Ideas that Desperate Companies can Dredge for Attempted Cash Grabs

Wait, what if someone made live-action Dumbland?

 

I've been expecting a Mega Man movie since 1989. I had a dream when I was a kid that I saw a movie poster where he basically looked like a blue Robocop and he was played by one of the popular action stars of the late 80s and early 90s, but I forget which one.

The setting of the movie looked like the future in Terminator - a desert wasteland full of sand, burning buildings, and gritty killer robots. It was also full of waterpark slides for some reason, which were the movie's version of Mega Man's teleport (think about all the random shiz in the Super Mario Bros. movie that represents totally different stuff in the games).

 

Hmm... they probably are due for a live action Samurai Jack or Dexter movie again, since they tend to use nostalgia like the lazy idiots they are.

 

Live action He-Man movie when?

 

The year I was born. Heck, we're almost to the nine year anniversary of Nostalgia Critic "reviewing" it.

 

I was like 9 or 10 when it came out!

 

Surprised they haven't made a new He-Man movie to cash in on Gen-X nostalgia like they do with every other 80's cartoon.

 

Especially since the last one didn't have the best He-Man character.

Spoiler

Orko

 

That Akira remake that Hollywood's been sitting on for decades. I'm sure that won't turn out as bad as that piece of shit anime remake in theaters right now.

 

20 Year Anniversary gritty CGI reboot of Street Sharks, directed by Michael Bay.

Spoiler: JAWSOME!

 

A remake of the remake of Ben-Hur... because Hollywood is too lazy to come up with new things. That takes time and requires a napkin and is something apparently too risky despite them all being millionaires and tax-dodging like fuck already.

 

Seriously, fuck the 'originality' thing. People beg for remakes and reboots of things they like, and they beg for new IPs and ideas from Hollywood. I just want good movies, and I don't really care how original they are. They could remake Citizen Kane or Godfather, the sacred cows of the movie world, and they would be fantastic if they were made well.

Can we do that? Can we just ask for good movies? Not original or derivative movies, just good movies that people will enjoy and pay money to see?

 

That requires risk taking, and these people don't want to do that because then they couldn't make even more money than they would in an easy way if they just made a sequel that's the same, but different.

 

A Boba Fett movie starring Rob Schneider. It would be such a great way to cash in on the fact that they will publish ANY Star Wars script idea AND piss off Boba Fett apologists across the country who are under the delusion that he's a badass.

 

Rob Schneider was a mermaid, then he was a potato, and now Rob Schneider is Boba Fett. And he's about to find out that being Boba Fett is a lot harder than it looks.

Rob Schneider is Boba Fett. Rated PG-13.

 

Boba Fett: "I've tracked down Finn and Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Rey on Coruscant. They're right in between that mouse trap factory....and that whoopie cushion factory....with the cream pie stand outside of it.....and the slide whistle choir warming up..."

 

Don't forget that because Star Wars and Marvel are both owned by Disney now, they can all mutually cross over even when it makes no sense.

 

So now, Kingdom Hearts Once Upon A Time can go to Tattooine or Wakanda. #TheMoreYouKnow

 

They can also add Leia and/or Padme to the Disney Princess toyline.

 

I was going to say they would make a documentary on the guy that beat the world record of Donkey Kong, but then I remembered that they already did that.