What's Gonna Happen When Chris Finally Dies?

While Chris does seem genetically disposed to live a long and unhealthy life, some of the things Chris does to his body are potentially lethal. While Chris does seem to be born with an uncanny ability to get out of whatever trouble he gets himself into, that luck could run out any day. Chris's use of estrogen is especially dangerous. Not only has he started using the drug without a doctor's opinion, he's been slathering himself with it rather than applying it in small quantities on the arm. This could have short and long term side effects that dramatically shorten his life.

TLDR: fatty could O.D. on estrogen.

 

Chris hasn't used that cream in a while, it was too expensive to buy(he did ask people to send him some). I think if there is a danger from self medicating, it will be from Chris buying something online that is cheap and fake, but we don't have any evidence to think that Chris is doing anything like that. He has bought vitamins and things like that from eBay, but those are usually placebos.

 

Chris already set his house on fire. The chances of this happening again and everyone dying are high, especially with Barb's clutter being prime kindling material.

 

Chris has been complaining of heart pains (remember that steel-plated heart thing?), while claiming it's stress and emotion related. I don't think there's much time left.

 

Chris will die the way he lived, shitting his pants.

 

I wouldn't doubt if a lot of trolls and followers would pitch in for a decent funeral for Chris. What I wonder is who out of his family is gonna step up to the plate and take on actually arranging everything. If nobody does I'm guessing Chris is getting buried in a potter's field paid for by the state.

 

I would donate to Chris' funeral. But I live to far from VA to attend.

I have a feeling that his funeral would be interrupted by shouts of JULAY and other ween crap. And it would probably all get uploaded to the internet.

 

I'd go to his funeral.

 

If I was in the area and had the opportunity to do so, I'd attend his funeral. Hell, I'd make a trip out of it and see the sights in Charlottesville in addition to attending Chris's funeral.

 

i'm going with @Aldora 's idea
Chris probably has some pretty decent genetics in him (besides the autism)
Both his parents lived into their 70's and 80's on mcdonalds and through the hoard, so i'd say, even in horrible hygiene and with a hole in his abdomen he still has a few decades left, maybe more if he actually starts working and eating healthier, like that'll ever happen though right?
I think Barb will go first though, she's old, unwell and mostly uncaring at this point, unless some hoard related accident happens again

 

I thought this was going to be the FUNeral copypasta based on the title.
Honestly I really hope Chris turns their life around before they die. I think once Barb passes on they'll finally attempt to reconcile with the real world, get a job, and work on their social skills somewhat. In a lot of ways it seems like Barb tries to hold them back and keep them as her "baby". It's clear that while Chris does have issues they're capable of a lot more.

 

The CWCki would probably hold a special page on Chris' funeral. The Kiwi, assuming it doesn't get taken down, will hold some mourning as would this site. The Kiwi would probably still be around, focusing on other lol-cows of questionable quality while this forum ether dies off or lives off other threads.

Barb's more likely to die due to old age unless Chris health takes a nosedive from things like the unclit and his eating habits.

I dunno what year Chris will die. I'd probably give him five years as a complete guess.

Dunno if Chris will try to postpone his death. I'm sure he'd complain about it.

I don't know who would go to his funeral outside of anyone living nearby who might have some pity for him. Family members could go but his relations with Cole are strained.

Chris's love quest would never be complete.

To do that, Chris would have to really come to terms with reality. While he can be capable of working and having something of a social life, he'd have to do something about his own behavior.

 

Even after he dies, I'm sure some moron will still try to get his tugboat revoked.

 

No doubt you'll have A-Logs thinking a great scourge was removed from the Earth, never mind that was Chris has done in Virginia is potatoes to what Saddam did.

 

Probably likely. Longevity is absolutely genetic

No way, there will be a statue erected of the cover of issue 0 with a plaque below with his epitaph that will say "go out sonichu, go out and zap to the extreme"