Twitter 9/21 - How to grow larger breasts

Works great if you can ignore the ballooning belly.

Edit: larger breasts and larger the rest of you.

man this one writes itself

 

How did Chris get on the honor roll again?

 

The next kidney stone is going to be epic.

 

And Chris will post a blissfully ignorant tweet about it, complete with smiley emoticons.

 

Pretty sure it's not the soy sauce that's helping you bulk up those moobs...

Also, I'm pretty sure the bouquet of smells that comes from a person who bathes once every lunar cycle and eats a fistful of prunes and slathers his fast food with soy sauce can only be described in words best not uttered by mortal beings.

 

he probably has the smell equivalent of the deadlights

 

Usually I'd post a "snarky" comment about how Chris is a moron but all I can really say is:

 

Moobs =/= breasts

 

Well that explains the pants shitting

 

Kengles, bless his heart, trying to give Chris some FYI, only for Chris to do the standard "LA LA LA LA, CAN'T HEAR YOU" Rebuttal.

 

Eating prunes (as long as he's drinking water too) is probably one of the smarter things he could do diet-wise. Dousing your salty ass fried carbs in soy sauce is a little less smart.

#goesdownsalty

 

Soy sauce on fries? Jesus christ chris that's a heart attack eating to happen. Chris says there's no salt on those fries but I zoomed in, I can see salt, or what looks like salt. I know people have died from drinking soy sauce shots due to the sheer amount of sodium intake, causing cardiac arrest, and I know this isn't quite at that level but damn this makes it very, VERY clear chris does not know or care about proper nutrition. Even reduced sodium soy sauce has a lot of sodium in it, and excess sodium hardens arterial cholesterol and raises blood pressure.

Say hello to that stroke/heart attack that's building up for me, chris.

 

Did he just call MickeyD's fries "chips?"

 

It's impressive how ignorant Chris can be about his weight and diet.

An homage to his British ancestry no doubt.

 

Oh god I'm spitting my drink at Ken's post. Holy shit how can someone so boring be so fucking funny

 

He mentioned that chris is retaining water, well that won't end well.

 

Given the abysmal quality of food that Chris eats (namely that which is high fat and low fiber such as these particular fried potatoes, and he seems to eat (drink) a lot of caffeinated beverages, white bread, and highly processed food in general), part of me wonders if the dozen prunes isn't some unconscious remedy he has resorted to in some twisted effort to keep his digestive tract from simply imploding under the strain.