Twitter 2/24/2019 Christian love day

But where could Chris go to get this custom cake. Because I seriously can't think of any store that hasn't banned him yet.

 

He could have ordered it from someone who has a cake decorating side business, or someone who is still on speaking terms with Chris did it in exchange for something.

I don't know how many stores Chris has been banned from, but I'm sure there are at least a few grocery stores where Chris isn't persona non grata yet.

 

It's easy to get a cheap custom cake. most grocery stores have a bakery and you can ask to have it frosted in one way or another. He probably got it at Food Lion or some other chain store. They're like 99% sugar so its right up chris's alley.

 

Yeah, I don't think he's been banned from Food Lion. I'm not familiar with that particular store chain because they don't have them where I live, but it wouldn't surprise me if they had a bakery that takes custom orders.

It's been years since I've had a custom cake for a birthday, but Chris's cake looks nicer than the ones I had as a kid, usually just a stock design and the person's name on the cake.

 

I've never heard of Publix going past NC either and the ones I've seen there tend to be in more urban areas too so I highly doubt it's there even if VA has a few Publix stores built

 

The cake chris got seems fairly stock, the hearts look like leftover valentine decorations the bakery had laying around and the rest is rather simple frosting patterns. This could have been done in about 5 minutes.

And on the topic of being banned, I'd kinda wonder what chris could do to get banned from a grocery store. I don't count Walmart as a grocery store despite some recent changes in their inventory, but that'd be some sort of tard medal of achievement to get banned from a place you enter with all the enthusiasm of going to a bank.

 

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too, about being banned from a grocery store. I honestly don't know what Chris likes to eat, but he seems to like easy to make foods and has the palate of a six year old, unless he had a fit because they ran out of something he wanted to buy and he had a tantrum like a two year old, or he tried to shoplift, or harass customers or employees, I see no reason why they'd ban him.

 

This thread is now The Official CWCki Club Cake Thread.

 

Former retail drone chiming in with autistic details. Part of that horrible time was spent in a Walmart Supercenter with a bakery. I am sure grocery store bakeries have similar (if not superior) capabilities.

Can confirm, that cake is 99% sugar.

My store's bakery could indeed make cakes very much like the one pictured in this thread and this was... so long ago because I am an oldfag. And they weren't very expensive either, at least not compared to the similar cakes they would put in the case for sale every day. And fancier cakes are trendier now so I'm sure it's well in line with any chain store's capabilities.

In fact the people who actually worked in the bakery would be giddy to make cakes like these because it was one of the few times they got to do something that was creative and actually something like baking. It was about the only part of their job where they weren't bound to strictly follow a corporate guideline for how it should look exactly.

I always felt so sorry for them, they got that job because they liked baking but "baking" at a Walmart 99% consists of thawing out a frozen mix that came in on a truck and pouring it into a machine that's already rigged to cook it with perfect uniformity every time. Seriously a pumpkin pie at Wal-Mart is from a frozen crust from a box filled with a carefully measured cup of a pre-made pumpkin mix and popped into an oven that sort of reminded me of the ones you see in a Papa John's or something.

In short, it was not like a real bakery because of so much emphasis on labor saving and consistency across the chain versus actual quality. And bear in mind my store was better than most because the ladies who worked in the bakery cared a lot more than Wal-Mart did, but they weren't miracle workers. Everything they made tasted like chemicals and sugar crystals.

I was given to understand the chain grocery stores (Kroger, etc.) are usually a bit better. That wouldn't surprise me. To be fair the local state-wide chain grocery store I go to puts out much nicer baked goods than Wal-Mart.

 

NO SHIT IS TO MINOR!

 

You know you live in a podunk town if your grocery is a Food Lion. They all closed down in Florida because they were bleaching their meat ...and because Publix.

 

more of a reason for chris to shop there.

 

I always hate going to birthday parties where they serve these peasant cakes. Especially for adults, what adult wants to eat this garbage? Enjoy your diabetes. You know Chris are every bite of that cake and probably washed it down with an orange Fanta.

 

Before I heard of CWC, I didn't even know "Food Lion" was a thing.

 

Same here, but from that I've heard its only a step above getting your groceries at the dollar store.

 

The real tragedy of this kind of shit is that with just a little more care, the cake could be respectable, and in some cases some chain stores actually do make a decent enough cake that doesn't cost any more than any of the others. I mean bloody hell, I'm an idiot in the kitchen and I can make a basic cake from a boxed mix or even a simple cake from scratch. But that would involve actually letting your employees crack eggs and use a mixer and we can't have that, that actually depends just a little bit on human effort.

I don't get you Big Box Bakery, you sell all the shit to make a cake on your shelves, just divert some of it to your bakery and do it properly.

Well, I know why they don't do it, they'd have to pay their employees another $1 an hour and most people are so used to processed sugar-coated Styrofoam they wouldn't appreciate the difference anyway.

What a fucking terrible and accurate analog for so much of Chris' life and how badly his parents failed him.

 

So you're saying Chris is 99% processed sugars that came out of a shitty a box? China

 

I’ve been to Food Lions when I was in the southeast US.
It’s your standard big grocery store, like Stop and Shop in the northeast or WynCo in the west.

 

To me it was on the same level as Albertsons (who started getting shut down here in Florida when some stores had rat problems if I recall). Typically trashier clientele than Publix but higher prices (go figure).

 

Can't wait to see what he pulls out for the big 40