Legal Jail Letters (ITT: More Evidence Chris Nuttier than Squirrel Shit)

It wasn't directly because of that though.

"I still felt my own worse from wear with the fear, startle, paranoia, and I did NOT want him following me and causing more trouble upon me. And then in my defense and to make my escape, I spritzed a miniscule amount of the pepper spray Downward; NOT into his face. And then I left."

- "Honor Roll"

 

The part in the latest letter about trolls spontaneously combusting was pretty violent for current day Chris. It reminds me of when he wanted to execute the Asperchu and CWCipedia guys back in the day. Maybe being in jail is giving him more time to ruminate on all the trolling.

 

Would Barb need to testify, or, more likely, enter an affadavit? Or, as the buzzkills have been saying, is Chris's insistence on stating "YES, I DID IT" in writing enough for the state?

The case is enough of an embarrassment for the county. I would imagine nothing would make them happier than laying down a misdemeanor something-or-other and getting on with it. It's Chris's incompetence and chronic disinterest to adulting that's impeding his right to a speedy trial.

 

In a recent letter, Chris explained the new mugshot.

- "Honor Roll" on what was likely an "autistic meltdown"

(Chris and anger - CWCki)

 

Yeah, do those people REALLY need articles of their own? Some of them (like Dillin Thomas and GiBi) had small paragraphs on the 'Other enablers' page, that should be enough. It doesn't matter who they are outside of their interactions with Chris.

Speaking of Dillin, I think he once suggested that the whole 'pinned down as a child' thing was the result of Chris trying to 'curse' the teacher when he didn't get his way.

 

What the flaming fuck is a "Full Photogenic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Moment"?

I think there should just be one page for the fuckheads who write to Chris, titled "Fuckheads Who Write to Chris" and if they're worthy of having their own page (ie: Kengle) then put a link to their page in their section on the Fuckheads page.

 

Chris has 'kindly' decided to share some of the drawings he made in jail, so I think it couldn't hurt to discuss them here.


"This authentic Chris Chan Prison Art was drawn while Christine was being incarcerated in Orange County Jail.

This piece depicts Sonichu calling on the power of the Chaos Emeralds to merge dimensions and save the peoples of all dimensions from rapture. He prays to Mama Jesus Christ Chan for strength, as we all do.

This framed piece is autographed and drawn on a piece of country jail scrap paper."

-Praetor, on Sonichu Prime and the Cyan Master Emerald

This makes me wonder how many "experiments" he's tried in his fantasies to merge dimensions, to no avail. Like, when "meditating," does he imagine himself in C-197 doing some shit like this in the hopes that if he imagines hard enough, the thing will happen? If so, I wonder how he explains his failure.
"hmm, maybe if I use the cumfart gems from sonic does his taxes on the sega pico instead of the ultra master monkey emerald balls from mario and sonic at the 2014 sochi olympic games it'll work, although I may need to adjust the alignment of the rainbow chaos energy refractor lens, or maybe wait for a full moon..."

 

I think the thing with both of them isn't so much their interactions with Chris as much as how they influenced the CWCsphere, and the perceptions towards him and his orbiters, as a whole. As far as I can tell, that's the new direction the site is going in these days, as it has become much more transparent about how these interactions with Chris had actually occured, so it's basically expanded to the entire CWC orbiter-sphere as a whole.

It's not really the ED splinter site it once was, where it was created solely to contain the drama created by his page, people now rely on the website regularly, and people seem just as interested in all of these side characters as they are in Chris. Spooky Bones, who once had influence over the documentation of Bella, even tried to make a wiki solely on these minor Chris orbiters (the Julaypedia) in part for this reason, though that in itself didn't last very long.

 

FYI, that dialogue in the first speech bubble was ripped straight from Sonic Adventure, for the people here that are not autistic about Sonic.

 

"This piece was drawn by Christine Weston Chandler while incarcerated in Orange County Jail.

Titled "the Universe's Core," it depicts Rosechu and Christine (in her Supreme Sonichu form) melding energies with the Center of the Universe. The core itself is depicted as an eye-like structure, diffusing life sustaining energy to all creatures and peoples.

Christine states that her energies come from the core, and such energies can only be conducted through deep meditation.

This piece is framed, inked, signed, and drawn on a piece of prison scrap paper."

For something that's the center of all creation, it doesn't look very grand. It makes one wonder what it would look like if he tried to write a holy book detailing all of the information he's come up with. Obviously it would be incoherent, but it would probably be the longest work he's ever made, and it would provide great insight into his mental state.

 

tl;dr: "Honor Roll" shows off how smart he thinks he is?

Also that idea seems to be parroted from the "Galaxy Cauldron" of the Sailor Moon manga.

 

It could also be ripped from Mario Galaxy. I think the finale of that game took place in the universe's center (or the galaxy's center)

 

The "center of the universe" in Mario Galaxy is just that, but the "Galaxy Cauldron" in Sailor Moon "is the most powerful star in the universe responsible for the cycle of life and death of all things" (according to the wiki). Also "Honor Roll" likely mixes up "universe" with "galaxy", just like he mixed up "galaxy" with "solar system". Also did he play Mario Galaxy to the end?

 

"This piece was drawn while Christine Chandler was being held in Orange County Jail.

The art shows Chris Chan's loving wife Rosechu the Hedgehog defeating a robot, as any good wife should. Text at the head of the page reads : "Hi! Rosey Rosechu here. Welcome to my podcast. Today, we are showing you how to destroy Eggman's robots. Step one... Slice!"

The drawing is framed and autographed."
-Praetor, on Rosey Slices. Rosey Dices. But That's Not All.

These guys know that rosechu isn't Chris's wife, right? I know it's mega autistic to complain about this, but you'd think that people who are so dedicated to this weening/grift/attention seeking/ whatever that they'd still work with Chris after what he did to Barb would know a little more about sonichu lore.

I don't have much to say about the drawing, except for this: what is Rosechu using to slice that thing in half? What is that lightning bolt?

 

Oh god, I thought the incest thing was traversing to the multiverse.

 

It probably will at some point.

 

For some reason, weens using the name "Praetor" sounds pretentious.