Chris uses his freezer as a sperm bank

Goddamn .....
It's shit like this that makes chris the king of the cows.

 

He's merely making building-blocks for his semen-based igloo, silly ones.

 

The "samples" are either spread out somehow over a large area of the container, or CWC produces a sizable portion of semen when it (yes "it") ejaculates. Also, I am very doubtful that semen could actually be used for any legitimate purpose, since it's unlikely Chris follows anything resembling sanitary procedures in collecting it. Any of the material that touched its hands could probably be considered biohazardous waste, if anything.

 

If she had cognizance enough to figure out what it actually was, she'd get turned on. Otherwise, she'd munch on the "Ice cream", unable to tell what flavor, but remembering it vaguely as a favorite treat from some far off summer, many decades ago.

 

Then she'd probably eat Chris's semen tbh fam.

 

Even if she did it knowingly it would be the least weird thing about their relationship

 

They've been spooning for years so it really would just be another day in the Chandler household.

 

Barb microwaves the tubs and we get giant CWCs that can breathe fire...

 

I can picture it now...

The future: all mankind scorched from the Earth by nuclear warfare. The sole surviving piece of genetic material on the planet is - miraculously - Chris' frozen navy, safely cushioned within the hoard for future alien races to discover and make clones from.

Those aliens are going to judge humanity so hard.

 

We're going to have to make this movie.

 

If Indiana Jones could survive a nuclear explosion by hiding in a fridge, surely can Chris' semen do the same. I feel much better now knowing that at least Crystal Chandler will survive the inevitable apocalypse.