Twitter 2/24/2019 Christian love day

Notice the fridge. Look how full of crap it is that's obviously chris's. Barb got out of her stupor long enough to combe her hair and put on a clean shirt.

 

Chris is 37


Hey, at least Barb is still kicking it.

 

Did he ever figure out that speech just plagiarizes Independence Day? Also, will he put his bare ass on that cake and fart on it?

 

Barb looks surprisingly well

 

Cake Analysis

The frosting is even, piped nicely, and the decoration is evenly spread. This was made with tools that professional bakers have, and skill. We know Barb hasn’t cooked in almost two decades, and pictures from Chris’s previous birthdays show either a square cake from a store or a simpler cake without the piped decoration.
Barb did not make this cake.

The color scheme is completely random and off. The cake is pink, but the accent is blue. This ~maybe~ works for a gender reveal cake because it had pink and blue but the inside would only be one, but for any other occasion it’s off. The hearts cannot be explained. The yellow goes with the blue for Sonichu and Chris’s favorite colors and the pink because girl now, but the orange and green have never been recorded to have any significance to Chris. It can’t represent the Chaotic Combo because purple and red is missing, and Magi-Chan is a pretty important member of the Combo. This color scheme is ugly and not something a baker would make for general display.
This cake was not taken from the shelf of a bakery.

This cake was:
A) A costom cake where the colors were selected by Barb or Chris and made by a professional baker, most likely Wal-Mart of Food Lion’s bakery department.
B) Made from a friend/neighbor of Chris who is an amateur baker.

 

I agree - a professional (or a skilled amateur) made that cake. I don't know how many friends the Chandlers have, I'm pretty sure no one who lives in their neighborhood wants anything to do with them, but unless one of Chris's LGBTQ friends does cake decorating as a hobby, yeah, it's probably from a local grocery store's bakery that Chris custom ordered.

 

It must be hard living in the chandler household when even barbs face is rejecting her

 

Yeah, Chris looks pretty normal, if slightly geeky, as a teenager in his birthday pics.

When Chris turned 18 (in 2000) he had his gal pals over and they watched Goodburger.

 

Chris was 24 when he graduated from PVCC (with a two year degree which took him five years to get)
Chris was 25 when he had to deal with death for the first time (his dog Patti)
Chris was 26 when he took pictures of himself nude and sent them to strangers over the internet for the first time
Chris was 27 when he drank alcohol for the first time
Chris was 28 when he first started cross-dressing
Chris was 29 when he hit a man with his car (((Michael Snyder)))
Chris was 30 when he lost his virginity (reportedly with a hooker)
Chris was 32 when he got arrested for assault
Chris was 35 when he got "married" (sorry to break it to you guys but waifus aren't real)

 

Slow down, I'll get the coke.

 

And that is the damn highlight of his entire life. Of his “adult” life anyway. Winning the stupid Sonic Says contest is still probably the overall highlight.

 

Chris is like a planet that finally evolves sentient life when its' star is dying.

 

Did anyone assume that?

 

Chris' sperm cell was also the first to make it to the egg.

 

Bahahahaha true never thought of it. So take old man spunk, Barbs decrepit eggs and add in plenty of booze and you get our favorite mutant.

 

This is poetry

 

Why god why do I visit this forum during lunch...

 

There's no symptoms of addiction if I recall but maybe someone with medical experience would be a better judge of that than me