1. Hi there, Guest. How are you doing? Have you been well? I hope so.

    OK, with that out of the way, just a little bit of a reminder that regardless of what's going on over at other sites, please leave it there. Inter-forum drama is bad and if you bring that shit over here, you should feel bad.

    And while I'm at it, USE THE "REPORT" FUNCTION. Like the New York City Subway - if you see something, say something. Vigilantism only works in comic books and trust me, no one wants to see you in spandex. (Except Cyan, who looks amazing in spandex.)

    P.S. - ToroidalBoat is a party pooper, but also needs a cat.
    P.P.S. - Holdek is still a weenie.

Cole Smithey.

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by JSMK, Jun 10, 2017.

  1. Janker

    Janker Salt Collector

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    I say we don't mine Cole.
     
  2. Meganman

    Meganman Journeyman Observer of Lulz

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    Pmurt won. Get over it.
     
    Trilby likes this.
  3. Major Tech Priest

    Major Tech Priest Adeptus Biologis studying Sonichu

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    I'm sorry, but what do you mean by "Mine Cole"?
     
  4. Princess Celestia

    Princess Celestia Your local techni-color horse.

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    I wouldn't be terribly surprised if Cole keeps a lose eye on the greater Chris saga. If you google Cole Smithy his entry on the Cwcki is like the third entry, which is something he has to be aware of given his ego. He can't be pleased knowing that his mentally challenged half brother is more famous than him.
     
  5. Hellblazer

    Hellblazer Autism on the rocks Staff Member Administrator

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    Cole will be fine, and whatever help he gives is whatever help he gives. There's no real reason to delve too deep into his life, because other than the wannabe big film critic thing he's not that interesting.
     
  6. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    Yeah, there are only three reasons Cole would be of interest

    He is Barb's son and Chris's brother
    He is a pretentious hipster film critic who begs as much as Chris for people to donate to his Patreon
    He was in a band, the Rocking Dogs

    I really doubt he would willingly discuss his problems with his family with strangers.

    His movie critic career is legitimately an area we could discuss, but other than being pretentious and being related to Chris and Barb I don't think he is that remarkable a critic. I read some of his reviews and I couldn't read more than a few sentences because he seems to be more interested in showing how smart he is rather than discussing whether the movie is worth seeing or not.
     
  7. Princess Celestia

    Princess Celestia Your local techni-color horse.

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    Oh I remember one time he got mocked by Roger Ebert, which is kinda like having Mozart shit on your music. He specifically went after the whole "World's smartest film critic" thing.

    I honestly don't know who would seriously read Cole Smithy reviews, except someone as pretentious and insecure as him.
     
  8. JimmyCox

    JimmyCox Well-Known Member

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    This is the funniest thing about Cole Smithey. He's getting beaten at Patreon by an Autistic Man Child with a plagiarized comic book.
     

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  9. PCA

    PCA Well-Known Member

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    I've actually posted on one of his review videos that very same point. He didn't respond of course
     
    Harrison Gentleman likes this.
  10. Rex Thunder

    Rex Thunder Member

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    Cole looks very "punchable" in his Patreon profile pic, doesn't he?
     
  11. Foulmouth

    Foulmouth Suck my cock you faggots

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    I just hope there's no cole burners here ...
     
  12. Harrison Gentleman

    Harrison Gentleman Those Two Dudes

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    Meh, Cole Smithey is pretentious and I would not have sex with him.
     
    Skeletor, Baron_Aurr and Foulmouth like this.
  13. Sparklemilhouse

    Sparklemilhouse America Online for Dummies

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    Bumping the cole thread because I wanted to know what he was up to. He’s really quieted down on Twitter and YouTube In the last year. Only people who he follows can reply to him on Twitter and the last time he posted was the last week of June.
     
  14. Fauna Fox

    Fauna Fox Obscure 90s Nicktoon waifu

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    Wait, does the pretentious movie critic half-brother know something about Chris and Barb that we don't?
     
  15. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE

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    A funfact: Cole pissed off my ex with his Toy Story 3 review on IMDB. Powerleveling but I thought that was funny.

    I feel kind of bad for him. He's kind of a mild lolcow in his own right with the charging money to go to a bar with him nonsense and considering himself the smartest film critic in the world. But he's not on the same level as his family by any means and I wouldn't wish his situation on anyone.

    If Cole's even been paying attention, then this year must have been a roller coaster for him. The message from "Sonichu" was already bizarre enough, but recent events are horrific and I can't say how I'd feel in his situation.
     
  16. Very Honest Content

    Very Honest Content Formerly a niggo (???) Staff Member

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    Reminder, Cole hates his mom Barb for many reasons but one specific source he has cited is the use of "bizarre scenarios" for punishment over perceived misbehavior. If Cole is dredged up to clear his half brother's involvement in this latest gross saga by spilling the beans on Barb having a history of improper behavior to her older son that was then directed at CWC, the saga may go past epic to legendary.

    Are you sure it wasn't his critic score review spoiling the perfect fresh rating for that movie on Rotten Tomatoes instead of IMDB? Cole owes these people in his family nothing and has had to seek professional help for the trauma inflicted on him by his mother so I have no problem with him going silent and letting CWC tread water or drown on his own here but maybe, just maybe, he sees one last chance to stick it to his soon to be dead tormentor of a parent and that motivates him to come to Chris' aid as a defense witness.
     
  17. Cyan

    Cyan #33FFEE

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    ...You know, I think that was it actually. I forgot that Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB weren't the same thing.
     
  18. Very Honest Content

    Very Honest Content Formerly a niggo (???) Staff Member

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    If Cole isn't known for being that half-brother, that's what he's infamous for. Third place is he had an exchange with Roger Ebert a long time ago and was condescending to the guy with a Pulitzer for criticism because Weston genes is what I have to assume.
     
  19. Henry Bemis

    Henry Bemis On an eight-hour tour of a graveyard

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    After all these years, those emails between Cole and Chris are still the best glimpse into the state of the man.

    On one hand, Cole writes an eviscerating letter describing his mother’s incompetence (or worse). Maybe limned within is also the long-extinguished want to find out why Barb is the way she is before he decided, for his sanity, that “why” is not his problem. (And, I won’t lie, I think “It's very Christian of Barbara to not regret having given birth to me but I'm an atheist” is brilliantly deadpan.)

    Chris’s response, more or less? “LOL don’t care.”

    On the other hand, it’s a little odd to dump your life story into what is, for all intents and purposes, a stranger’s lap.
     
  20. Skeletor

    Skeletor Skellington Justice Warrior

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    I’ve said it before but when you think about how fucked up his upbringing was, Cole came out mostly okay. He’s a doofy theird-rate movie critic but not like a full-blown lolcow.