Ideas that Desperate Companies can Dredge for Attempted Cash Grabs

Spoiler: Picture this.

A theater, any one of the multiplexes around the world showing this film. The sounds of crunching popcorn and buzzing phones die as the lights go down, shrouding the audience in darkness. The gamut of previews runs its course, light window-dressing for the main event.

Then silence.

The theater's sound system kicks in. Three words, the chorus to the tie-in song that has dominated the airwaves for the past six months, fill the air, ingrained into the audience's collective psyche for the ages:

Spoiler

IT'S. THE. NUTSHACK.

 

Well, they could remake The Matrix.

Oh, wait...

 

Spyro The Dragon or Crash Bandicoot? I don't count the Skylanders movie.

 

Well, they did do Sly Cooper and Ratchet and Clank... so those two would probably merit a film or five depending on how stupid the firms feel that day.

 

A few notes on that.

1. I just looked up Sly Cooper movie and found that it had 95% on Rotten Tomatoes, so I thought "Hey, maybe this movie I've never heard of is actually a good video game adaptation," Then, I discovered that the movie hasn't been released yet.

2. Apparently they made a Heavenly Sword movie. Heavenly Sword isn't a bad game, and it did have a decent (not great) story. But, I remember Heavenly Sword for the infamous "You may need to play twing twang" line. If that line isn't in the movie, then I will be disappointed.

3. I haven't seen Ratchet and Clank, but I've heard that it wasn't very good.

 

There will totally be a Trump movie. I remember the George W. Bush movie that came out maybe right after he left office? I don't remember the date too well. There will totally be a Trump movie once he's out of office and maybe even a few more.

 

• A David Bowie biopic (even though The Man Who Fell To Earth is more or less this anyway) Sure
• Overwatch (chances are this would be an animated OVA-type dealio done by Blizzard) No
• The Meme Movie No
• Youtube: The Movie I'd laugh
• Trump or the entire election period as a whole YES PLEASE, but make sure Trump is portrayed by Adam Sandler doing a Patrick Star impression.

• Another Doctor Who movie Get a better villain

 

Shrek 5

 

Actually
http://screenrant.com/shrek-5-release-date-2019-shadows/
Plus a Donkey Spinoff would be way more desperate.

 

Pretty standard for presidents to get at least one movie. Wouldn't be surprised if another George W. Bush movie happens in the near future, especially now that people can look at his presidency at least somewhat objectively. There will be a Trump movie as soon as he leaves office if not the next election season. After that there be a Trump movie every decade or so for a good long while.

 

Shirt Tales.

Inexpensive property, and because it's from the 80's a large slice of the population will automatically care about it, even if it doesn't deserve to be remembered. It would be incredibly simple to reprocess the characters into talking CGI animals.

 

If Nintendo wasn't so strict with their IPs, I can easily expect a reboot of the Super Mario Bros. movie. I was even autistic enough to come up with the cast.

Spoiler: Starring

Seth Rogan as Mario
Will Farrow as Luigi
Amy Schumer as Princess Peach
John Goodman as Toad
Johnny Depp as Yoshi
Rosie O'Donnell as Rosalina
Christopher Lloyd as Bowser
Seth Green, Patrick Warburton, Rihanna, Cheech Martin, Tommy Chong, Adam Baldwin, and Will Smith as the Koopalings
Danny DeVito as Wario
Rob Schneider as a Goomba
Jerry Seinfeld as the Koopa Troopas
and introducing, some horrible new child actor as Bowser Jr.

 

And it turns out to be Hotel Mario 2.

 

Hotel Mario 2: Hotel This!

 

All toasters...

...toast toast.
(INCEPTION HORN)

 

If you pinch Wendy's pennies, they pinch back!

 

Wendy's Pennies 2: The Re-Pinchening

 

Mobile Strike the movie

Agar.io the movie
Every other io movie

Just Cause the movie (Oh, wait)

Another Sonic

 

Wasn't the OVA enough?

 

Some people haven't gotten the memo!