Sonichu: A Fan's Follow Up

So normally I wouldn't care enough about this but after taking a peak at that one guy who can't animate pitched his new sonichu the animated series idea and then threw a hissy fit that nobody wants to do this for him for free...

I took a quick peek at his scripts.


Maybe I'm moralfagging but the script opens up with turning a very real sexual assault into a gag. The implication of Chris doing incest with his mom was funny when nobody thought it would actually happen. It's tasteless to make into a comedy now that it actually has. It's low effort and unfunny, and maybe there's other stuff in here worth riffing.

Anyways, source and source.

I also downloaded PDFs of it all in case this kid decides to DFE.

 

Chapter 1.
So the script opens with this:

And already I'm getting some pseudo-intellectual flexing vibes from this thing. I don't think running really fast was supposed to be what "Zap to the extreme" meant, and something rubs me the wrong way with the way he says "if you will". We get it, you're most likely smarter than the guy who came up with the phrase. I don't even know why he added it here, it's not part of any would-be dialogue.


...Yep. There it is.

This is actually one of the things I hate most about about Chris's following. Chris himself is a fucking idiot and deserves most of the shit that he got from the internet. The people who suffered from proximity to Chris did not. The internet didn't do Mary Lee Walsh any favors when it comes to googling her. Most of what the whole world knows about Megan is the image that Chris drew of her, which is what she was afraid of. What Chris did to Barb is horrifying, and doesn't need to be made into a cartoon. Even if Kiwis or other Christorians somehow think this is funny, I guarantee the rest of the audience will not. I get that Barb was a shitty parent, I really do. But this is the one thing she doesn't deserve to be mocked for.

The story moves on to Rosechu trying to comfort Sonichu now that Chris is dragged off by the police, and Sonichu lamenting the fact that he no longer has any parents.



A'ight, so Sonichu's first choice is Null, apparently. So far Null's dialogue is pretty spot on but any humor this scene would have had from the Null parody is kind of negated by Sonichu being as low-brow as fucking possible. Null's response would have been a perfect end to this interaction but alas, Sonichu continues to sexually harass Null until we get this.



It's "My Love Quest is finally over!"

So this version of Null hasn't learned anything from what happened with Chris and agrees to parent Sonichu. Although Null being Null, his idea of this is taking Sonichu out lolcow hunting. Y'know. Outdoors instead of on Twitter.



Again, who is your target audience here? And when has Jacob Sockness ever identified as trans? If this trans lady is supposed to look like Sockness, then how are you going to code them as trans? Why not just have this character BE Sockness instead of looking like him? You already have Null and Barb in this cartoon.



So Null gets creepy about a person hitting on Sonichu and considers that to be milk, Sonichu drugs them, and the Sockness lookalike feels better. The joke here is that this character is trans and mentally ill. And that's it. That's the entire joke. Haha.



Ruined what?

Null starts to dramatically melt like the Wicked Witch of the West over apparently losing out on lolcow content, and Sonichu just walks away without addressing the situation further.



I love how the script specifies what position they did the do in despite it not being on screen.



If you feel the need to apologize to Null for this, why did you include him? Yeah a lot of people who dedicate too much time to Chris are off their rocker but what does that say about the guy who wrote this? How is resurrecting Bob supposed to be any funnier than digging up Patti?

Where is the punchline for all of this?

 

I literally wouldn't have made this thread if he hadn't have done that.

 

Time to riff Ch 2.

God, this gag is both dated AND juvenile. MLP was at the height of it's obnoxious fandom in what, 2013? 2014 if we're being generous. Shock humor of character butchery against a fandom you don't like is not just tryhard, it's tired tryhard. You can go on deviantart and find thousands of old hate pieces from anti-fans killing whatever characters from a fandom they don't like.

This isn't original. It's also still not funny.

Anyways, Sonichu uses Twilight Sparkle's blood to res Rob Chandler from the dead. Sort of, anyways. It summons his ghost at least.



I feel like if Bob were alive to know about what happened, it would break him inside a little bit. You know who else is alive to know what happened? Barb. Because she went through it. Is this cartoon parodying Sonichu? Or is it a parody of somebody's rape? Michael What's-his-face, get some therapy, then go to some stand-up comedy shows. Learn how not to punch down.

So Ghost-Bob pulls a ghost gun and kills himself with it, which brings him back to life in a mortal body.

Bob was a neglectful parent that didn't know how to raise his autistic kid, but he had a backbone and was less likely to cave to whining. Sonichu (who I'm starting to feel is still an author-avatar despite being written by a new writer) literally tortured the ghost of a dead man with the knowledge that his son raped his wife and continues to insult him, yet Bob still caves to his whining... apparently.

You know, Rosechu doesn't have any parent figures right now either. But she runs on estrogen so the author probably doesn't care how she's handling all this.

The next day Bob tries to be a dad by teaching Sonichu how to plant a garden.

Sonichu actually has very little and also inconsistent characterization in the source material. You could have taken him in almost any direction you wanted (see literally every other Sonichu fan creation) to write some more creative comedy, but instead we get this "haha Chris drew porn of him!" Chris has also drawn himself raping Sonichu. Sonichu could be more empathetic of what happened to Barb, since you're so fucking insistent on having this story focus on that in a comedic framing.

Sonichu proceeds to destroy Bob's gardening equipment since it's not sex toys and therefore useless. He then repeats that all he was created for was fucking and fighting other characters. What then, I wonder, motivates him to seek out a parental figure? We get this from Bob.

I think if this by some fluke of fate or dimensional merge or whatever were to actually happen, Bob would become Chris's greatest A-Log and take him behind Patty's doghouse and deal with him Old Yeller style. No, this isn't a joke. Bob seems like the type to kill Chris if he knew Chris were to rape Barb.

Honestly, the idea of Bob posthumously learning about the events of last July is actually disturbing me. This is making my skin crawl. The things I do for riffing. But some "constructive criticism", it's not fucking funny if it's bringing people down.


How the fuck is this written in the style of an edgy highschooler but referencing shit that's dated by 10+ years? I had to google JD Salinger and I'm getting results from 2007-2010.



Just what Bella needs. To be featured in art or animation of any kind. I'm sure she'd hate that.

He's going to apologize at the end of every fucking script. If he means it, then he should take it as a sign that this project shouldn't have been published. If he doesn't mean it, he shouldn't be posting them.

Also Reldnach fails to kill Bella, spoiler alert.

 

Because he's a pseudo-intellectual moron that realizes that weens are easy attention also thinks that means they're good attention. He probably thinks that weens are just silly nonsense that come with the territory of making Chris related content and that he can just laugh them off.

But he's shown that he can't take legitimate good-faith criticism, so he'd be in for a rude awakening when the weens go for the throat.

 

Okay, I've been putting this off because it's not a priority, but it's also low-hanging fruit with blessedly short chapters, and if I can't finish riffing this then I can't probably finish anything I start.

Here we go, Chapter 3. Sonichu knocks on Mary Lee Walsh's door as phase 2 of his father quest. This is probably the most equal-opportunity this script has been so far, seeing that Sonichu is apparently willing to accept somebody to be his mother for him instead. Delightful.


Apparently this is the scene that the writer was pleased enough with to create art for his proof of concept. I believe it's his avatar on the forums as well.


I've said it before and I'll say it again, people need to stop dragging Mary Walsh into this shit. She is a real person, she spent her whole life making a career for herself, and all it took was one fucking idiot to get the internet to degrade her into a fan-service character. An *attempt* was made to portray her a bit more reasonably in the script, but then in the artwork we get exaggerated tits and a panty-shot.

I doubt she appreciates this trash coming up on google searches for her. There's no way she worked her whole life to build a career for herself for the world to remember her this way.

Anyways, me being mad on the internet aside, Sonichu gets on his knees and begs Mary Lee Walsh to take him in on the grounds of what Chris did to his mom. So yeah, using that for a joke again it looks like.


Oh wow, getting meta all up in here. Such intellectualism. Totally validates dragging her into yet another degrading animation.

Sonichu complains that he's still stuck on the first book he ever tried reading back in the 2000's, and Mary slams the door in his face. Sonichu decides to move on, this time choosing Billy Mays. But Billy Mays has been dead for eleven years, so we get this.



Next scene is Naitsirhc working on his production of medallions of his own making, using dark magic to summon a Twin Peaks reference, and reveals through his reflection in the monitor that he's possessed by Count Graduon. The scene after that is Punchy and Bionic hanging out at the loading docks(?) for the CWCkville mall and having an exposition dump about Punchy's backstory. I have nothing to say about it besides the fact that it's not interesting.



So in conclusion, this episode barely did anything, and we have another fauxpology to the people negatively affected by Chris. I guess it was mostly a set-up for episodes to come but considering the lack of funny jokes in what's supposed to be a parody, it really comes across as more of a failure to get to the point.