Legal Jail of Fail

We already had Chris tell a judge "I won't feel safe until I have my Legos." We simply need to see how stupider it gets on September. Just imagine a ween or the gunt going there to try and get a shot with Chris only for Chris to find ways to screw up before the judge.

 

To be fair, it seems like most observers from Christory who went to any of his hearings have been well behaved and quiet, as to not draw attention to themselves.

 

It's a court of law, so if anyone was disruptive they'd be held in contempt and removed.
There are deputies providing security, so don't even think about trying to get close to a defendant or witness in court.
That said, most courts are open to the public when in session, especially local courts.

 

You pretty much hit the nail on the head of why it would be hella stupid for weens to be all "HERP DE DERP, IMMA GO TO THE COURT AND YELL JULLAY AT CHRIS OR TALK ABOUT THE MERGE TO FREAK HIM OUT!"

 

They have been, but those were much simpler times and Chris wasn't as widely known as he is now.

 

Weren't Chris's public defenders for the blarms a little on the confrontational side? There was a report that one of them approached an attendee of one of the hearings in high dudgeon all like "Why do you care so much?"

One wonders how Heilberg will handle it.

 

I'm kinda curious as well. I'm almost certain that people have clued him in about Chris' notoriety by now. I'm sure the dude has no idea what to make of it all.

 

Heiberg definitely knows about Chris's notoriety and addressed the fact that there are all kinds of wild rumors about Chris on the internet.
IANAL but it's up to the judge about letting the public into the court room while it's in session.
Lawyers who are following the case on KF predict there will be a plea deal. If there's no trial Chris could spend minimal time in court.
They could also do the hearings on Zoom due to COVID, which could be open to the public as well (there was a lolcow on KF who had a court appearance on Zoom, and people in his thread watched the Zoom call). I assume the rules around this varies by state and the judge has discretion as to what he wants to do.

 

"Your honor, I'd like to put to bed the silly rumor that my client had a potential girlfriend stolen away from him by a....." *checks notes* "....Man wearing a pickle suit...."

 

LOL, I meant wild rumors about Chris and Barb

 

Oh, I know, but the thought of Heiberg rattling off the "greatest hits" of Chris' life makes me cackle.

 

@Cyan

 

Cue the Benny Hill music.

 

One CWCki consultation later:

 

"Here's the best part. On the way out my field agent was confronted by some lady. She asked the field agent what they were doing there and what their name was. She said she was a reporter. My field agent was like "yeah I'm not telling you that". She shifted tone and said she just wanted to buy my field agent a cup of coffee and hear his story...:stupid: She wanted to know why a community of people on the internet literally document everything in his life. An interview was declined..."

That was the "Good Samaritan" woman that was speculated about. The one who talked to Chris by his car.

 

I feel like it would be like the narrative device for the majority of Persona 5. We have our protagonist telling a lawyer about some alternate reality where he is super-powerful and doing magic shit with made-up spirits, but stupider. And that bring me back to my point..........

Even Shin Megami isn't safe from Chris. Inb4 I get crucified for being a Persona 5 fan lol.

 

Chris Chan in SMT when? All seriousness, just imagining the court room, I can only imagine the lawyers and the judge having a stone face as they could recall shit Chris had such as the love quest or trolls like the man in the pickle suit.

 

Imagine a Persona 5 sequel where the Metaverse has a special CWCville Palace for Chris. Let's not act like we wouldn't play it lol.