Michael Hirtes / Mhirtes / DILDO_ON_FOREHEAD / @TheRealCWC93 (FUCK OFF CHRIS!)

Hirtes knew about Chris since 2010/2009 but didn't really start about him until early 2013.
Especially during the blacktape thing and went on about how Chris deserves big punishment under the alias (Aristrocrat) and picking fights in the thread, even with a retired mod Brooklyn. Null came in at the end and banned him after that.

 

He gets some amount of attention screaming at Chris. Chris is e-famous enough that he has an audience but not so famous that he impotent wailing will be lost like a drop of water in the ocean (like hes "protests" against Trump). It kinda works we do have a 28 page thread dedicated to him.

 

That's really tragic.
I feel like there's a bigger niche and there would be more attention in literally shitting your pants on youtube, that's another story on it's own though.

 

What Rev is talking about is a pretty solid read
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/black-tape-chris-call-where-he-mourns-bob.1201/

 

Most midlife crisis involve people wanting to be in their mid-to-late-twenties, at the zenith of their lives before responsibilities bog them down in later years. Hirtes, however, apparently want's to go back to being fucking twelve-years old instead. Isn't he older than Kengle?

I cannot speak for anyone else but I do actually want to see Chris raped and murdered in prison preferably in that order but I am amenable to murder and then rape if that's what's required.

 

Christ, the levels of autism oozing out of Hirtes' posts are mindboggling.

There were a handful of other spergy fucks in the thread, but he beats them all in the autistic department by a fucking landslide...

 

Hirtes is the king of eloquence.

 

Ok but MLP glue is kinda funny.

 

It is, but Hirtes doesn't even manage to make the easy joke about glue being made out of horses, he just calls Chris an idiot instead.

 

Top notch Hirtistory (If the internet were in the 90s or early 2000s i'd put this copypasted into a black tape)

 

Oh and speaking of black tapes..

 

Hirtes is very annoying to read

 

He is, hell the black tape thread was just cringe on hirtes part, to quote Patton Oswalt, "you're gonna miss everything cool in life and die angry"

 

I hope he has an accident that impairs his hands

 

I like that kind of normal conversation between someone and Chris, then Hirtes just interjecting with a random "FUCK YOU CHRIS!!"

Who loves Chris this much? I mean, I send him emails laced with Anthrax on a daily basis (as I'm sure most of you do), but even I don't obsess over Chris to this extent. Hirtes is acting like a 10 year old with his first crush, unsure of what he is feeling and lashing out angrily at the object of his affection.

 

Oh shit, he knows!

 

Something about Hirtes saying "Chris just wants to be a big shot in a dying fandom" is just too funny to not bring up.