Michael Hirtes / Mhirtes / DILDO_ON_FOREHEAD / @TheRealCWC93 (FUCK OFF CHRIS!)

Lived long enough that he has become the thing he despises most.

 

Did you ever hear of the tragedy of Mike Hirtes the unwise? It's not a story the Kiwis would tell you. It's an A-Log legend.

 

It's a term that was once used to refer to A-Logs, since the original A-Log wrote a series of fanfiction stories where his OC would have sex with cartoon characters with his 'Six-inch fox-dick'. I guess at some point people starting using it to refer to Kiwi Farms users, basically saying that all of them are A-Logs.

Why Hirtes uses it? He says he's been involved in the community for at least five years. He might have been around during the period where it was commonly used, and now continues to use it despite the fact that many people have stopped using it.

 

Oh boy...why did I ask?
What is with these furries? Actually it kind of surprises me Chris isn’t part of that fandom. Maybe when he gets a little older.

 

You seem to forget that Chris used to search for Pokemon porn and place the pictures he found in Sonichu.

 

Furries have a habit of deflecting their fetishes off of someone like Chris, People like Hirtes, Anthony Loggato, Roketsune, ect. There are furries who will trollshield Hirtes that may come out of the open and dox themselves in the process. "Hey, I have fetishes and all and may have a stash or R34 dog porn in my zipped folder, I might be a tranny and fuck plushies, and I have this thing for diapers and scat, but hey look at Hirtes. He's a scammer!" This is what I call the domino effect. One deviant after another will come and sperg, all we can do is laugh and archive.


Also, just the fact these speds fell for Hirtes's art scams in the first place speaks autism and think Kiwifarms will be a safe haven for them.

 

Hirtes ran an art scam? People fell for it? One of these must be a lie

 

I just found this:
He gets pissed at other apparent scammers.


https://artists-beware.livejournal.com/194614.html (http://archive.is/EUciO)

And yeah, he does: (http://archive.is/L07Di)

 

Ooooh, he scams ARTISTS. I took it as him being the artist who scams patrons

 

Well, Chris's Patreon, but he thinks donating 1 cent is considered scamming.

 

So Hirtes is a scammer eh? Maybe he alwayts hirteses CWC to feel better about himself?

 

That and same reason Eugene Ekaraz mashes his keyboard "CAN SOMEONE PLS KILL CHRIS CHAN??" Whenever Chris posts. They think Chris stole their donations and that getting revenge will help their cause.

 

"I'M TOTES NOT MAD U GUIZE"

 

No Hirtes, making close to 100 twitter accounts and spending years of your life making literally thousands of posts trying to get the attention of Chris-Chan isn't a common problem. Speaking for myself, I made one account, tagged Chris in one tweet then got bored when he didn't respond, and he still paid me more attention than Hirtes.

 

I love that, in the same paragraph, he whined about people bringing up his "ancient" history at the same time he brings up Chris' "ancient" history.

 

Sometimes I think we're going overboard with documenting Hirtes' wacky antics.

 

As far as I can tell, we're (we being Reverie) really not. Mostly it's just typing Chris's name into the Twitter search bar and posting tweets made by a Hirtes alt which tags Chris onto this thread. Or posting something someone posted on KF onto here. So, probably 90% of this stuff was found using basic searches on two websites. The real problem is that so much content can be found like that.

 

Well, this site and the cwcwiki were built around a pants shitting autistic...

 

Welcome to Hirtewiki.club

Following Chris is entertaining and funny. Theres nothing humorous in Hirtes' cringey existence, it's all sad desperation.