So, in classic me fashion, I started a thread on Stones to Abbigale a year ago and just outright stopped. I don't care. Fuck that book. I can't look at it anymore. BUT, I return with something better. Something far more challenging, and one I think I'll actually stick to. What started as a funny joke between friends on a Discord turned into a bad decision. I decided to actually try and read the the aforementioned story, from start to finish. I'm fifty chapters in, and I've written my summaries as best I can. I hope you will join me on my bad decisions I have made, and laugh at it, (as well as me.) It starts slow, but what I've read so far... I feel like there's some gold somewhere in here. The Loud House Revamped: by JamesDean5842. A self-insert fanfiction about James Knudson, who goes by the name "J.D." throughout the story. He's... A lot of things. Each day I will log my progress with the fic. The exercise ends when I haven't read it for a week, and I will either need to start over, or end it completely. Oh, and the author is still working on it. It's currently estimated to be at 17 million words and has 1,842 chapters (and counting) to it. The rules are I try to explain what it is I read after having experienced this at the end of the day. I will log my expedition and note if my mental health starts to deteriorate. I will periodically update this along with the friend group. Started listening to it through TTS. Have gone through 4 chapters. It feels like the author wrote this as his own episodes for this series. The prologue starts out as an incoherent mess. It introduces itself as a superhero novel or something. The team is called "Team Loud Phoenix Storm." That name hasn't come up since I started, so I'm waiting for it to come back. The actual chapters after just feel like jokes and plotlines lifted from other shows and media. Everything is written in TV script format. All I remember is that JD, the self-insert protagonist, is a Jedi with a green lightsaber and has secret magic powers. Actually laughed when he says to the main cast, "THERE'S A LOT ABOUT ME YOU DON'T KNOW." Absolutely edgy. Ended on a road trip where some girl named Varie showed up and she's apparently his fiancé and his butler is named "Alfred" in which the protagonist states he is in no way related to the Alfred from Batman. Edit: Forgot to mention that everyone gains superpowers because of Lincoln's yoyo hitting some science experiment and one of the sisters becomes super smart from a bonk on the head. Predictably it is reversed by another object bonking her on the head. Also a heist for beef jerky. Also two of the sisters resist arrest by attacking police with baseball bats. The biggest piece of fiction here is the police didn't immediately commit deadly force because, y'know, funny cop joke. All of this is forgotten as a road trip happens and some tarot readings happen and the author inserts a music sting into the text as if we can hear it. I'm only nine chapters into this. I haven't the slightest clue as to what culminated into me still doing this. My dignity? I haven't nary a sliver of that considering I'm fully admitting that I'm still reading this. But today at least gave me something to think on. This feels like JamesDean5842 watched a bunch of episodes of the Loud House and just ripped the basic concepts from those to insert himself into those. The situations and moral lessons feel a little too grounded compared to what I assume is to come up later. One of Lincoln's sisters, Lori, I guess, broke his VR glasses and went to buy him a new set. It ends up Lincoln has an overreaction, and JD, the fic's self-insert, freezes her (or maybe it's Varie. They're the fucking same, frankly). But the weird part is how it ends. Apparently, Flip, who I guess is also in the show, just gets 10 years for overworking Lori with zero setup. He's forced to pay $250,000. To her. And the episode just ends there. I assume these were lifted from the original series altogether and given very little creative thought. It's the 8 year old version of "hanging out with my favorite characters!" But the writer is thirty years old. One chapter is short. The Loud House is now part Iroquois Indians. One of the sisters now has wind powers. I get the feeling this is leading up to something. I don't know if I like it. I definitely know I don't like it. This feels more like something "original," because the structure is shot. It's short enough to finish quickly, and by God, I certainly got vibes of CWC's "Cherokean Heritage" here. As we move further ahead, I didn't detail chapter 9, the first one I read. This chapter starts with that structure of copying an episode from the series. But something happens that I swear is straight from JD's head. So Lincoln is looking for records of his birth for school. Apparently his parent's don't remember. Shenanigans ensue and it's all pretty boring to say the least. But then we find out why his parent's were hiding it. So apparently he was born inside the limo, that, I swear this is real, was being ridden by President George W. Bush. Having never seen the show before, I cannot tell if this was actually something that happened or if JamesDean5842 actually added that part. It turns out that Lincoln's parents can't make that info public because "Bush was heading to his secret safehouse." So his parents signed an agreement and they can't break it. The chapter ends with the author's note saying: "The thing about government secrets is true. We don't want another Edward Snowden to happen in this country." So we get another episode, a Halloween episode. It's also the same standard format. But JD gets into some rant about having shapeshifting powers, and literally turns into "the monsters from the movie The Thing (1991)." He then goes into detail about how much he loves those movies and the game that exist. April Fool's episode. All I remember was that Luan likes pranking people and some joke about peeing out of a hose. Also JD wakes up in an infirmary in his mansion, and remarks that "I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAVE AN INFIRMARY!" Another episode is set up with a hidden note. This convinced me that this was originally on the show and JamesDean just ripped the idea and added his character to it is because of it having lesbians in it. This episode got a fucking laugh out of me the hardest and proved that I need to continue my expedition. So the plot happens, not important, but it ends up with a girl named Sam and one of the Loud sisters being confessed to. But then JD goes up and gives a business card with the rainbow flag on it and everyone tells him how cool he is for being a supporter. It's incredible, and I laughed out loud looking over this. They tell him he's cool and it becomes the preachiest message ever about acceptance. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it is one of those things that hits you over the head so hard you start wondering, "YA KNOW, I WONDER WHAT THE AUTHOR MEANT BY THIS!" Racism bad. Very nuanced. So, then a couple episodes happen, and I start to think "it will probably be like this until we get up to the final episode that the Loud House actually finished at." NOPE. Because we have now entered the next layer. This was only the beginning, and I've been informed by my parole off- I mean, reporting counsel, that there is no backing out of this. There was at least a little bit of a message in some of the episodes that JamesDean was ripping from, but that was actually from the show. Now that it seems Woody the Woodpecker has joined the Smash Brothers fight, it's going to get worse from here. Better get my will written out while I have the mental capacity for it. "This time the story won't be pre-determined like the others. Let us start the game."