Least favorite Chris moment

In the wake of Trump and Brexit it just felt like everything became political and everyone had to pick a side. Chris was a prime example of that - not only his gender identity, but his stance on certain political issues (which he obviously knows nothing about) becoming a target for just as much mockery.

It feels like people were getting into Christory for the wrong reasons - deciding that his views on 'Pmurt' were just as laughable as his gross personal habits or terrible comic, and that they could be used as ammo in the ongoing culture war.

 

So, here's my 'short' (ha) opinion on most of the sagas in Christory.

Mostly positive:
-Adam Stackhouse (no troll influence, just TRUE and HONEST unadulterated Chris)
-Liquid (got a little tiring after a while though)
-Asperchu
-Doopie/MLP VA's

Mostly (or all) negative:
-Megan
-Julay/BlueSpike (worst troll in terms of personality)
-Financhu Crisis (especially when Barb was involved)
Other troll girlfriends, in general*:
-Kacey (irritating voice)
-Jackie (inconsistent tone, wanted to help Chris but also told him to make stupid videos as a 'troll')
-Jessica Quinn (beating a dead horse, cringy additions to Sonichu, caused him to go even further of the rails straight into the clutches of...)
-The Idea Guys (worst trolls for influence on his worldview)
Post-Idea-Guy Christory in general:
-Orbiter drama (the worst part is that stuff stopped being about Chris, he wasn't part of the conversation as much because everything became about Guardmen and Watchdogs and the Mattress and who can be the next Clyde Cash vs. who can save Chris from himself)
-Dimensional Merge/God delusions (wasn't this just a guy who made a shitty internet comic at one point...)
-Jacob Sockness (creepy and potentially dangerous)
-Bella (worst troll in terms of motives and actions)
-Incest/Jail Saga (duh)

Neutral:
-Minor happenings in the Classic Era (Jimmy Hill, PandaHalo etc.)
-Soft Exile (I wish he'd just stayed away...)
-Pmurt (his RAGE was entertaining but the Kiwi crowd making it about actual politics sucked the fun out)
-Tomgirl/Trans (same thing)

So yeah, it's mostly depressing but there were a few funny moments I won't discount.

*I kinda like Blanca and Ivy because they played into Chris's conception of how women should behave and his expectation of relationships.

 

I doubt that anyone disagrees with that being negative.

hopefully no one out there thinks it's a positive thing

 

The thing that got me shell shocked was when BlueSpike made Chris shove the medallion down there, i don't know but after that i think i got jaded or built some tolerance to disgusting things Chris is able to do. The incest saga was bad but not as shocking for me, i kinda expected that kind of stuff

 

Are we forgetting the time he literally tried to kill Michael Snyder with Son-Chu?

 

Wasn't he trying to flee to avoid trespassing charges, Snyder blocked the way, so both he and Barb tried to drive away anyway, hitting Snyder in the process?

 

All I know is that Chris hit him with the front bumper, and then Barb took the wheel and hit Snyder again.

There's no way they didn't notice that. I know both of them have always been really bad drivers, but it sounds incredibly difficult to hit Snyder with their car twice by accident.

 

Pretty sure she's talking about the vehicular assault during the GAMe PLACe trespassing incident on October 28th, 2011. That was the one you were in the courtroom to witness the legal proceedings of, right?

 

I don't think Chris was trying to murder Michael Snyder that day by hitting him with his car, but I also don't think Chris cared about what happened to Snyder. As long as he got to have diminished consequences for it.

To really get across what I mean, I don't think Chris would have been phased if Snyder showed up to court in a wheelchair.

 

I think he'd have schadenfreude if he saw Snyder in a wheelchair.

 

This, dude would have been bragging about Snyder getting what he deserves....

Chris doesn't have mercy or compassion for anyone he sees as a villain in his story.

 

Because to him the only difference between Clyde Cash and Michael Snyder is how you spell their name, dude is a very vengeful person

 

I've also noticed that in the classic era and the tomgirl era at least, Chris barely differentiated from random people who pissed him off in real life, usually by inconveniencing him or holding him accountable, and internet trolls.

I think the reason Chris got that harebrained idea that the GAMe PLACe had a secondary purpose of being used as a secret trolling barracks hiding in plain sight, all with Michael Snyder's blessing, is because of when Mimms and Lucas took those blurry photos of him there and posted them on 4chan. I think this was also what ultimately convinced Chris that Megan was involved with the trolling when she very clearly wasn't, alongside the fact that she continued frequenting the GAMe PLACe after Chris's lifetime ban in mid 2008.

All of this, plus how conspiratorial minded Bob was, had Chris buying into the crackpot theory that the PLACe was a local troll headquarters in Charlottesville part of some international trolling organization, that he was the primary target of. Bob and Barb taking the red herring of Lucas and Mimms photographing Chris and posting the photos on 4chan as a bombshell supporting this conspiracy theory then had both of Chris's parents telling him that this was completely true, and he had just figured it out.

The closest Michael Snyder ever got to being at all involved in any of Chris's internet misadventures was that he used to have a YouTube account called TheRCholic which he commented on some of Chris's videos with. I think he was also called by some lesser-known trolls back in the day, but all he did was answer a few questions. Definitely not something I think was a good idea to do even back then, very weeny behavior on the part of internet strangers calling Snyder's phone number.

 

I would not be surprised to learn that the fact that the game plays closed was not because of financial failure but because he realized the store's legacy would never evolve beyond Christory.

 

I also wouldn't be shocked if post Chris's permanent ban from mid 2008 and onwards, if the GAMe PLACe got a lot of obnoxious new customers coming in just because of the Chris Chan shit they heard about on the internet. Maybe some people showed up not to even buy anything or hang out and play something, but just to ask a barrage of annoying questions about CWC.

Imagine being either Michael Snyder or someone working under him, and then having to deal with that and however many Chris-related prank calls they probably got from random people, whenever they weren't also dealing with Chris himself showing back up to make a scene.

 

Seems that to that lolcow, "friendship" is worship.

 

Correct, it's a big reason why he cannot be helped. The second you ask him to do anything difficult, no matter how necessary or blatantly beneficial to him it is.. You are an enemy and he no longer wants anything to do with you.

It's why I find it impressive there are weens that can even get a hold of him at all.

It's why Rocky Shoemaker was such a useful ally to him, she was a church consuler, not a licensed therapist. All she's gonna do is ask him to pray and trust in God, and since Chris' idea of God is basically his own personal Fairy God Mother.... This isn't difficult in the slightest.

To someone who actually cared about the faith, this would involve studying the bible and living a less sinful lifestyle. Ya know, "Oh I won't gamble as much, because that's greed, and greed's a sin. The jackpot's tempting, but the wages of sin are death!" something that is helpful in a "You get what you give" sense....

"Trust in God" is good advice for when you need to accept that some things are beyond your control, and you simply need to be patient, worry less, and hope tomorrow brings a better hand for you to play.

It's terrible advice when you're a Fundamentalist weirdo or an autistic manchild, both who think only in oversimplifications and without any knowledge of what the fuck an allegory is.

Religion is actually pretty based when you make an effort to actually understand the teachings instead of cherry picking what you want to hear for the purposes of either mocking religion or claiming God as your personal Genie.