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My Inner Life

Discussion in 'Internet Fiction/Fanfiction' started by Henry Bemis, Feb 11, 2017.

  1. PsychoNerd

    PsychoNerd Just call me "Psycho"

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    The irony is that after she hooks up with Link, she is no longer this Xena wannabe. She becomes a literal femoid throughout the rest of the story.
     
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  2. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    The high screen resolution of the 3D models doesn't go well with the low resolution background. :confused:

    (that game looks better at 240p)
     
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  3. Ms. Mowz

    Ms. Mowz Obscure Mario series furry waifu

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    CHAPTER 1, PART 3: ZELDA'S FULL NAME IS ZELDA ZELDA, APPARENTLY
    Eh, I've seen better.
    Hoo boy, now THIS is the prose I've been looking forward. Just spending a chunk of the story to describe a character's appearance in unnecessary detail; this isn't even the worst offender in My Inner Life.
    Also, "tight and muscular" are not the words I would use to describe Link.
    I keep misreading Jenna's home as "The Great Lesbian Coast".
    And as a sidenote, I don't think Jenna knows how quotation marks work.
    Ah good. Nice to see that Link is just shallow as Jenna. I already know he wants to fuck be in a committed relationship with the Mary Sue entirely for her appearance.
    I like how Jenna felt the need to explain what the "Kokiri Forest Village Spring Festival" in a way that's already explained by the name.
    (I take it the book she was planning to read that night was "Naked Came The Stranger"?)

    This is what I think of when I see the name "King Zelda", only the SMB movie's idea of Mario and Luigi's last names make more sense then whatever the Hell King Zelda's name is supposed to be.
    Okay seriously, why is Jenna friends with THE FUCKING KING?! Link himself never even met that guy in Ocarina of Time, so why is Jenna buds with the fucking king that's never seen in-game (only mentioned), potentially due to being too busy with the affairs of his kingdom to noticed his daughter scheming with some forest boy to take care of Ganondorf (who feigned allegiance with the king, BTW; even then that could be explained by Ganondorf being of noble birth for the Gerudo, TBH).
     
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  4. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    Lebian Coast, sounds very... queer...

    Also, I always imagine the King being the king from the CD-I games because of course.

    Also, the fact Link calls Jenna "Mistress" I get it is supposed to be medieval and shit and back then it probably didn't have the connotations as it does now, but still...
     
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  5. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    Maybe the king invited her over for dinner (after the mystery of what's for dinner was solved of course).
     
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  6. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    How hungry is Jenna? Enough to eat an octorock?
     
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  7. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE Staff Member Moderator

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    Link is totally fem enough to attract a woman from the Lesbian Coast let's be real.
     
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  8. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    Yeah, I mean, didn't a woman play him in one of the old Zelda Japanese commercials?
     
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  9. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE Staff Member Moderator

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    There was also that Pikmin Link cosplayer that got featured at E3 or something.
     
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  10. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    Plus, a lot of boomers call him "Zelda" even though it is a girl's name
     
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  11. Ms. Mowz

    Ms. Mowz Obscure Mario series furry waifu

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    Okay, just to get this out of the way, I am so sorry for the extended downtime on this.
    CHAPTER 1, PART 4: DESCRIBING CLOTHES MY IMMORTAL STYLE
    Oh yeah, Jenna's parents died. Forgive me if I forgot about that, because I have a feeling this is never brought up again.
    I like how the king went from "ye olden day" English (that only The Great Deku Tree did, IIRC) only to immediately go back to normal(ish) English.
    I thought about it, but nah, I'm not going to steal Manwithoutabody's Minuet of Forest joke.
    DAYUM, WOMAN, SLOW DOWN!
    You have to at least get to know each other for about a year (at least) before you consider marriage!
    Uh oh. I sense a lengthy description of what she's wearing coming on.
    Called it. I feel like fanfic authors have this deeply hidden clothing fetish that I'm unaware of.
    That's it for now. Again, sorry this took too long.
     
  12. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    >"Legend of Zelda"
    >she barely shows up


    seems legit
     
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  13. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    So many triforces... Like, we get it, you are in Hyrule
     
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  14. Ms. Mowz

    Ms. Mowz Obscure Mario series furry waifu

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    CHAPTER 1, PART 5: IT'S TIME FOR SOME HORSE SPERGING
    You guys weren't kidding when you Link is a total himbo in this. He's just as shallow as Jenna.
    (Granted, it's not like he had a personality to begin with.)
    You could have said "brown" instead of "rust" when you were describing Epona. But I guess that's the least of this story's problems.
    Wait a second, "Star Dancer"?! What the fuck happened to Epona?! Was she just sent to a glue factory and Jenna forgot to mention this part of her dream?!
    In this section Jenna poorly tells us how to get to the Kokiri Village from Hyrule Castle Town while lusting over Link again.
     
  15. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE Staff Member Moderator

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    I love horses but people really do make up stupid overly romantic names for them. The name "Star Dancer" makes me want to gag but I guarantee there's no small number of horses with that name in the US. I also like that her dream version of Hyrule is still so tiny that they can get from Hyrule Castle Town to Kokiri Village in a few minutes on horseback.

    I'm not gonna hate on her going into detail about what her character is wearing, I just wish these fanfic authors would go into detail about everything else too.
     
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  16. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    What about naming a horse a heretical name like "Skulls For The Skull Throne"?
     
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  17. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE Staff Member Moderator

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    The horse would get a nickname but I have seen registered names that long.
     
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  18. Ms. Mowz

    Ms. Mowz Obscure Mario series furry waifu

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    CHAPTER 1, PART 6: KOKIRI ARE MIDGETS THAT LOOK LIKE CHILDREN
    Why is this description so damn funny to me? Like, couldn't she have gone with something like "children wearing green clothes", or Hell, even just "children"? Why did she go with "little people wearing green clothes that look like children"? Just...why?
    Link: Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you that I lived in a forest for most of my life. I'm not going to bother explaining shit, so just talk about the fairies you're seeing.
    "Fairies from the fairy tales". No, really? Also, apparently only Hyrule has fairies in Jenna's dream world.
    Saria just accepts the fact that her lifelong friend is now engaged to some random woman she just met because Mary Sue. Also, going to call BS on Mido being a "dear friend" to Link, considering he hated him for a good chunk of Ocarina of Time's events, only apologizing once he saved the forest as an adult.
    OoT_Mido_Model.png
    Clearly somebody with a sense of humor, right there.
    WHERE AND HOW THE FUCK DID THE KOKIRI GET THIS FOOD TO BEGIN WITH?!
    Seriously, she just named a bunch of dishes that couldn't have possibly been natural to the Lost Woods, and the Kokiri can't even leave the forest because they would die otherwise. So, how did they get this food? Do I just have to assume that the Great Deku Tree just shat it all out of some wooden Asshole of his, or something?
     
  19. Fialovy

    Fialovy Skeleman Warrior

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    I am glad the pork and turkey is cooked, that is what I was kind of worried about.
     
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  20. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat wat

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    What if they're high on shrooms and think they're eating such foods, when it's really berries or leaves?
     
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