FB 9/9 - Jessica Quinn is Lovely Weather

I just have a feeling this is some scheme him and Jessica came up with to Troll the Trolls so to speak. They're faking some relationship so they can yell SPAGETS!!! At the end.

 

Well it will be entertaining any way it goes down.

 

Provided a sex tape doesn't leak from all this.

 

Considering how funny the Johan stuff was I think a sex tape in 2017 would be hysterical

 

I'll be waiting for the video of chris saying 'we're getting married' and he writes himself into a corner with this work of fiction.

 

In case it hasn't been posted yet.

 

Will the reception be at Mcdonalds?

 

All of the wedding gifts are Hexboxes and jars of pickles.

 

I really do wonder what Jessie's doing here. She's followed him on Facebook for at least 2 years, saw the horror of unclit 2.0 and knows exactly what Chris is about.

Does she feel sorry for him?
Is this just another bout of trolling about to start?
Is she giving him 'a chance' and is going to recoil in horror and run away when she sees all this "my sweethart search is over, she is my future wife" stuff?
Or does she just have awful taste in autistic transwomen?

 

Dude, if Chris actually finds a way to defy physics and the laws of nature by pulling off a sexcopter with JQ, she might actually stick around and become the new Mrs. Chandler. Or would Chris then become the new Mrs. Quinn?

 

This is the best timeline ever

 

Is there any actual proof that this "Jessica" character is a troll or that she's one of Chris's sockpupper accounts? So far I've only seen proof that she's a real person, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to believe someone is unironically wanting to go out with Chris.

 

As it's been stated before, Jessica has been orbiting Chris and giving him advise for two years. I think sockpuppeting has been ruled out, as it's been proven that Chris can't keep up a sock charade for two *days*, let alone two years...

 

So now that the dust has settled, Hirtes' tears have dried up, and I have some actual free time, I'd like to articulate my thoughts on this whole mess.
This new relationship has proven once again, without a doubt, that Chris only gives a shit about a woman if vagina/girlfriend title is on the table. JQ isn't a bad person and isn't a bad white knight. She actually wanted to help Chris by offering to get him in a special program to get a job. She actually wants Chris to get better, not just feel better. Chris always ignored her advice or snapped at her that one time. To Chris, JQ was just another nobody telling him things that he didn't want to hear. If she got harassed before, Chris might release a video going "hmmmm yeah, leave my friends alone." That's over now, because she offered him a real loving relationship. So now he's going to have to reply to everything she says and will defend her by name, because she's only worth the time of day as his girlfriend with her vagina possibly open.
It also proves that when it comes to relationships, it's any port in a storm for Chris now, Chris's previous "girlfriends" were petite, sweet and pure, non-alcoholic and virginal. JQ looks like she'll light up a USA Gold after throwing you through a brick wall at the local dive with a Sam Adams in her hand (and there's not a damn thing wrong with that.) This is a good thing, since Chris's standards had been a problem for decades.
The million dollar question now is, Is Jessica Quinn real? My guts tell me yes, because two years is a long time to build up a sweetheart saga. I believe that the girl in the pictures is a real person who either might have some mental issues of her own, or genuinely wants to help Chris and this is the only way to actually get through to him. Jessica Quinn isn't her real name, as Kiwis haven't found her in Orange County records, but Quinn could be her middle name or a DC reference, it's not that odd. However, if the ol' guts are wrong and JQ is trolling, let me be the first to sarcastically congratulate some asshole who put on a stupid facade for two years just to get the same unoriginal sweetheart saga we've seen a shitzillion times already. Hope it was worth your time.

 

You just know weens will now begin to swarm her facebook page, if only to see Chris gallop in to defend his "lady's" honor.

 

I'm thinking one of two things is going on. In the first one she is a white knight who realizes the only way to get Chris to do things is to be his sweetheart. The other possibility is that shes a white knight who's turned troll after years of being ignored, much like Vivian Gee. I think if she was a troll from the beginning she would have attempted to stroke Chris's ego much sooner than now.

 

I thought Vivian Gee was a troll from day number one, I never remember hearing about her being a white knight (doesn't help we've never seen a pic of her).

 

You know what?
I wish that just for once, this could end without the "Sweetheart" being a troll, or without Chris fucking things up.

 

I mean if Chris gets married it will be like when Truman leaves the dome. We'll all cheer and find something else to do.