My Inner Life

(In all honesty, we should just create a manwithoutabody thread.)

My Inner Life isn't the craziest fanfiction ever , at least, perhaps, if you aren't intimately familiar with Legend of Zelda. Link's Queen just happened to be the firstest with the mostest. As in, back in the Internet's infancy:

"Oh, look, the Internet, an exciting new medium, even if the boundaries and ramifications of privacy, we can't even begin to understand. What should we do?"

"IMMA WRITE MY FUCKFICTION AND SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD DON'T CRITICIZE WHY ARE YOU CRITICIZING STOP IT."

 

Their use of the term "queer" makes me think it doesn't mean what they think it means. Occasionally they use it in proper context, but it feels like they just discovered the word in the thesaurus and are trying to use it as often as possible.

 

Its not a magic spice it doesn't make everything special

 

Goddammit, I always manage to forget that this fucking thing exists for a year or two before someone reminds me.

 

I remember me and my best friend/ editor marathoned this monstrosity years ago. Good times.

 

Oh god, this thing. My favorite part is probably her huge A/N ranting about people who have nothing better to do than leave long rants/mean critiques on her fic.

 

I was going to make a thread for this one. It's basically the My Immortal of Zelda fanfiction. The only difference is that we know that the author's serious, which we could only assume with My Immortal.
What I like about the manwithoutabody dramatic reading was the author's notes being long enough to warrant 2 parts. It's pratically it's own fanfiction at that point.

 

This is one of my favorite badfics, but it's not an easy read (and listen, I miss manwithouabody), so I tend to skip around at times. The best thing about it, if you ask me, is the laughable smut, like it's really vanilla, but goddamn does she eek out as much purple prose from that vanilla as she can complete with feline metaphors. I sometimes wonder if Jenna went on, or ever considered to write trashy romance novellas, she'd fit right in.

Oh, and I found a Tumblr blog of someone who's making this into a comic if you want a quick giggle.

 

Yah that's the point when you know you're in for a long read. She also spoils a big chunk of the story in the opening by mentioning her children if memory serves.

 

I'd heard of this story, but never gave it a read until very recently. This is seriously the best thing, everything about the story is so beautifully ridiculous and over the top. Somehow the spelling and grammatical errors sprinkled about make it so much better. The best part by far is when out of nowhere she pulls the "pagan piss drinking sex ritual" thing, I was crying with laughter. I'm not even DONE reading it, so I can't wait to see where it goes from there.

 

Hey, I remember this thing! Don't remember if I read through the whole thing before...

 

Okay, remember that this thread existed, and since YouTube deleted Manwithoutabody / Mutant Museum's channel (thanks, Susan), I'm actually considering doing an MST of this one. Should I go through with this.

 

???

 

Yes!

 

CHAPTER 0: AUTHOR'S RANT NOTES

Wait a minute, how was a complete stranger like me know this? Was I supposed to keep tabs on you like some sort of autistic NSA? I've haven't finished the first paragraph of the author's notes (not even the fanfic), and I'm already getting smacked in the face with this fic's iconic "quality".

Ah man, those N64 polygons forming a guy with no distinguishable personality whatsoever beyond "brave and courageous". Hottest thing ever, man.

Ignoring the feeling I'm getting that you're probably lying about other people liking this unironically (either that or lying to not hurt your feelings), are you sure this isn't wish fulfillment?

But what about the epic CD-i Zelda games? Should I just let @Congratulations decide if those should be canon to the My Inner Life cinematic universe?

Okay then. I can have Ruto, @c-no can have Zelda, @One Too Many can have Malon, and @ToroidalBoat can have Saria.

Wait a minute, when you said "persona", you don't mean...
!!

Guys, I think this might be Jenna's shadow taunting us after receiving a calling card!
Anyways...

Ah yes, the bonding ceremony set up by piss drinking monks. Real disgusting, that bit. Wait a minute, I'm getting ahead of myself here.

You forgot to mention the piss again, just as I have forgotten to not spoil this part again.

Okay, maybe I shouldn't be too concerned with spoiling plot points, because Jenna sure didn't.

Wait hold up, 300 to 350 pages? Just calm down, Jenna.

THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS JENNA ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Woah, woman, I think you might need to go cool off. Probably at the Ice Cavern, by the sound of things.

Don't worry about it, Jenna. I also find it ridiculous that you felt the need to make this rant in the first place.
Fun fact: this is not the end of the rant. It just manages to be long enough that I have to continue it with another post. Seriously.

 

Oh damn, that part of the story was a doozy. I'm not gonna spoil too much, but it also involves them being naked and fucking.

 

Spoiler

(also I forgot who Saria is so I had to look her up)

 

I think my personal theory as to why she fell for Link is it was the closest she had to a sexy elf boy at the time since this was before Orlando Bloom played Legolas and whatnot. That's just my personal theory though.

 

Knowing I get Zelda, I wonder exactly what the fuck we can do with them.

I'm willing tonbet that when people like these polygons, personality ornnot, it's really a deep seated desire to fuck them and have then as a waifu or husbando. Sort of does remind me of that one lady who obsessed over Sephiroth that she got her own ED page.

 

Yeah, that is another thing with characters with no personality, you can make them any personality you want. Though most people imagine Link here as CD-I Link because well, he is quite the himbo in this.