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Legal Jail of Fail

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by ToroidalBoat, Aug 5, 2021.

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  1. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    Why haven't we heard from Chris since August 31st roughly in order of probability:

    Chris can’t communicate with the outside world

    Chris is in a psych ward
    Chris is in the hospital
    Chris doesn’t have the resources to write any more letters
    Chris has been ordered to stop writing letters as a part of the case being sealed
    Chris’s lawyer is throwing out his letters
    Chris is dead

    Chris won’t communicate with the outside world
    Chris is unmotivated to write letters and has embraced the rigid uniformity of life in jail
    Chris is depressed, catatonic, or incapable of writing letters because of mental illness
    Chris has no one to write letters to since Kengle left him
    Chris has realized that there’s no point in writing letters
    Chris is in a group home that restricts access to electronics
    Chris has escaped from jail and is in hiding

    Chris has been communicating with one or more private parties

    Chris has simply asked people to not release his letters to the public and they have done so
    One or more private parties are keeping the letters to themselves out of fear of being doxed or exposed for weenish scheming
    Chris is in contact with people who have no interest in posting his letters online such as his therapist, members of his family, or even Barb
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2022
  2. The Scrunkly

    The Scrunkly would YOU scrunkly the when?

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    chris ate all the news from now until next year so sorry
     
  3. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    lol it's like a Fermi paradox
     
  4. Waitin' To Ruin His Fun

    Waitin' To Ruin His Fun OH GOOD, YER BACK

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    There won't be any at this time of year. Chris has been stuffing his fat face on even more prison ramen than usual and has now plugged his arse with a solid accretion of his own poop. He will now hibernate until the Spring thaw.
     
  5. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    Chris may actually be living healthier than ever before now.

    There's basically no one Chris would be communicating with who wouldn't immediately show the world.
     
  6. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    I mean, we have Christian Love Day in February to look forward to, right?
     
  7. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    So chris crashed into slumber with Dirty Crapped Briefs.
     
  8. The Scrunkly

    The Scrunkly would YOU scrunkly the when?

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    It began with shit pants, and it ends with shit pants.
     
  9. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    Yes, it is poetic, isn't it?

    I am reminded of that one flash game "Don't shit your pants" the song that plays at the title screen always plays in my head whenever Chris does something stupid or someone says "He would shit himself and do nothing" like in the old "what if?" thread on the old Cwckiforums.
     
  10. Judgesaturn507

    Judgesaturn507 rambling without substance

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    It’s like poetry, it rhymes, or however that George Lucas quote goes.
     
  11. SonichuShoes

    SonichuShoes Well-Known Member

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    JailArt9-19-22.jpg
    Out of everything he has to worry about right now, it's hard to believe that Chris is still hung up on some DVDs he gave Megan over a decade ago.
     
  12. Ms. Mowz

    Ms. Mowz My likes mean absolutely nothing!

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    Can somebody here give a transcript for this? I've already had my fill of massive walls of text after reading Sonichu.
     
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  13. Judgesaturn507

    Judgesaturn507 rambling without substance

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    2006 Chris says to his 2022 self:
    'So, let me get this straight. You are the future version of my 1218 Earth self-counterpart, and still God.
    And you are a transwoman, thus putting my homophobia at a moot point?
    I still can't get over how sexy and awesome you are... or rather, I will be, or something.'

    Something something Chris and his ego.

    'And Megan swindled and manipulated you out of all those purchases. And from late 2007 to 2021, nine people took advantage of you from the internet, pretending to be women interested in you.
    Those MALES pretending to be women...
    that baffles me, but still ticked off.
    You're married with Magi-Chan and Mewtwo and Silvana and Cryzel, and I end up a single parent of two kids?
    On one hand, by my return to 2010, I'll have dodged many bullets: on the other, my love life is self'.

    No idea what that last part means. Pretty much all Future Self does is agree with past Chris, but clarifying that some of the trolls were women.
     
  14. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    Looks like there's another large batch of Jail drawings as recent as 11/26 confirming he is still incarcerated at Central Virginia Regional Jail
     
  15. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    Chris has had a lot of time to reflect on the past, huh?
     
  16. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    Chris reflecting on the past involves thick rose colored glasses, untainted nostalgia, what little brain power he has left all filtered through that Teflon ego of his.
     
  17. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    Since Chris is still in jail do you guys thing his case is going forward as a felony?
     
    Judgesaturn507 and Ms. Mowz like this.
  18. The Scrunkly

    The Scrunkly would YOU scrunkly the when?

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    It would be sad if he didn't fuck his mom.
     
  19. Congratulations

    Congratulations You like? Staff Member Moderator

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    He probably doesn't have much else to do besides re-reading the bible and scribbling his delusions on paper
     
  20. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    Especially since he doesn't have rec room privileges anymore
     
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