Legal Jail Letters (ITT: More Evidence Chris Nuttier than Squirrel Shit)

Ya gotta believe!

 

I think that although Chris thinks he's Christ, his TV-friend "Honor Roll" brain can't really conceive what (nigh) omnipotence would really be like. I imagine he thinks his "true self" in toon world is about as powerful as Superman or Super Sonic.

 

It appears that Helena Fiorenza was able to reach out to Chris via letter, and she had the previous recipient "Eels and the Eggman" receive two of these letters.


(Link * Archive)

Spoiler: May 8 2022

Spoiler: June 1 2022

 

At least Chris is no longer only talking at people through Kengle.

Also that signature seems to capture the essence of both "annoyance" and "sacrilege".

 

These letters just aren't interesting anymore to me. It's just the cookie-cutter 'I'm God, worship me, you all will be punished for being dang dirty trolls, something about ponies, I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN'.
Can't a ween introduce him to Mormonism or something?

(That's a joke, in case you couldn't tell)

 

What if Clinton claimed he "healed" Lewinsky instead of denying having relations with her?

 

I like the way you think, Mr. Boat. (inb4 'did you just assume my gender')

 

All this CPU goddess horseshit comes from Hyperdimensia Neptunia, which I'm pretty sure is Japan's satirical answer to the console wars (not like Chris understands satire.) I wouldn't know though, because I've never played it.

That said, though, because Chris has the emotional and psychological maturity of a carrot, Chris would've been too wrapped up in games geared more toward younger players, since JRPG's tend to have deeper storylines that I truly believe Chris wouldn't/couldn't/can't understand, (especially since even neurotypical people have trouble comprehending some JRPG's - lookin' at you, Nomura.) Like, imagine Chris trying to wrap his smooth brain around Shin Megami Tensei or Persona or even Final Fantasy (any of them). There's no way in hell he'd be able to follow the storylines of any of those series. His smooth brain would probably explode if he tried to comprehend Kingdom Farts, (tbf though, nobody comprehends the storyline of Kingdom Farts.)

Pokemon works because it's a pet collector with no real storyline. Kid wants to be best at training smol animals, kid becomes best at training smol animals. There's no message, nothing to think about after the fact, no decisions impacting outcomes, etc.

IDK, the idea of Chris getting chucked out of a religious community for being too annoying makes me giggle.

 

Guys you don't understand, I have reverse AIDS, when I have sex with people I make them healthier.

 

What do you think would have happened if chris had ever met Jim Jones?

 

He would've complained that he would've rather had Orange Hi-C from McDonalds instead of Grape Flavoraid.

 

That goes with what I said earlier too.

Chris really is like a little kid inside. An egotistical little kids with a sex drive, which is disturbing.

 

According to the latest letter it seems Chris had some sort or run in with the guards/orderlies unless this too is a fabrication like his oft mentioned memory of being pinned down by teachers at Green county school. I think Geno once speculated that the incident was real but was more of them having to hold him down because he was so uncooperative.

 

Chris can have "autistic meltdowns", which I think is not unusual in severe autism.

One time, a "meltdown" took the form of "hedgehog defense mode" at that convention.

 

For whatever reason, though, Chris is starting to blab, even if in dribs and drabs. As mentioned previously, that the state has no apparent interest in pursuing charges against Barb is really stuck in his craw. And, reading between the lines, it's sunk in that the court considers him unreliable.

 

Imagine what would happen if Barb is called to testify against chris in court.