friend. She was the reason why I got into my Goth phase. She introduced me to Good Charlotte, MCR, and other things that would be mentioned in the fan fiction later on.

My whole appearance changed by the time I was in 7th grade. Soon the bright and colorful clothes in my closet had slowly turned into dark and black. MANY trips to Hot Topic were made that year. I was soon consumed by the look and style of the Goth world.

Raven and I used to hang out in her basement quite often. I can still remember the old television set and the blue beanbag chairs that her and I used to lounge on. I don’t know why she wanted to hang out in her basement all the time. I think she wanted to get away from her mom. They did not really get along with each other.

We would both do stupid things on weekends, like putting pieces of tape on our eyebrows, and overfill our slurpy cups at the nearest gas station. During the week when we went to school we would constantly talk shit about the “preps” in classes.

“They just don’t understand us Tara. Those assholes can all eat shit.”

In 2006 Raven started telling me of this wonderful web site called Fan Fiction.net, and had told me that this was the perfect way for me to showcase my ideas for the next Harry Potter film.

Raven had helped me with spelling and grammar mistakes (to the best of her ability) and in exchange she wanted me to include a character based on her named Willow.

By the time we reached the 15th chapter, I had learned that Raven was dating a guy who lived in the town next to ours. I started to see her less and less as days went by. And even when I did hang with her, all she would talk about was how her boyfriend was SO perfect. She even said that the stars themselves predicted that him and her would meet and be together forever. I was getting sick of it, but seeing that she was the only friend I had, I still talked her.

I received a phone call from her one day. It went like this:

Tara: Hello?

Raven: Hey Tara, its Raven.

Tara: I’ve been trying to get a hold of you lately, but you haven’t been answering my calls.

Raven: I know…

Tara: And I may be wrong but, are you TRYING to avoid me at school? What’s going on?

Raven: We can’t hang out anymore.

Tara: Why not? (My voice became softer here)

Raven: My boyfriend told me that you are bad news, and that I shouldn’t hang out with you anymore.

Tara: What?? How am I a bad person? (My heart sank. I had met her boyfriend a few times before. Not really a nice guy.)

Raven: He thinks that you got the hots for me, and he is very protective. As soon as he told me I started to realize how you always give me weird sexual hugs.

Tara: That’s not true Raven! I’ve been your friend longer than this guy has known you. Who are you honestly going to believe? Your best friend or some guy that you’ve only known for a month?!

Raven: He is not JUST some guy! He is my everything! And I prefer “quality” in a person, rather than how long I’ve known them.

Tara: Please don’t do this to me Raven; I’m your best friend… (I was tearing up).

Raven: I gotta go. Don’t ever call me again.

The phone call ended there.

I cried myself to sleep that night. I had lost my best friend. My only friend…

I decided to continue the fan fiction on my own, excluding Willow from the story as well.

The whole bit with me telling everyone that Raven stole my poster was a complete lie. I didn’t want anybody to know the truth. Still, there were times when I felt sorry for Raven, and how she was brainwashed by this guy. It was at those times when I would occasionally let Willow into the story (With not that much to do anyway).

Since that incident with her, I have always feared abandonment. Even the mere thought of it makes me cry a little sometimes.

I’ve recently heard that she is still with the same guy. That him and her are going to get married soon.

I don’t like to talk about her. But since she was a major force behind My Immortal, I thought that my fans on tumblr and beyond deserved to know the truth about her.

Hope that this answers people’s questions.

She also states on her blog that she wants/wanted to be a professional author. All I can say is . Her grammar/spelling is still kind of shit.