Sonic Sez segments that Chris didn't learn from

“Don’t get caught” is the only rule that really matters.

 

I wonder if the Jail of Fail will push Chris to remember the wisdom of the fast one?

Spoiler

(it's doubtful)

 

He also clearly ignored this one

 

Chris is in the jail of fail because he wasn't the kind of person Sonic wanted him to be (and for having sex with his mom)
that's no good

 

I honestly completely forgotten that I made this thread to begin with.

 

Sonic never did do a Sonic Sez that said “If you try to touch someone in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable, that’s no good.”

 

Yeah, because as we’ve established, kids are much more likely to be victims.

 

Chris is incapable of learning or contemplating morals from shows even on this level of simplicity. He can only comprehend good and evil in terms of "Is this good for me, or not?"

Between that, the obesity, the preference for wearing the color red, and the delusions of grandeur, he's ironically far more like Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik than he'll ever be like Sonic. I mean Chris is creative (To an extent...) and let's face it, he's more decent at drawing and creating things like medallions and sets than most give him credit for. Ever actually try to put up a Lego Set? That shit requires patience, focus, and an ability to follow directions that might as well be from fucking Ikea, I'm genuinely surprised kids play with them at times.

In a timeline where Chris got the help he needed at a young age, I could see him growing into some kind of idiot savant that's actually good at building things, may even be sociopathic enough to be an executive in that field. Sounds like I'm joking, but I'm not. The only reason Chris isn't better at drawing and building is because his ego is too large.

You see, when you talk to seasoned artists/writers/creative types about their own work, they typically hate it or are embarrassed by it. The cliche of the washed up actor watching their best movies going "I was so awesome! Fuck I'm old now!" doesn't really pan out in reality.... As compelling of a character as it makes Bojack Horsemann

And yet strangely, all the artists who are sure of themselves are goofsters who consistently turn in shit work. Look no further than Chris-Chan's own obsession with the blue blur. Two writers, Ian Flynn and Ken Penders, both known for Archie, specifically Flynn's known for everything positive about the book and Ken for most of what's negative... And yet, when you talk to them today, Ian's always going on about how there are some things he could have handled better, that he regrets doing a lot of things like writing Amy Rose as a Sally Acorn replacement instead of letting her be her own character on Sonic Boom and Early IDW, or the awkward bordering-on-offensive way he decided to make Charmy (a teenage prince burdened with responsibility and engaged to a suitor) more like his video game counterpart (a young hyperactive comic relief child who can barely take care of himself) (Age Regression was the obvious right answer, a Brain Damage plot happened instead)

With Ken, everything he did with Knuckles The Echidna is absolutely perfect and he only doesn't work for Archie or Sega anymore because they don't understand his genius.... (Ken Penders is a lolcow and a ride I heavily recommend taking a look at him... He's like if Chris-Chan actually worked for Sega! It's nuts! His take on Knuckles is just as derivative, nonsensical, and inappropriate as Sonichu!)

"Ore Rosechu, what the fuck are you talking about?"

Quite simply, good artists get better because they constantly challenge themselves to do better, bad artists never improve because they already think they're hot shit. We even see this in the sciences, with pseudoscience promoters knowing everything, making bold claims without proof, and always sounding so confident, while real scientists are boring, admit when they don't know something, and are quick to shoot down any ideas that dare to make bold statements without proof that's been triple checked at least a dozen times (This is why debates against pseudoscience promoters only help legitimize the fakery and do nothing to expose it.. the guy making this shit up as he goes is confident, the guy who isn't is always saying "I don't know", the crowd is going to listen to the former)

If Chris actually challenged himself, he could accomplish a lot. There was a smart person in him at one point (I mean props to him reformatting a gifted laptop ruining a troll attempt in the process, I know I wouldn't have had the same idea in his position, and I'm not fucking stupid!), but.. that person is dead, Chris murdered him.

PS: Remember Rollin' & Trollin' where he tried to pretend the whole thing was a hoax? (and only walked it back because trolls were threatening to report him to SSI.. and well that and the craving for attention)

At the ending where he's listing off various trolls and making jokes about their names... There's one part where despite him using "Escape from the City" as the theme song for the piece, It will never fail to amuse me that he tries to pretend he doesn't actually know Dr. Robotnik's name to seem more normal, and that liking Sonic was just "Part of the bit"

But the name he tries to use to "Pretend he doesn't know" is Dr. Ivo Eggman

I get what he was trying to do, mix up the 90's and 2000 Onward names to seem like he's a more casual gamer that doesn't really know what's going on with the series... but he uses the name "Dr. Ivo Eggman"

While anyone who's seen the older cartoons would know the name Robotnik, only a hardcore Sonic fan would know his first name (Ivo) as AoStH only says it once, and SatAM uses a different name entirely (Julian "Dr. Robotnik" Kintobor)

Meaning the "misremembered name" is a confession it's a bit, when saying "Dr. Eggbotnik" would have been far more believable...

I know none of rollin' and trollin' is decent as a hoax (He's still Chris pretending to be what he thinks a normal person is like), but it's the small ways he fucks this up that really amuse me.

 

Didn't Chris have a Megatron BB gun he threatened trolls with... pretty sure that violates the gun safety psa and federal laws.