YT 4/7 - Sonic Totem and More

Yeah, that is totally worth $1500... Let me get my check book Chris

 

Some idiot bought it.

link

 

^^ Is this just a troll move where people put in a bid and back out or did someone for real put up actual money?


My favorite part is how he puts up a ridiculously long and confusing set of instructions at 2:04 and gives us two seconds to read them.

 

Skyraider!

 

wat

Spoiler

That certainly won't validate trying to sell and overcharge for stuff in the future. No siree.

 

No good will come of this.

 

If this sale actually goes through, look for Chris to pawn off some of his other surviving pieces of artwork from his high school days the next time money becomes tight. And should he ever start selling medallions again, look for an asking price of three figures a pop.

 

I'll be shocked if this is a legit sale and not just, as I said before, a ween going "HUR DUR, I'M BACKING OUT OF THE SALE! JULAY! TROLL'D! LOLZ! ZAP TO THE EXTREME!"

 

Fucking hell, i can't believe the LEGENDARY SONIC TOTEM is being sold. And the fact that he is still trying to sell those damn stamps. I'm literally tempted to say "dude just sell them to a stamp collector". 1,500 bucks asking for the sonic totem is crazy as well.

 

YEAH NO. YEAH FUCK NO. Nobody in their right mind is going to want that abomination in their house. If I had it I'd be terrified of going to sleep only to wake up to find that it had moved to another part of the house during the night.

Nah, nah. See. . .it's a Horcrux, one of seven. Here me out.

Horcrux the First = The Sonic Plushie. After deciding to change his name to Christian he decided to do away with his former self for good. Using his newly discovered Anchuent Powers, he split his soul for the first time and sealed Christopher Weston Chandler within it. It was destroyed in the fire.

Horcrux the Second = The Ammny-Fest Ring. Upon the realization that he wasn't getting all the awards he wanted at his High School Graduation, Chris' torment was so great that in his anger he split his already damaged soul once again, and then, to nullify the pain, he sealed away the tormented fragment within his ring. It was said that if anyone were to gaze into the amethyst jewel on his ring, they would see an image of teenage Chris still in his graduation robes looking back at them in hatred, flickering slightly in the light. This horcrux he still has, though the fragment within is disfigured beyond all recognition due to the events that occurred after the destruction of his third horcrux.

Horcrux the Third = The Original Sonichu Medallion. Shortly after creating Sonichu and the infamous city of CWCville, Chris desired a sonichu form of his own. He desired it so much that, in a case of reckless abandon he split his soul for the third time, bending and twisting it around before sealing into his Medallion, so that whenever he desired he could use it's life force to manifest himself as Chris-Chan Sonichu. This horcrux to his horror was destroyed by a troll. Chris would go on to claim that all his powers actually came from his ring, but the truth was that after the destruction of his third Horcrux, Chris hastily used his anchuent powers to twist the fragment of himself within the ring to use for his transformation.

Horcux the Fourth = The Heart Torch. Within his fictional city Chris has power, he had his fur-sona sonichu transformation, but lacked one of the other things he wanted most. Crystal. Whether Crystal was meant to be his daughter or his sister even Chris didn't know at that point. Having already split his soul three times his mind had long since started to become fragmented as well. Nevertheless, that didn't stop Chris from splitting his soul yet again and sealing it within the Heart Torch, where it would later manifest as his twin sister Crystal. This horcrux was destroyed in the fire.

Horcrux the Fifth = Patti Chandler. Quite possibly, Chris' dog Patti might have been the only living Chris truly had love for other than his parents, and conversely might have been the only living thing to truly love him back besides his parents. During Patti's final days, Chris (ignoring the dangers of doing so for the fifth time) split his soul again and made her into his fifth horcrux by placing the only part of his soul that knew how to love within her. When Patti died, Chris used that portion of himself in secret to cling on to the smallest, tiniest bit of Patti's soul at it departed. With the utmost care Chris threw the fragment of his soul mingled with that of patti's into the CWCville portal in his room, where it arrived and still continues to live on in his city as Patti-Chan.

Horcrux the Sixth = Liquid Chris, the Horcrux he never intended to make. Back when Solid Chris (He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Called-Ian-Brannon-Something) was powerful, the evil imposter made a video where he tried to curse the true and honest Chris Chan away. But, in an act of true love, Kacey leapt in front of Liquid as the video played and took the curse herself. Her selfless act caused the curse to rebound on Solid, destroying him almost completely and, unbeknownst to Liquid, sealing a broken part of Solid's soul within him. After regaining a rudimentary body thanks to the effort of a rat-like sonichu, Solid Chris was reborn after using fragments of his fathers bones, one of the rat-like sonichu's hands, and blood forcefully taken from Liquid after shooting him in both legs. Thankfully, the fragment within Liquid was destroyed by Solid's own hand after Liquid selflessly allowed himself to be cursed to save Kasey. In the final battle, Solid met his end when his own Curse-Ye-Ha-Me-Ha rebounded on himself.

And finally. . .

Horcrux the Seventh = The Sonic Totem. Sometime before Chris became Christine, he had started to panic. He realized that by maiming and tearing his soul apart so many times he had made himself weak. It was becoming harder and harder to resist his homoerotic urges, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he completely fell to the gay side. And he could not let that happen. He was Christian Weston Chandler. He had to remain pure. He couldn't even write his sonichu comics--he couldn't even get himself a job because his every waking moment needed to be spent trying to resist the gay urges. And the best way was by distracting himself with toys and video games. But it wasn't working anymore. The body he had wasn't going to last. It would become tainted, it would become spoiled. He would need to start over. And so, in an effort to preserve his strait purity, Christian Weston Chandler split his soul for the seventh time, sealing the pure and strait CWC into his Sonic Totem, leaving the rest of his fragmented mind and body to transform into Christine Weston Chandler. And now the time as come. Christine is selling off her Sonic Totem, in the hopes that in exchange for more money to buy toys with, the Totems new owner will love it so much that Christian Weston Chandler will be able to leave the totem and take over the new owners body, thus re-birthing himself anew, free from his mother, free to finally continue his ever continuing Love Quest.

And so only three fragments remain. . .

The ring, the totem, and the last bit inside Christine herself. Anyone hoping to finally put an end to the evil of CWC must first destory the ring and totem.

 

10/10 post, truly the finest kind of autism.

 

I feel like the tacked-on Skylanders egowank crap completely nullifies any self awareness displayed by offering the totem for sale. He doesn't realize that Skylanders is an insipid cash-grab that doesn't appeal to anyone else over the age of 12.

 

I'm betting the buyer happens to be Kiwi Farms' very one ween, IslamicContent (or any one of his hundreds of socks).
Or it could be Weeny Tran trying to be funny again.

 

I hope that whoever bought it passes it down through their family for generations, so that the world never knows peace from it.

 

I bet the person is going to do a chargeback and then he will be $400 in debt due to the necklace :ween:

 

Honestly, I'm hoping it was a ween and they're going to back out of the deal. Because I don't want Chris to get that much money. i know he'll blow through that money, but I prefer chris hurting financially and looking down the barrel of a gun. I mean he's already banking on relics of fail to extend his lifestyle, but he's only got so many of those.

 

So, Dstecks bought the totem eh?

 

Or maybe it's being shipped to Rhode Island?

 

About the same as shipping it to Maradonia.