Meta What If?

In a way Nintendo has bought up Sonic already.

 

What if Chris some how inherited a small business one he's invested in. Like let's say hypothetically, the judge was so taken back by, that dirty JEW Synder making Chris run him over in Self defense and awarded him the game place. Now it's a running small profit company, he could absentee owner it and just collect a check. Would he do that, be happy and some times skim off the top but for him just get high on his supply. Would he have his ego pop in and have him effect the company?

I lean to the middle he'd demand they put a sonichu display up but other wise mostly ignore the shop and just pull the check.

 

Short answer: He'd treat the business as CWCkville's personal embassy in the real world.

Long answer: He'd either rarely visit the store, or virtually live there. He'd enact all sorts of weird rules whenever he was in the store, like calling him 'gym leader' or 'mayor' and that he had to oversee all pokemon battles. He'd likely also take merchandise off the shelves and either open them or take them home, thinking all the merch is his anyway, so 'he's not taking money out of his own pocket.'

He'd pay his employees either minimum wage, or in pokemon cards (common variety). Female customers would find him always over their shoulders, and in the old days there would be a news story about how a sign on the door reading 'no homos.' Today, the store would look like some MLP shrine, with chirs's hand drawn pictures lining the walls and Sonichu getting its own prominent stand. If comics sold more than his, then he'd likely not carry them (so no comics but his) and if you laugh at Sonichu, you're banned. If you beat him at a children's card game, you're banned. Men? You can come in and spend your money but Chris wants nothing to do with you. Women? Chris would give them a discount trying to get them to come back. 'Violent' looking games like Warhammer and War Machine are not allowed because chris doesn't like them, they take up space, and are too complicated for him.

Chris tries to hire only women, but he ends up becoming the kind of boss who lets the female employees walk out whenever they want and operate the computer that keeps track of their hours. (A very bad idea, having worked in a small store that let the girls do this.)

I can't see chris operating the Game Place (renamed to some stupid CWC variant) business for more than 4 months.

 

What if Chris joined Coon and Friends?

 

I thought he did.

 

What if JQ shows up online with a new significant other.

 

I dunno about you guys, but I wouldn't care. I'd purposefully give a "JQ what, now?" and then go about my life.

 

What if chris gets a time machine?

 

To answer that question, we would need a definitive answer on what happens when one goes back in time. Would everything be screwed up, destroying the universe? Would the universe rewrite itself when he goes back and does his shenanigans? Or does going back in time technically send Chris to parallel universe, leaving us completely unaffected? I'm personally not sure which angle to answer this question with.

 

Assuming that Back to the Future was wrong about meeting yourself destroying the universe: Chris's highschool would be overrun with copies of himself intent on reliving his HS days over, and over, and over, and over again.

Should I try writing up a joke SCP entry for Chris or one of the objects of fail?

 

Alternatively, each time he goes back he'll basically erase his native self.

 

Option 1) - She goes back in time and warns past Chris about trolls, Megan, the Financhu Crisis etc etc. Past Chris ignores her because past Chris is Chris and won't listen to anyone, even a future version of himself.

Option 2) - She goes back in time in a manner that allows her to replace past Chris and relive years of her life with knowledge of how her life will go up to the point of obtaining the time machine. She makes 95% of the same choices, because she's still lazy and deluded, and still more or less ends up in her current mess. Possibly goes trans a few years earlier. I suppose she might have the mental faculties to not run Michael Snyder over, but would probably find an alternative way to bankrupt herself and Barb.

Option 3) - What Yamcha's Only Fan said.

 

An addition to option 1: Past chris becomes even more homophobic upon seeing his future trans/lesbian self and the whole story of chris is even more insane.

Time traveling trolls get to watch Past Chris scream about homo chris while future chris calls his past self sexist.

 

That could well happen. Kinda depends on when exactly in the timeline Present Chris would land on Past Chris. Around High School Past Chris would probably just find Present Chris confusing and have difficulty comprehending how he could become Present Chris. Around peak trolling years (Julie Saga etc.) he'd probably lash out in anger.

 

I keep switching which pronoun I use for fun.

 

Yes.

 

"Sanic Totem. "
Item # SCP-352-CWC.
Object Class: Keter.
((I think a lot of these will be Keter class. x3 ))