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Meta Chris' True and Honest D&D Characture Sheet (roll for autism)

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by One Too Many, Jan 31, 2020.

  1. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    I think Chris just wanted to worship himself and have divine powers being the goddess he believes he is. Even though... the whole point of the cleric is you worship a higher power. Of course, Chris can't fathom a power being higher than him.

    He also doesn't seem to understand that D&D is supposed to be cooperative and not competing to be the best person in the party. This is a common beginner mistake though.

    Also, the thing about D&D is that it is all about being all that you can't be including trying on roles and personalities different from yourself. I noticed this is a common issue with people who started playing D&D recently in that they just want to live vicariously through their character and they want them to be just like them, but with special powers and as a result, hate it when anything bad happens to their character.
     
  2. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    Elsewhere I mentioned that Chris seems to think the ultimate power level is like that of a deity of Greek mythology, Superman, or maybe even a weaker comic book superhero like Spider-Man. Conceiving of power beyond that - like one may see in SF, not even true omnipotence - would likely fry what's left of his TV-fried brain.
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2022
  3. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    can confirm. I actually prefer social characters to OP DPS and its surprising how salty the autismos get when they look up from their microdick triple damage numbers and see I have thousands of NPCs to call on to get shit done. Leadership can be fucking broken in D&D.
     
  4. Cyan

    Cyan #00FFFF Staff Member B& AF, Fam Moderator

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    I just can't get past this detail.
    Okay, so we're correcting this because movement speed has to be divisible by five so it's getting rounded to 3,735 ft. Chris, on his turn in combat, gets to move his sonichu character 474 spaces. This is absolutely useless in a dungeon, will result in his character probably receiving an attack of opportunity from every enemy on the map, and also makes the other players wait while he sits there and counts out his character moving across 474 tiles, assuming Chris even has the attention span to count that high.
     
  5. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    I think it was on KF awhile back: someone mentioned that tripping up or stumbling at that speed wouldn't be pretty.

    But "Honor Roll" didn't think of that - he just wanted an overpowered "Gary Stu" with no flaws.
     
  6. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    Yup. in a 20x20 ft room all that extra movement is going to me next to useless. You're going to trigger every trap, fall into every pit, and constantly be rankled at having to travel at the speed of your comrades. Its going to be completely useless in small maps, in the air, or in water. Since he didn't pick any acrobatic feats he's got no ability to dodge Attacks of opportunity. While that movement speed might seem busted, its just asking for trouble.
    From the look of his build he can do 3 things: Gotta go fast, cast a lot of spells, and and duel wield swords. Speed as we mentioned is a double edge sword at best. Duel wielding swords on a cleric is... okay but he's not optimized for it. Rangers are okay, but it doesn't look like he selected a favored enemy type so no clue what he was going with. Even then, duel wielding is hardly the best part about being a ranger. And spells? we don't see them, but I imagine chris went with the noob choices of Damage spells and healing magic.
    What we have here is a noobie battle cleric with extreme speed and homebrew magic items.
     
  7. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    If Chris were asked which chess piece best represented him, he'd like derp with something like "hmm yeah a teleporting queen that can move like all da pieces and mega evolve; among which".

    That's what that D&D sheet reminds me of.
     
  8. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    That's an accurate description. its chris trying to feel like the super special because he can't envision himself as anything other than sonichu or the goddess of all reality. If he's gotta be just like everyone else, its like submerging his feet in acid. he can't stand it.
     
  9. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    Just how is it that someone can get so extremely egotistical?

    I guess it's severe autism, that American Rabbit movie, and Borb coddling that started it.
     
  10. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    Yeah, that is another thing, why would you need that much move speed? Even if the fight happened in an open area what would you use it for? Run away? If you run away and leave members behind, you risk getting caught with more enemies or something. Yeah, it is really impratical. Especially since out of combat, move speed doesn't really matter that much.
     
  11. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    gotta go fast

    way past cool

    chili dogs...
     
  12. Dunsparce

    Dunsparce Out of Control

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    Why not both? Depending on the edition played, one could potentially fit both into one build without compromising the effectiveness of either side.

    His character isn't very good, honestly. I've been in D&D games were every single member of the party could outshine his character both in and out of combat, even though they are all playing within the rules of the game unlike his self-insert and are all of a much lower level.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2022
  13. Judgesaturn507

    Judgesaturn507 rambling without substance

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    Of course, if his character is ever in trouble he’ll just claim god powers to get out of the situation.
     
  14. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    Also, chris made a small error when calculating his speed. He wrote down what a sonichu can RUN in a round. Running requires a full round action and is... well, in older editions x4 your normal movement speed (or x5 with the Run feat). That makes his character's movement 934 feet per round. Still absurd movement for a single creature but then again chris's knowledge of the game is about as solid as his math skills.
     
  15. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    Of course, he will pull stuff out of his ass that is not on his sheet hoping the DM doesn't call him out which he/she will
     
  16. Waitin' To Ruin His Fun

    Waitin' To Ruin His Fun OH GOOD, YER BACK

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    I seem to remember @YamchasOnlyFan or someone on the thread on this subject on KF stating that the best way round that would be to sit Chris down before gaming, go through every one of his character's skills and magic items in painstaking detail, establish precisely what each can do, and then take a copy each. And then hold Chris to his bullshit when he tries to add new bullshit to it.

    Oh, what a beautiful image!

    *Chris powers up his Sonichu abomination*

    'Gotta go FAST!!!'

    *Chris's Sonichu abomination runs at extremely high leg-speeds across the dungeon: the opposition simply holds out swords, clubs, scythes, axes, flails, spears, halberds, large rocks, big pointy sticks*

    *Chris's Sonichu abomination slams repeatedly into these utensils for WAY PAST COOL amounts of HP damage*
     
  17. Judgesaturn507

    Judgesaturn507 rambling without substance

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    ‘I’m Jesus! Your argument is invalid!’
     
  18. YamchasOnlyFan

    YamchasOnlyFan Wolf Fang Whatever

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    I think that was the other guy I was talking to a lot in that thread. And honestly it would be the only way to deal with such a collossal tard at the gaming table. However I kow chris would tune most of that out and try to create a 'Sonichu' skill that allows him to be great at everything.
     
  19. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat ¿qué?

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    Or even better: not invite Chris in the first place?
     
  20. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    It would definitely be a good "that guy" story for anyone who is at the table