Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles

Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles is a Harry Potter fanfic from an Evangelical Christian point of view. Each House (or hat, as it's called within the story) represents a different sect of Christianity. However, the only one where the denomination represented is clear is the Slytherin hat, which appears to be Roman Catholic. Possible Trollfic. Its author claims it was written because her children wanted to read Harry Potter, but she didn't, and I swear this is a direct quote, "want them turning into witches." What follows are 14 chapters of hilariously bad writing, misunderstanding of Christian doctrines, inappropriately-placed semicolons, and sheer WTF factor. AND IT'S GLORIOUS. It must be read to be believed.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10644439/1/Hogwarts-School-of-Prayer-and-Miracles

 

Which hat is the mormons

 

It's a troll fic. The last chapter has atheist!Voldemort delete his Reddit account, and Snopes has denounced it. http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/harrypotter.asp

 

I don't know. Like I said, it's unclear which hat is which faith.

 

I really hope this is a trollfic and no parent ever has tried to use it as a worthy, christian substitue of the original HP books.

Otherwise, I love it how she tries to take magic away from HP, yet the first thing we see as soon as they leave his house and every single time they pray feels more like plain old magic than anything we see in the real books. The lazy fucks can't even do anything by themselves without having The Lord do it for them!

Besides, this Proudhousewive woman insists on making all adult male characters overly manly and virile for some reason. I guess her Proudhousehusband isn't interesting enough for her anymore?


Also...

Spoiler

The Dawkins!

 

So yeah, like it was said before this thing is clearly made by a troll. In the last chapter it gets weirdly self-aware and pretty much delves into being a commentary on Poe's Law.
Still, I find kinda worrying (or amusing, depending on how you look at it) the idea that some uptight christian parent tried to keep their children from reading Harry Poteter gave this to them instead.

 

I thought after "Harry Potter Turns to the Lord" that there wouldn't be another (better) religious Harry Potter fic. I was wrong.

I love how magic is replaced with praying to the Lord (as long as you say the magic word: "please") and things are just given to them, they're automatically whisked away to where they want to go, or things like conversion just happening immediately. It's so stupid, but I can't help adoring it. Same goes with the Weasleys being Slytherins. Talk about turning the Ron the Death Eater trope on its head. Trollfic or not (hoping it's the former even with Snopes saying so), this was a funny read.

Was a hard pick because it was such a wonderful read, but probably my favorite lines ever: "Harry Potter laughed intelligently; because Voldemort did not even understand proper spelling and grammar", and "They knew that, if they screamed loud enough, they could change the world." Might just be the self-awareness of it all, though.

The reviews seem to all be hung up on how Dumbledore in the fic isn't gay and that he and Professor McGonagall are married. It's really more hilarious than the fic itself.

 

I loved/hated it how absolutely everything Dean Thomas said was said intelligently, smartly or wisely, even though it was all just very basic observations, affirmations or monosylabic words with no insight or reasonement behind them at all. Talk about overly exposing a character trait without doing anything at all to build or develop it.

I also found it hilarious how it always was Harry, Hermione, Dean Thomas........ and Ronald. Pretty sure they're even called a trio at some point!

Oh, and the fact that chapter 12 for some arbitrary rason is just called "Chapter 12", even though all the other chapters have titles.