Michael Hirtes / Mhirtes / DILDO_ON_FOREHEAD / @TheRealCWC93 (FUCK OFF CHRIS!)

I think of it this way,
Chris is literally the worst person ever and you know that old joke about could god microwave a burrito too hot for him to even eat?

God proved he could make someone worse than Chris in Hirtes.

Yes, this is sarcastic, I feel autistic that I needed to list that here, but well... we kinda do.

 

Yes, apparently we do need to say these things, considering Hirtes is a thing and whatnot. Seriously, though, if Chris is the worst thing God has created, then the bar is a bit low. I mean, I personally think that everything bad in the world is the fault of humans (excluding natural disasters), but hey.

 

Chris is worse than genocide and abuse, confirmed

 

Except for when he's not, but who cares about those times?

 

Hey, I recently watched one of the many documentaries made about Jeffrey Dahmer, and I can confirm that Chris is even more of a monster than that man ever was.

 

I never knew about this guy before until you brought him up. Learn something new everyday.

 

Here’s the thing, yes serial killers are horrific monsters but you see interviews with people who knew them and it’s usually they’re shocked and go on about what nice,friendly,seemingly normal people they were. I don’t think a lot of people would say that about Chris, or Hirtes for that matter. I don’t know though Hirtes behavior seems pretty sociopathic, he may be another Jeff Dahmer, just without the charm and (perceived) normalcy.

 

The thing is Chris is an objectively better person than Hirtes. For all Chris's creepiness, he usually keeps to himself and most of his "victims" came to him with the intent of tormenting him. Chris has a sense of morality, even if its weak and eccentric. Hirtes has no problem scamming other people he identifies with and hates people who work just because he thinks the world should revolve around him. Chris tries to offer support where Hirtes just makes humorless mean spirited tweets to a person hes never met and has done him no wrong.

Chris is still a shitty person but he looks like a saint in comparison to Hirtes.

 

Check out this interview with a sexual psychopath where he claims that the only reason he put in effort to being friendly with the neighbors and having a normal job with a normal wife is so that they didn't suspect him of molesting his daughter and didn't believe their children when they told them about how he attempted to sexually abuse them. Psychopaths always appear charming and friend to hide what monsters they are, so it's a terrible point to make that "He was such a nice guy, aside from the murdering people thing."

 

I'm prone to being vitriolic in my way of speaking when chris does something that offends me (but I'm getting better) but i would never use Bob's death as ammo against chris. That's just pathetic. Pathetic in a completely different way than chris.

 

Now in Hirtistory:

 

Okay. Spurred on by Hirtes's mentioning of the fire, I have to ask; "Wouldn't that be the worst way for this whole experiment to end?" Chris ends up dying from some accident before Barb passes, without us being able to witness what he's like when he has to stand on his own two feet? I'm sure Hirtes would laugh at this turn of events, but it'd be like a cosmic 'fuck you' to christorians.

 

It was supposed to be a joke, Chris is potatos to everything else that's bad

 

Seems Hirtes' daily planner was leaked.

Spoiler

All the entries are "YELL AT CWC!"

 

Oh, I ruined the joke, I'm sorry.

 

I wonder if one day someone will surpass Hirtes as the ultimate A-Log in the way Hirtes surpassed Tony LoGatto

 

How dare you not understand my joke? Reeeeeeeeeee!

 

It’s gonna be tough.
A-log, for all his faults, had hobbies, he wrote fanfics, and even though they’re disgusting trash, he wrote them. He also had a radio show, went to school, and has intrests that don’t revolve around Chris. It’s still 100% acceptable to tear him apart, but he had something about him that wasn’t about Christine, it didn’t completely consume his life.
Hirtes seems to have no internet footprint outside of hating Chris, the man has written thousands of tweets and hundreds of novelas on Kiwi Farms all about how Chris is the worst person to walk the Earth, comparing an autistic guy struggling with social cues to fucking Hitler. That takes a lot of time, so even if it’s revealed Hirtes is the biggest troll to trolls in Christory, it’s still sad.
I invite you to name ONE THING about Hirtes that has nothing to do with Chris, A-log likes anime and doing voice impression of past US presidents, what does Hirtes have?

 

Scamming furries.