Legal Jail Letters (ITT: More Evidence Chris Nuttier than Squirrel Shit)

I'm definitely putting this through the AI

 

At one point, Kengle called that freakish style "manga" for some reason.

Maybe to fit in with "one of the cool kids"?

 

Chris's obese ego is always frustrating to watch, and this (really, just the whole "downfall saga") is probably the most aggrivating example yet. I probably shouldn't get upset at Chris at this point, but the fact that this asshole thinks that he has the right to boss his 'fans' around like this is ridiculous. Let me explain exactly why I'm so pissed:

Chris has never had any real "fans" but people enjoyed following him. They put time and effort into sonichu fan projects. The Real Sonichu, (which has been going on for years) the countless works of fanart, the many spoofs of Sonichu #0's cover, the chris chan/warhol book, the covers of his songs, the animations, the fanfiction, all of it.

And then Chris decides to take a massive shit all over it.

The countless hours of work and the passion that went into all of them, now serve in hidsight as uncomfortable tributes to a depraved sexual predator. Not only that, but he also lied to everyone about what he did (nobody believes him but it's the principle of it that pisses me off) and after all of that, he tries to dictate what far better artists do with his shitty bootleg (not that anyone would want to at this point,) demands that you worship him and never say anything negative about him ever and he's also Jesus Christ reincarnated. To be fair, I shouldn't be surprised at this point. Chris has established a habit of being horrible to the people who do any kind of favor for him.

Call me an A-log for this, but I really want to be a fly on the wall when he sees just how much people hate him now. I at least hope he realizes it before he dies.

 

Grand Dad* is a better "bootleg" of Mario (and Fred Flintstone) than "Sonichu" is of Sonic and Pikachu.

Spoiler: *

*([Vinesauce] Joel - Reaction to "7 GRAND DAD" - YouTube)

 

Anyone that's paid enough attention to Chris over the years would have to have some resentment regardless of trolls and all, especially if they paid attention to what Chris has done beyond just being trolled. The sexual predator shit would seal it all and even then some had to of called it after seeing things like the last set of emails to Megan in justifying shecameforcwc.

 

There's a transcript on the CWCki now.

 

"For if thou all are not able to discern Temptations Lies and Drama from what True and Fact, Ultimately, thou all wouldst be in deep shit and troubles, indeed."

-God

If there's one good thing to come out of this whole thing, it's that you can do that with any Chris quote and it becomes a lot funnier.

 

Honestly, Chris contradicts himself less frequently and in much smaller ways than the Bible does. For an all-powerful and all-knowing being, God is shit at keeping his story straight.

 

Chris really likes overusing commas, like this, for example.

They're the new semicolons.

 

Or the new "x-to-y" thing that he used to write.

"I need someone to be my girlfriend-to-sweetheart."

 

Also the stilted way he speaks of the imaginary friends makes them sound like some kind of exceptional formal council.

 

That's because they are. Didn't he once mention a "league of deities" or something?

 

Feb 13 edit: Looks like Kengle "went Judas" on CWC, and uploaded the rest of the letter anyway.

All I could find on that now were these quotes:

Also he thought pony characters and himself were somehow doing "work very hard and diligently" to stop the coof.

 

Jail Letter - 27 November 2021 - CWCki - Kengle posted another remainder of a letter he "wasn't supposed to".

Here's a TL;DR if you can't stand the pompous, word-salady, inhuman way Chris writes:

* Chris was pretending to be "Angelica Rosechu" writing the letter.

* Chris thinks that had he not "healed" Barb, "she would have ended up separated from our Lord by such a circumstance as a vehicular accident".

* Barb got in an accident in August, but is doing OK now.

* Barb got in another accident in November.

* Extended family are taking care of Barb.

* Chris "Angelica Rosechu" asks for money.

 

I don't see why Chris didn't want this letter shared online apart from naming his relatives.

Its pretty exhausting reading Chris's letters, Chris has never been one to be efficient in his writing or speech but it feels like every point he wants to make is buried in mind numbing gibberish and redundancy. The latest letter to be released is easily the worst offender.

 

Also how he can't not tl;dr adds to how insufferable he can sound when talking at - never to or with - others.

 

A quick visit to 'Onion Farms' just informed me that the 'legend' is back. He has another divine proclamation for us. Gather round, everybody.
It's really long, so I'll just post the link here:

https://www.onionfarms.com/threads/may-11-2022-cwc-letter-full-contents.2348/

Most of the letter seems to be about Barb. He also comes up with a few more 'commandments'. And here I was naively thinking that his stay in a mental institution would have knocked some sense into him.

 

The Simpsons - The Legend Of The Dog Faced Woman - YouTube

(but really Chris' TV-fried brain really is like one of those big old floppy disks set to read only)

Anyway here's the summary on the CWCki: