Meta What If?

yeah, that would be hilarious. The closest thing we got was the Garfield Eats guy who made his own Sonichuesque OC known as Natefield which is a shame

 

Remember the entrepreneur who tried to make licensed Garfield pizza restaurants?

 

How different would things be if Borb never "gave the birth"? The lolcow claimed he "was a miracle" being born to an older couple, so Borb being a childless couple may have easily been a reality. Definite changes to timeline: someone else would've "just won" those sweepstakes, there'd be no CWCki, and this site would either be called something else or wouldn't be online.

 

Th

They probably would have been happier without a special needs kid that they weren’t ready for.

 

What if Chris Chan got Takened, like in the movie Taken?

 

IIRC on KF or CF, it was guessed that had Borb not conceived, they likely would have split.

It was brought up how distant Borb seemed, especially when Chob relocated during the Manchester High days -- to avoid special education or a mental institution -- while Barb stayed behind.

 

What if in Grand Theft Auto IV, 2008 classic era Chris visiting Liberty City was a Strangers & Freaks mission? Complete with his own wacky series of side missions.

Bonus points if Luis Lopez and Johnny Klebitz have to encounter him too.

 

What if, Liquid Chris REALLY was Christian Weston Chandler, and the REAL Sonichu stories he wrote not only exist, but are brilliant? And all this time we've been buying into Ian Brandon Anderson's bootleg bullshit....

 

What if Chris started making disgusting and low effort cooking videos to try and break into a new niche? Maybe he'd set his house on fire again from being irresponsible, knowing how bad he is at this shit. It'd probably be some Homer Simpson setting the cereal on fire sort of shit, knowing him.

 

I don't know, we already have Jack Scalfani for that

 

He could also get into the mukbang space and go toe-to-toe, pound-for-pound with Nikocado Avocado. Whether it's eating fast food, candy, or cum, they would each give each other a (metaphorical) run for their money.

 

Thank you for that disgusting imagery, mate.

 

I'm surprised he hasn't done this yet. This sounds disgusting enough to be a plausible real Chris video, even though I know that it hasn't happened.

Chris has eaten McDonald's in a lot of videos, both at home and at a Mickey D's in Charlottesville he was filming at, but he doesn't go to that extent on camera, thankfully.

 

He has appealed to fetishes in the past. Remember Jessica Quinn?

 

I wish I didn't.

 

She ditched that lolcow before that pony movie date.

 

Related to me and Kong's previous what ifs:

What if Chris did a collaboration food review with Nikocado Avocado? I apologize in advance to anyone I have traumatized with this horrendous thought.

 

The Chris / Magi-chan / Mewtwo / Nikocado / Nikocado's husband polycule would be intense.

Unrelated, I do wonder what Chris' trajectory looks like in a world where the Idea Guys don't make him completely break from it into the Merge garbage.

 

Imagine if they did a fast food review that wasn't McDonald's. Then all bets would be off. Like the MAD doctrine when nuclear weapons get into the hands of non-state actors.

As for a "What if?" on if the Idea Guys never influenced Chris and worsened his delusions, like if Chris had ignored their attempts at contact? I think a lot of the events between 2017-2020 would've consisted a lot more of Chris doing stupid shit of his own volition without outside influence. However that wouldn't have been completely the case still, since you still would've had other buddy troll goobers like the Teen Troon Squad and those Praetor fuckos. Jacob Sockness still would've been a thing too for that matter. So would other merry bands of asshats like the Watchmen, which gave us clowns like the Wildcat, MKRNightVee, and Naught. Worst of all, I think that absolute freak Bella Janke still would've been in the picture.

I think the true beginning of the dark ages of Christory, 2021, would have been largely the same, just with Chris being less openly delusional. I think the worst of it, like the over a month of incest in June and July, still would have happened. Since Chris started doing that revolting shit on his own without any outside influence, and he only told people about it after it was already going on.

He just would've been a lot less pre-occupied with incomprehensible garbage like the Dimensional Merge, which he's believed in for over 14 years, but the Idea Guys certainly made far worse. Like when that bonehead Ethan Ralph trekked all the way over to Charlottesville and hung out around that motel, just to see and film Chris getting arrested. That would've been mostly the same, except Chris in handcuffs wouldn't have been droning on about the merge and saying "It's happening right now" as he was being arrested.

I find it pretty poetically ironic and very telling that Ethan Ralph of all people would use CWC to shamelessly chase clout like that. I've never cared about Ralph and his antics, and I've never actively followed him, so I know very little about him. What I do know about Ethan Ralph is enough for me to know that he is even more pathetic and even more deranged than classic era Chris was.