FB 9/27 - Advice on getting a sweetheart

>chris
>advice

 

Hooray! Now I know how to get a control-obsessed attention junkie of my very own!

 

How 2 get china 101

 

"Don't be stingy with your love, and for all you gentlemen out there, remember to always aim your love away from the eyes."

 

He still regards friendship as nothing but stepping stone to a romantic relationship.
Que a "friendzone" rant when this one crumbles and his other friends have no interest in "upgrading"...

 

Remember, Chris wants the friendzone removed by law.

 

I hope Chris thinks of himself as a dating guru and he gives inane advice about relationships.

I don't think he could get better than suggesting boys get MLP figures and pretend it's the girl they like and girls get Transformers. Or reading a book by a 9 year old boy on how to talk to girls.

 

Translation: wrangle a bunch of women and (poorly) groom them to be your GF

 

Wow I just got "coinkie dink"....I thought he was typing gibberish. I haven't heard anyone say that in so long and I don't think I've ever seen it typed on the internet. Gotta be something he lifted from a cartoon he saw recently.

 

In fairness to poetry, Chris is far from a poet.

 

I hope the sky is blue

 

To be optimistic, maybe Chris was trying to say that romance happens on its' own, naturally evolves from friendship, and it's best not to push an "upgrade." Through a very muddled and confusing grasp of the English language.

But whatever he intended, it sure comes out like you said.

I think over on KF they said it was parroting MLP.

 

Times like this remind me Chris is the OG love shy. That trend runs through out them.

It's strange with Chris as of late pushing how he's new social and has friends he'd be thrilled to increase friends. It's more to the mound, of evidence that's an act and he's still the same old Chris.

Has he added any female or male friends of JQ?

 

The only difference I really see from Chris nowadays is his fashion sense somehow being even worse than his old one, so I doubt he cares about adding any male friends into his life.

 

Next he will dispense financial advice.

 

"Been blessed with lots of money, want to make it so?
Then spend it all on vidya and lego...."

 

I do wonder as he doesn't change, unless it's an act. Much like I assume even with his go love etc he probably still isn't ok with "da homoz"
Would he friend one or two dang dirty males to look better?

I can't help but think of Homer Simpson in regards to fiscal advice
"Home Equity Loans are great! You get the money, and the house gets the bill!!"

 

Every one of Chris's actions is done either for his immediate gratification, or to secure china. From his "family values" to his "lesbian" gimmick, all of it add to his "attractive qualities" in his mind. Remember in that "A Night In Christine" video, how he emphasized that he'd be able to give it to a woman "any way she desires" (as in his penis in her vagina)? Nothing short of self serving ego wankery. He wants a girl to make into his sweetheart from the ground-up after all.

 

After I beat @Duhtay Wodes for World Heavyweight Championship, Arn Anderson and I did a coinkie-dink strafe to every ring rat lucky enough to ride Space Mountain. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!