Loud House Revamped, the Longest Fanfiction Ever Made

RIP I guess OP didn't make it. The autism was too strong.

 

At a point it stops being entertaining and our author just... Repeats shit.

Pages of names show up. Pages. That's how big the cast has become. A cast of stolen characters.

 

You put forth a good effort for how far into it you read. I personally can't stand fanfics that are written in script format so this is something I would've completely passed on despite its title as being the longest thing ever written. Years ago I dabbled in reading pieces of that god awful Fallout: Equestria story and I stopped after a few chapters and that was written like an actual proper story.

 

I feel like any fanfiction this long is going to at least kinda suck, since in order to write frequently enough for your story to become "the longest story ever written" you can't really """waste time""" proofreading and editing. In order for something like that to work, you'd probably need a professional team who prepare updates far in advance.

 

I got much further and had made posts to friends and just put everything in here.
@Rin got much much further and stopped before 2000 because... It's the same shit every time and the novelty wore off.

 

The average word is about 5 letters long, and with a space, that's about 6 characters per word. One character is a byte, so that means the watfic is now over 10 MB in size. That's 10 MB of plain text, not an image or video file. Meaning Loud House Revamped is over twice as long as the entire Bible.

that is kind of long

 

As someone that gave up on A-Log's fictions due to it all being the same shit mostly, I can't imagine Loud House Revamped having anything else going for it beyond WORDS WORDS WORDS and the same shit every time. At least A-Log put in his stories (erotically).

 

ah yes

that thing

 

Sorry for necroposting but I'm just gonna jump in here and tell you that I read this fanfic myself, and trust me, it only gets worse. Admittedly, I've skipped some chapters (Only 80% of them), though the ones I did read past the 80th mark are... something. The two chapters that stuck out to me were "Sam Strikes Back" (215) and "Down With Abusers" (356) because they encapsulate just how 1 dimensional J.D.'s villains are and how he writes pre-existing characters who were fairly nuanced in their original source material.

Chapter 215:

Author apparently doesn't know you're not supposed to tell readers how to feel.

Lynn Sr. wakes up to someone knocking at the door at nearly 2 in the morning and goes to answer, finding Luna's girlfriend - Sam Sharp - bruised and cut up. Sam explains her parents beat her while sobbing and Lynn Sr. takes her inside. Doing the sensible thing, Lynn decides to call his dau- I'm kidding, he calls J.D. because I guess he comes before family first.

Gonna be honest, really poor grammar there.

J.D. wakes up his fiance and both rush downstairs to find the two on the couch (plus Rita).

Mate, Lynn Sr. just told you what happened just a few lines ago.

Anyway, Varie goes to Sam and heals her right up while J.D. goes to wake Luna. J.D. tells Luna about her girlfriend's situation in which Luna just... thanks him after hearing her girlfriend got fucked up.

Don't know about you, but I'd be shoving him out of the way upon hearing my girlfriend is in my house injured.

J.D. also wakes up Lincoln, though I don't know why because he doesn't do this with the rest of the Louds (Though I'm guessing it's because Lincoln seems to be J.D.'s favorite character).

MATE, LYNN AND SAM JUST-

Whatever. They come downstairs to comfort her and ask if she can explain what went on back home, which she reluctantly does. Basically, she grew up with abusive parents, but they didn't resent her until she was 10; also her dad was an alcoholic while her mom was a drug addict. If this is starting to sound like your average Creepypasta, trust me, it just keeps ticking more boxes throughout the backstory.

Spoiler

No hyper-realistic blood unfortunately.

Anyway, Sam comes back from a concert and her dad scolds her for leaving the house.

Uhh... What about school? 'Cause I'm nearly positive Sam goes to school in the show. But yea, 1-dimensional abusive dad. What? You expected some nuance or something? Back to the back, Sam runs upstairs after telling him upfront she isn't his daughter. Couple hours later, her parents barge into her room and...

Mate, you just established the chapter is dark, you don't need to put another warning sign. Anyway, what happens here you might ask? Well... the parents sexually assault their child.

Tasteful...

Everyone's shocked after the story, obviously, and they suggest going over to confront the parents, but Lynn Sr. tells them to go to bed and that they can deal with the parents later.

Why? If the parents woke up and realized their child is gone, the best case scenario is that she's dead, and the worst is that she went to the police. Chances are they're probably already fleeing. But of course, the kids agree and Luna takes her her room. Oh yea, and Carol's there I guess; apparently she had some sort of character development after the Problem With Trolling chapter or something.

So they sleep and wake up at morning. Laney hears about the situation and rates Sam's parents a 17 on the Scale of Evil, prompting J.D. to explain what the Scale of Evil is for a whole paragraph. Then one of them suggests looking into the parents' history before dealing with them, 'cause it's not like they're likely on the run after finding out Sam's gone or anything. Lori then pulls a background check out of her ass and it turns out they're on FBI's most wanted list. Well that, and they were originally named Michael & Michelle Malloy before they changed their identity and had plastic surgery after escaping prison.

Simple question: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THIS OUT UPON MERE LITERAL SECONDS?!

Also, he says they met in prison, and yet he implies that they share the same last names together despite clearly not being married before then. So... does that mean they're cousins who fell in love? You know what? Fuck it, we already had incest before so why not?

God, this line just reeks with edge.

Oh yea, and Sam remembers she got superpowers sometime ago. Wouldn't want her to remember them beforehand, or else she wouldn't have something tragic to her happen for the sake of wanting something tragic to her to happen.

Department of redundancy department.

James then calls the police while in front of the house where the parents can see them clearly, and the cops as well as the FBI arrive 7 minutes later. Sure.

Yea, turns out they didn't know Sam fled the house, nor are they shocked to see her FUCKING FLYING.

So Sam knocks them both out and the duo are arrested. They then investigate the house to find everything in the kitchen sink; heroin, coke, stolen cash, bombs, and the cherry on top, goddamn swastikas. If it weren't clear that they're evil before, then it sure as hell is clear now. Oh, and it turns out all the Malloys' victims were gay because the Malloys are evil, and J.D. speculates that they were planning to use the bomb to, and I'm not fucking with you:

How? How is one gonna wipe out the an entire group - with people all around the globe - with a bomb that can only - at most - destroy a city? Doesn't matter, they're evil, end of story. Speaking of, the chapter finally ends with the two piece of shit parents being executed with lethal injections, justice is served, and Sam is adopted into the Loud House.

The End.

God, this took a long time to type out. Maybe planning on doing chapter 356 later or something.

 

holy crap how many chapters are there

 

Eh, not much, only 2212 chapters.

 

wow

How long is the average chapter?

 

Well, in the first 1400 chapters, an average chapter would take about 10-30 uninterrupted minutes, while everything past that (and before the 2000th mark) takes over an hour at least to read through.

The most recent chapters are over 3 hours long.

 

This somehow makes me miss the days when the longest written work of fiction was some shitty Smash Bros. fanfic by a Lucario obsessed furry.

 

Actually, Subspace Emissary World Conquest was dethroned some time ago before this, and by an Azurlane fanfic called "Ambience: A Fleet Symphony", although I have yet to actually read that.

 

Whoever types all that sure has a lot of energy and time to do so.

 

also there's this thread on Reddit:

Behold: The Longest Form of Literature Ever Written. "Loud House Revamped" : theloudhouse

 

Alright, before I get onto chapter 356, I no doubt need to fill in a couple of gaps by reading some other chapters for you. Chapters that are kinda necessary 'cause there's some characters and plot points introduced there that appear in the 356th part.

Chapter 74
There's a school dance coming up and the boys there try asking out some girls to come with them. Lincoln asks Ronnie, who, in this continuity, became his girlfriend not after constantly picking on him, but from being confronted by J.D. over bullying Abraham Lincoln Loud. She accepts and then there's a part where there's suddenly a crowd of kids coming over to beat the shit out of them.

Fish. Faces.

Anyway, Lincoln comes back home along with his friends to tell his sisters about the good news. Oh, and just to let you know, there's a running gag where Clyde goes apeshit everytime he sees Lori and J.D. calms him down by simply snapping his fingers. So that happens, as well as this:

But... isn't... Clyde... 11... and Lori 17? Also, ALREADY BEING TO A DANCE BEFORE IS YOUR CONCERN BUT NOT THE FACT YOU ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!

I gotta move on before I go on a tangent. Anyway, Luan says she's going to the dance with Eddy and it cuts to night where the the kids - plus Naruto who's planning to hook up with multiple girls via shadow clones - go to the dance after describing what everyone is wearing, and J.D. takes them to a taxi before the driver takes off.

They arrive, Liam meets girl named Tabby - who apparently soundproofs a wall with egg crates on dates - and Zach dances with a girl named Giggles (Who I admittedly thought at first was the chipmunk from a certain bait-&-switch webseries that was popular in the 2000's). Also, every girl talks about how great J.D. is because he's J.D.. Then some girl named Polly comes out of nowhere and road roller's J.D. or something. Meanwhile, Clyde dances with some goth girl named Haiku, and Riley dances with motherfucking Ben Ten. James notices Ben and the latter says this:

So anyway, it turns out Ben and Gwen came from another world, but that doesn't matter for now because Liam suddenly gets struck by lightning during a sudden "thundersnow" and gets ice/lightning powers because of it. Yea why not? Then some horse comes out of nowhere and Zach quickly tames it... and then he gets fire powers 'cause it turns out the horse came from hell. Then laughing water comes from the ground and hits Giggles, and honestly, I'm inclined to make some sort of DeviantArt joke just from reading that line. But nah, no inflation, Giggles gets water powers and everyone who gets hit by it starts laughing. Haiku then gets touched by raven and immediately obtains "dark powers".

Edge.

Then a Goddess and angel come out nowhere and Polly & Tabby get, respectfully, fire powers and goddamn rainbow powers.

I... I don't even know anymore... Honestly, I'm just gonna skip the rest because all it is is the rest of the gang getting powers from stupid shit. Only one worth mentioning is Clyde getting time powers because all he can do is destroy shit with a beam and... reverse someone's age.

Yea, just as I made a joke about DeviantArt, it hits me with "reverse the age of anyone they choose", and honestly, I really don't like where that's gonna come into play.

Also, there's some raffle going on that Lincoln ends up winning.

Also also, the kids that got powers are immediately disowned by their parents 'cause good parents don't exist outside Lynn Sr. & Rita apparently. So surprise surprise, they get adopted into the Loud House alongside Ben & Gwen.

Chapter 77
Yea, I was right, Carol get some sort of redemption arc.

Basically, Carol got kicked out of her home after getting into an argument with her dad, and found out, get this, she has split personality disorder and that's why she's been a bitch to Lori; cause god forbid the characters have any actual dimensions in terms of, you know, actual character.

I like how the author didn't even bother changing the name to Morgan when the switch happens. Anyway, Lisa takes Carol to her lab and shows her a machine called the "Persona Remover" (Funny considering her split persona's name is Morgana without the last A). Carol steps in one of the pods of the machine, red smoke comes out her and into the second pod, it turns into Morgan, and it's just Carol but red.

I'm just gonna call her Creepypasta Carol for now on 'cause that's what it's screaming to me.

So goodie-two-shoes Carol decides to fight Creepypasta Carol in the simulator because why not. Lori steps into simulator and they appear in an area from the Dragonheart film I guess. They beat the shit out of her and slash at her multiple times until this happens:

I... What...

I think I just a brain aneurysm from reading that...

So then Kara shows up and disappears again, then then Lori kills Morgan, some shit from the movie happens, and they exit the simulator. Oh yea, and Carol grew wings. J.D. brings in the Loud parents plus the teachers and school principal to inform them about the situation, they gasp and apologize to Carol, and the parents decide to adopt her into the residence.

 

Chapter 100
Not actually important to the story, all it is just the author expressing his hatred of an LH episode titled "No Such Luck", starting it with an author's note that ends with this:

Mate... The Loud House. is. not. real.

Why did I bring this up? Well, turns out the author does know about the Chris Savino allegations because it ends with the Nickelodeon CEO firing him because of it.

Also turns out the first half was ripped straight from DeviantArt, with the author even admitting to it at the end of the chapter.

Chapter 193

Naruto, J.D., & Lincoln go into the simulator and find themselves in Dragonball Z. They stumble upon Dr. Gero and immediately figure out his plans - A.K.A. fucking up Goku - in which Dr. Gero reawakens Android 17 & 18. He tells them to kill the trio but they just tell him to shit and then Piccolo crashes in with Mr. Over-9000, Over-9000 Jr., bald shortstack, and Tien.

Tried reading that shit in Vegeta's voice and it just doesn't click right.

James immediately tells Vegeta to go fuck himself and blasts him while Trunks and the rest of the heroes do absolutely nothing about it. Then J.D. explains to the Androids how he got his powers, blah blah blah, J.D. decapitates Gero and crushes his head, all while Krillin, Tien, Trunks, & Piccolo awkwardly just stand in the back doing jackshit.

He then teleports the gang to some island (Minus, again, Piccolo, Trunks, Vegeta, Krillin, & Tien) and this happens:

Yea, not only can he go Super Saiyan, but he can become a goddamn Super Saiyan Angel as well... How old is this mf supposed to be again? Where he can just transform into the equivalent of God? Here comes the kicker, Piccolo's son is carrying Bulma when this happens and...

Yea, turns out J.D.'s Super Saiyan is so goddamn strong that his energy can not only cause people to grow wings,

Spoiler

but can just cure Goku's heart disease. I repeat... THE HEART DISEASE THAT KILLED GOKU JUST GOT WIPED BY A LOUD HOUSE OC.

God, this story's must be written by the Department of Redundancy Department with how much it keeps repeating itself.

Anyway, 17 tells him to eat shit before challenging him to a battle. Spoiler, J.D. completely overpowers him and even states that:

Bro's giving Rey a run for her money, eh?

Then Cell pops in to say hi and James just evaporates him.

Spoiler

Yep, one of the dudes that managed to beat Goku just got killed off the first 10 seconds of his appearance in the story.

Back to 17, he gets bombed, the battle ends, and 18 is like "Fuck him". Then Goku and his friends arrive, J.D.'s backstory is explained for the 3rd time this chapter.

Well, that answers my question from before.

James then shows everyone his "Super Angel 3" form and Goku plus Trunks decide to compare power levels and...

... I'm speechless...

Then the group talk about how he destroyed Android 17, before shittalking Vegeta once J.D. commented on how arrogant he was, because J.D. good, Vegeta & Sasuke bad, amirite? Anyway, they decide to blow up Dr. Gero's lab in which Vegeta finally wakes up, and J.D. lectures him in how friendship gives you power or some shit like that. After hearing this, Vegeta's like "Shit you're right" and immediately has a change of heart because of this. Vegeta then befriends Goku (Probably end up banging later on), the DBZ universe merges with the Loud House universe, somehow.

End.

Will continue tomorrow and, hopefully, get to chapter 356 once I fill in every nook & cranny I can find.

I mean, I could just read every single chapter to get all the context before it, but.... You know.

 

How different would the author's life be in a timeline where The Loud House never aired?