Chris is out - Cryptid Saga

I don't think they would just let an inmate use a smartphone. It was probably confiscated when he was arrested.

 

So, Chris is out.

But who is in?

 

Why do I have this image in my head of Chris Chan jumping towards a truck so he can be isekaied into his Cwcville world and out of the eyes of the law?

 

Crazy to think that Chris had something resembling actual prospects before this. Bear with me.

Consider the position he basically stumbled into: just by "being himself," Chris garnered something of a cult following. He didn't have admirers, but people wanted to talk about him. To share his weird comic, to make fanart and write books comparing him to famous artists, to put him on Smiling Friends, etc. There was even an amount of actual sympathy. He was an honest-to-god minor celeberty. A celeberty who's famous for being a literal manchild, but still.

If Chris had just embraced his e-infamy and coasted off of it, I think he probably could have built something decent for himself and maybe even his mother, and people might have overlooked the attempted vehecular manslaughter or the sexual harassment.

Despite everything he has (and has not) done, he was basically handed a golden opportunity to salvage something out of his trainwreck of a life, and then he decided to perform sex acts on his elderly mother.

What an asshole.

 

As it's been said on Geno's comments before:
Chris's life is the embodiment of the phrase 'it gets worse'.
He seems to have some divine-inspired ability to always do the wrong thing in a scenario.

 

Also he could've just done a hooker instead, but that required car trip, and Barb was right there.

Like I said, 3 biggest trolls in Tale of Fail are "Honor Roll" Stupidity, Obese Ego, and "Bent Duck" Libido.

Or statistically, someone out there had to be the one who always chose wrong - and IBA happened to be them?

(the Tale of Fail was from of a "perfect storm" of crappy factors)

 

I do wonder where Christory would be now if the incest never happened. Another round of trolling, or would he potentially be doing a little better for himself?
Then again, considering he always makes the wrong decision, I get the sense that's optimistic.

I feel like if he'd gone to the brony convention he would've either:
(a) had RAGE over the new gen merch and assaulted someone
(b) gotten kicked out for inappropriately touching people a la TooManyGames

With Chris, all roads lead to Rome fail.

 

fixed?

 

He already used a hooker though plus they cost money and Chris always had fantasies and sexual dreams about Barb and even spooned her in bed after Bob died. It was only a matter of time and when her cognitive ability started to go, that was the perfect time for Chris to do what he always wanted to do for years.

 

then the Jail of Fail was an inevitability in the Life of Fail

(unless Bob was somehow still around)

 

Even without the incest saga, Chris is living on borrowed time until his debts implode and the bank takes 14 BLC.

 

seems there's no timeline where he "just won" because he's him

 

I think Chris still can do really hot if he moves to North Korea, he can land on a governament job, i bet they could use him on movies as anti-american propaganda tool.

 

I still can't believe that Viper pulled it off.

 

news on KF:

(page 119 of the "Mar-27-2023 - Chris is out of custody" thread, post #2,377)

So either a group home or another mental hospital stay?