Tweet 3/23 - Chris wants Doopie's company

And here I thought the thirst was already pretty clear.

 

Ironically I was up until one in the morning aswell.

 

Oh Jesus, Chris!

 

This is how horror movies start.

 

"You're in my time zone."
Chris's sweetheart search just expanded to the entire east coast.

 

The sweetheart search went worldwide when he discovered the Internet.

 

Oy, I'm just waiting for some ween to come up with the "LOL, HILARIOUS!" idea to go on twitter and pretend to be a "potential sweetheart" and be all "CHRIS, I'LL TOTES COME HANG OUT WITH YOU!"

 

And once again he's led to a dilapidated building home to an elderly person.

 

Yeah, they'd really drive/fly out to a hick town like Ruckersville just to hang out in a disgusting hovel with the world's creepiest manchild. This is just a case of 'internet hugs.' They forget all about chris the moment they navigate away from twitter/facebook. They don't give a shit about chris.

 

I guess the point I was trying to make was that, it's just as well that the more "serious trolls" stopped doing the whole "Pretending to be a sweetheart that might give Chris China" gimmick, because, after awhile, it stopped being original.

 

If God really did give Chris the Crystal dream, then He'd be the biggest troll.

 

I know Chris is not a serial killer, but that series of Tweets is something that a serial killer would write.

This one is extra funny/disturbing when you realize that there's a subsection of BDSM where the sub acts like a pony and the dom gets on their back and rides them. You can even buy saddles and bridles for this shit, but I'm not putting that into my Google search history just to prove a point.

 

Well this is the same man who created For My Sweetest Ivy...

 

Is this Doopie person some well known Internet personality? Is Chris trying to confirm his place as a "young adult" by liking all the hip things the millennials follow?

 

He sure as hell isnt a millenial, hes a decade older

 

Insert "that's the joke" meme here.

 

Well, after reading Chris' response, I doubt I'll get to sleep anytime before then either.

 

Spoiler: realtalk

One could say Chris is among the first Millennials. Chris was born around the end of Generation X and around the start of Generation Y.