Faithful Hearts

I'm not sure which is worse, the stiff tail or the idea of using a slashing weapon underwater.
This one is not better.

 

Okay. I'm sick which means I'm not at work and also have a bunch of free time to waste, so Chapter 18, here we go.
Chapter 18: Detour
The entire fucking fanfiction has been nothing but a detour so far-- wait, there's a character limit so I probably shouldn't be riffing the chapter titles.

Hahaha you know your fanfic is boring when your main character falls asleep from boredom.

Marina tries to draw attention to her tits. Silver is not impressed.

You know, being the daughter of a high chancellor should come with some work of it's own. She should have had plenty of opportunities to do some charity work, political work, and just making some sort of difference in the world. She would have had the chances to accomplish a lot more than sitting around a castle playing pretend in the woods. Instead she got years of sword training and is still at the level of "a long way to go" and "proving herself". Bitch, you're thirty two, what did you waste your 20's doing?

This exchange reveals so much of what is wrong with the world building in this fanfiction. "Wouldn't be fair if they found information before we do." Why not? Knowledge is power, if the people of other worlds knew more about nightmares, they'd know more about how to defend themselves from them. In fact, Donald brings up this point; "They already have someone to defend them." Most of the worlds should! Atlantica has magic, surely there are already merfolk that know how to use it. Same with Agrabah. Arendelle has a military. The Terran Empire has a MASSIVE military. Vegas has the U.S. military, arguably the biggest one of all.

So then, why are you on this adventure in the first place? Looking for the "alphas" or something? Jee, wouldn't exchanging information with these other worlds that should be capable taking care of themselves with or without your help be critical in solving this stupid prophecy? Maybe they know things about defending themselves against nightmares that you don't and could use to protect the magic kingdom. MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE ASKING THEM FOR HELP AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

To put this in the words of Marina Seadrift herself; "Gah!"

This would sever his foot. Unless he has an adamantium skeleton, he's not okay.

Isn't it supposed to be closer to the Magic Kingdom than the Tristate Area or whatever?

So you can make up a convoluted space-time system that nobody cares about so you can justify going to worlds of different eras (rather than just making them WORLDS like in kingdom hearts, we could have accepted that) but you can't develop them at all? Like who would live there besides the vanilla movie cast? Or how they interact with eachother? Dem priorities.

 

Ugh, hearing Marina baby-talk...

From what I understand about Scrooge in Disney Cannon, he's apparently a deep, complex character. (No, seriously.) But I doubt it will be addressed beyond useless exposition to show that Marina is related to and friends with everybody rich and famous in this universe. We didn't even get to hear this information from Donald, his actual blood relative.

Uah oh. Is Marina going to have to learn have to deal with difficult circumstances?

Of course not.

No, Goofy. They aren't. I don't know how well rested you think Donald was when he fought in WWII, but even Mickey knows how to pointlessly punish himself by working without sleep. There will be times where a good night's rest is a luxury, ESPECIALLY living on a ship where the crew has to work on and off round the clock. Marina should learn to deal with it and git gud at fighting and working on low energy.

We end on a soup-eating scene with Marina fangirling over Darkwing Duck. Nothing important happens, but we do get this little tidbit:

I feel like the roles here should have been reversed. Donald is the one with more experience with dealing with tough situations, Marina is not. Marina has been the one to whine about every discomfort so far, and Donald has always been the one with his priorities straight.

Well that chapter was delightfully short. On to the stupid Darkwing Duck arc.

 

I think it's a concept that's really hard to pull off, since Orcas are pretty stiff and fatty looking compared to most fish, so any mermaid drawn as one that still has a "hip" as flexible as a human's is going to look like they have a broken spine. And you know any artist with an OC like Marina (vs a serious fantasy artist that would put any thought into how the creatures in their art work or are meant to be built) isn't going to give it much thought, they just want their character to have a "cool" but pretty mermaid form so they don't blend the human and the whale together very well.

 

It's been a while. Chapter 19: St. Canard.

I want the disney channel shit to be done.

For the record, it's night time now. And also, "A hockey puck flew out of the watch tower". I didn't watch this show as a kid so I don't know much about this character, but why is the duck girl practicing hockey indoors at night? Is that a thing she would do?

How does this not pale in comparison to your first ever space travel for that matter? You've entered a city that you've lived close to your whole life. I doubt it would be that impressive. Also, the "hot dog!" Mickey Mouse talk isn't endearing coming from Marina. She stops later, doesn't she?

I'm beginning to wonder if this taking off and acting like a tourist shit is supposed to be a giant "fuck you" to Silver, who isn't even there. Marina must be really salty about that whole "this isn't a vacation cruise" thing. Also, notice how Goofy says "'em" and "they" where as Donald only talks about Marina? Donald has crossed the event horizon that is Marina's Mary Sue black hole.

I think anyone over the age of seven or eight that gets excited over shit like that, especially when there's no visible effects of anything happening or small children to entertain, probably has autism. Dale and Marina confirmed for being on the spectrum.

This is my favorite part of this whole fanfiction. I love every part of this paragraph. Even the "as the business man his way down the bridge" typo. The whole thing is glorious and fantastic.

What... what am I reading? No, seriously I legitimately can't tell what's going on here.

Just when I think I might understand what's going on here, I get thrown for another loop.
Chip: "That plane flies crazy."
Dale: "It's a person!"
Marina: " !!!"

Spoiler: ???

-On google break. Back in 5 min-

HOKAY! Launchpad, also known as LP, is a duck. This duck.

I... really don't care beyond that. I'm going to go back to pretending he is a structure belonging to United Launch Alliance.

Wait, I thought there was a plane-- nevermind. Okay, a lot of shit I don't understand is happening. I'm guessing this is another major character that the entire party happens to already know. So at this point I have to ask, why do all the characters belonging to these worlds find them first? Why doesn't Marina and Co. ever go out of their way to find their friends instead?

Would the scene be as comedic if Marina got hit by a motorcycle? I mean in-universe, not for us.

I... uh... listen, usually I'm into seeing what characters have to say regarding things that have nothing to do with Marina but this... I don't know or care about these characters. As somebody who never got into Darkwing Duck, this is getting really difficult to trudge through.

I'm cutting this chapter here. Usually I'm splitting the posts for the sake of the word count, but for this arc, I just need a break.

 

Whoops, did I accidentally let three months pass before continuing my riff of this chapter? Silly me~

I don't have much to say here. For a Darkwing Duck fanfiction, I guess this would be par for the course.

This scene:

So Donald is more of a cockblock than the fact that there's three of you gunning for one girl, or her dad happening to be there?

Hey yeah this part sure is interesting!
-Is totally reading the fanfiction and not distracted by "Lemme Smash" bird videos-

The reason it's not embarassing to hug Marina when it was for Donald is that hugging is a great chance to feel up Marina's tits.

Um... who gave this pilot his license again? (I bet it was Mickey.)

Yet another man who has more chemistry with Marina than Silver does.

I'm guessing secret identities aren't important in this universe? Launchpad just blabbed this to six people. All of which are probably going to tell Silver.

He didn't ask.

 

I think one of the most annoying things about this fanfiction is how everyone seems to know or have heard of eachother before. I mean, Lord Seadrift has an important position of government, sure. But let's apply this to real-world logic, shall we?

Let's say you are not from England, and some young man with an English accent walks up to you and says "Hi, I'm John Lidington*." Are you going to say, "Son of Chancellor Lidington, I presume?" Probably not. Odds are you don't even know who the high chancellor of England IS at the moment; let alone who their kids are.

On a similar note, say you're throwing a party and it is crashed by members of a local gang you were hearing about. Then one of the people living in your house is rescued by somebody you don't recognize, who introduces themselves as Marlon Peterson*. ...Are you going to know who that is off the top of your head? Really? You're telling me you WOULDN'T recognize the name of a convicted murderer who now spends his days working with charity and being an activist for equality? Huh, funny that everyone would for a certain cyborg pirate-turned-privateer that never actually accomplished anything noteworthy.

Darren Seadrift and John Silver are not from Duckberg or the Magic Kingdom. In Darren's case, I'll give it a pass for anyone living in Mickey's castle because his daughter is also living there, and he's a close friend of Mickey. However, for somebody living in Duckberg and this other city (Yes I already forgot the name and I don't care to look it up right now) they have their own local governments and likely local celebrities that are going to take their focus. Unless Lord Seadrift does something that affects their communities in a big way, most people aren't going to have heard of him, and they DEFINITELY wouldn't know who Marina is by name.

In Silver's case, he's going to be even less well known than Lord Seadrift. The only pirates that gained infamy were the ones who killed a lot of people in a short amount of time, or the ones who were nobility. Silver is not a nobleman, and he hasn't seem to have done anything noteworthy other than finding treasure planet. Though if word of that got out, it would be Jim and Dr. Doppler (and maybe Captain Amelia) who get the credit for it, not the chef on the ship that lead the mutiny, triggered the booby trap that destroyed treasure planet, and then escaped. I'm sure if anything, Jim and Amelia would want to keep that on the down-low so they don't look like they were either incompetent or aiding a criminal. So even if there were rumors about Silver, they wouldn't be going very far from a few spaceports in the Terran Empire.

And no, I'm not done with this rant yet, sorry. If none of these characters have heard of eachother (this doesn't count for characters like Darkwing Duck and Launchpad because they aren't contributing much to the overall plot) then it would actually add a little bit of intrigue. How is Marina and Co. going to react once they find out Silver was once a pirate? How is Silver going to react when he finds out that this woman he picked up in a far-away kingdom is the daughter of the High Chancellor of his home nation? I mean after all, he'd likely be on the run from the Terran Empire and here's one of their potentially (well, she could be if she tried) influential citizens on his ship! Not to mention, not having heard of eachother beforehand gives Silver and Marina a chance to be strangers and actually get to know one another, and give their relationship an actual base as they do so.

*Chancellor David Lidington is the current High Chancellor of England and he has four sons, though I can't find their names. I guess one of them COULD be named John. Marlon Peterson is also a real ex-convict that spent 10 years in jail and is now trying to do some good in the world.

That is a damn-near dangerous slip up. Launchpad does not need to be on a superhero team.

I... hmmm... Meh. I'd argue to let Darkwing do his thing, but he already has incompetents like Launchpad working for him so Marina and Co. couldn't hurt.

You know what I would do if I was the author? I'd let the nightmares really fuck up a city somewhere. I'm talking like, Castlevania or Game of Thrones-tier carnage. Let this event kill off a character that our heros actually know and care about. Then we won't have to deal with bullshit like random teenagers going "Yeah yeah, nightmare attack and all but let me see your sweet phone!"

...But you just met him.