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The Maradonia Saga

Discussion in 'Books' started by One Too Many, Jul 2, 2017.

  1. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    It all started with Sonichu 11. On page 80 there's an ad for Waterman's rom hacks, one of them was something called Sonichu in Maradonia. Alright, what the hell is this, I though to myself, so I looked it up thinking it might be some sort of mundane reference to a t.v. show no one cared about; I couldn't have been more wrong. Maradonia is a book series written and self-published (with the help of her wealthy parents) by Gloria Tesch, a teenager with all the ego of Chris Chan and half the writing talent (seriously, some of the passages read like a person with English as a second language). The more you research the series the more absurd everything becomes, take this official "book trailer" for incidence; who thought this was a good idea?

     
  2. Uncle Frank

    Uncle Frank Occasionally slips through the cracks

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    Wasn't there going to be a movie?
     
  3. Duhtay Wodes

    Duhtay Wodes The Uh-Mehwican Dwe-yum

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    Isn't Tesch one of the people that Kengle is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too obsessed with?
     
  4. Corgi

    Corgi Friendly Forum Fiend Staff Member Moderator

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    There is one!
    And it's as amazing as you can imagine. It also makes for a good drinking game...well if you have a death wish that is.
     
  5. Liquid Squirtle

    Liquid Squirtle Still Shitposting on the Moon Staff Member Administrator

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    If you do this as a drinking game, you will die.

    That said, the poorly greenscreened floating sword at the end is responsible for me laughing the hardest I ever have in my entire life. Like I nearly passed out from laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. It's a legitimate cure for depression it's so amazingly bad.
     
  6. Another Fellow

    Another Fellow the unwanted one

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    I need to know what Gerry Tesch was on when he decided that the last shot should be
    [​IMG]And also how the actor agreed to deepthroating a snake on camera, but I figured if he agreed to do Maradonia, he probably didn't have much dignity to spare anyway.

    Or when they fucked up and switched the placement of actors' names and characters' names in the credits:
    [​IMG]
    The more I think about it, the more I want a book that's to Maradonia as The Disaster Artist is to The Room, some peek into the madness.

    I just wish they'd put in my favorite passage from the book:
    [​IMG]
     
  7. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    Speaking of which, I can't recommend The Disaster Artist enough. The auto-book read by Greg Sestero (Mark) is really well done, his Tommy Wiseau impression is spot on.
     
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  8. Foulmouth

    Foulmouth Suck my cock you faggots

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    Gloria Tesch is awesome and I won't hear a word against her ummmm ...
    I'd do her tbh.
    FuckingSlut.jpg
     
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  9. Hellblazer

    Hellblazer Autism on the rocks Staff Member Administrator Moderator

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    I still haven't seen the whole movie, and feel the appropriate amount of shame.
     
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  10. You're welcome.
     
  11. InklingTits

    InklingTits daddy's inkies

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    I'm about to watch this movie.

    As a drinking game, what are the rules? Ive got more than enough beer here.

    Bring on the fucking alcohol poisoning.
     
  12. Uncle Frank

    Uncle Frank Occasionally slips through the cracks

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    Take a shot whenever there's a bad line of dialogue/monologue.
    Take a shot whenever there's bad acting.
    Take a shot whenever the SFX fuck up.
    Take a shot whenever there is a bad greenscreen.
    Take a shot when something dumb happens.
    Down the whole bottle/can at the end of the movie to finish yourself off.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2017
  13. Another Fellow

    Another Fellow the unwanted one

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    So basically nonstop drinking. Got it.
     
  14. TheVoid

    TheVoid Well-Known Member

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    Here's one simple rule that will get you drunk enough. Take a shot whenever that classic audio error where the noise level changes from shot to shot occurs. It gets really bad during certain scenes with Gloria, as though they turned her mic up a lot when she spoke and the camera was pointed at her, then turned it down for the other actors. So, with Gloria's lines you hear a lot of background noise, in other shots you still hear background noise, but not to the same extent.

    Also, the sword fighting scene had everyone in the chat during the movie night laughing uncontrollably. It's hard to explain why it's so funny, but it's hilarious for all the wrong reasons.
     
  15. MerriedxReldnahc

    MerriedxReldnahc The Gayest Gay Man Who Ever Gayed in CWCville

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    One of my favorite things in the movie other than the scene where the guy shoves a whole snake head in his mouth because evil, is when Gloria first enters Maradonia and acknowledges the background music. I understand that she is supposed to be hearing singing and it's guiding her into the kindgdom or whatever, but to a film viewer it seems that she's becoming aware or her existence trapped inside a bad movie.