1. Hi there, Guest. How are you doing? Have you been well? I hope so.

    OK, with that out of the way, just a little bit of a reminder that regardless of what's going on over at other sites, please leave it there. Inter-forum drama is bad and if you bring that shit over here, you should feel bad.

    And while I'm at it, USE THE "REPORT" FUNCTION. Like the New York City Subway - if you see something, say something. Vigilantism only works in comic books and trust me, no one wants to see you in spandex. (Except Cyan, who looks amazing in spandex.)

    P.S. - ToroidalBoat is a party pooper, but also needs a cat.
    P.P.S. - Holdek is still a weenie.

Cole Smithey.

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by JSMK, Jun 10, 2017.

  1. JSMK

    JSMK BLOOPITY BLOOPITY BLOOPITY BLOOPITY

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    Chris's half-brother. Film Critic. Pretentious hipster douchebag who auctions off dinners with him to drink beer and talk about movies. Hater of Toy Story 3. Is essentially the Cinema Snob minus the charm, wit, or the benefit of being a character played for laughs. Let's talk about him.
     
  2. Janker

    Janker Salt Collector

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  3. Count Olaf

    Count Olaf The Swedish term for beef that is roasted

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    Not really much more to say about Cole than what you've already said, other than maybe that Chris has more Patreons than him now, which is both sad and funny.

    /thread
     
  4. TheVoid

    TheVoid Well-Known Member

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    Apparently when he was younger he was still extremely egotistical, but he was also a little bit less of a douche. I think that seeing his brother get so much more internet fame than him drives him absolutely mad. Heck, the few views he has on Youtube and the small amount of fame he has come from the fame his brother has. Well, that and the small amount of press he got for a negative review of Toy Story 3.

    He seems to be doing alright for himself though. As far as I know he's been more successful than his brother at everything except for internet fame. I'd really like to know why he hated Bob as much as he did. What exactly did Bob do that was so bad?
     
  5. Duhtay Wodes

    Duhtay Wodes The Uh-Mehwican Dwe-yum

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    According to the wiki, Cole hated Bob because he apparently tried to drive a wedge between him and Barb.
     
  6. Princess Celestia

    Princess Celestia Your local techni-color horse.

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    From Cole's own accounts Barb was never a nice person, and someone else pointed out another thread that she got substantially worse when she retired. Honestly I think Cole uses Bob as a scapegoat to explain how his mother is such a shitty person.
     
  7. TheVoid

    TheVoid Well-Known Member

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    That would actually make quite a bit of sense.
     
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  8. Uncle Frank

    Uncle Frank Occasionally slips through the cracks

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    Remember that time Barb nearly killed him?
     
  9. Princess Celestia

    Princess Celestia Your local techni-color horse.

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    The scary thing is barb probably still has that gun (or its charred remains) in the horde somewhere.
     
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  10. QuiltGuilt

    QuiltGuilt My 2-cent_garbage.com

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    So the egotistical genes come from Barb. I would expect nothing less
     
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  11. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    Cole called Bob a "Republican cur" and said Barb enjoyed isolating herself with scurrilous males (or something like that). It could be that Bob and Cole simply had a personality conflict, or that because Cole had bad experiences with other stepdads, he didn't like Bob because of it.

    Cole also isn't that fond of Barb, and of all people should know what kind of person she is, which is why he wants nothing to do with Barb and Chris.

    Cole and Chris seemed to get along fairly well until weens sent Cole Chris's nudes. Cole has refused to talk to Chris since then, which is probably for the better because all Chris would do now is ask him for money.
     
  12. Duhtay Wodes

    Duhtay Wodes The Uh-Mehwican Dwe-yum

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    I actually thought Cole cut ties with Chris *because* of Chris' excessive begging, that it was a case of "You don't want a family relationship with me, the only time you bother contacting me is when you need money, so fuck off!"
     
  13. B.R.A.Z.I.L.

    B.R.A.Z.I.L. State of Mind

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    Cole is Ebenezer Scrooge if he had shameful relatives, reviewed movies and broke.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2017
    Harrison Gentleman likes this.
  14. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 the augh yeah man

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    I probably remembered some stuff incorrectly, but the CWCki says the last known communication between them is from sometime in 2007.
    I thought I remembered something about weens sending Cole Chris's nudes but I can't find it right now.
     
  15. TiggleYaPoosay

    TiggleYaPoosay I Can Roll My Tongue

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    Cole seems like a complete jackass but I don't know if you can fault him for distancing himself from the madness.
     
  16. Rex Thunder

    Rex Thunder Member

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    It's funny how little we actually know about Cole, considering that he's Chris's half-brother
     
  17. Uncle Frank

    Uncle Frank Occasionally slips through the cracks

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    There's not much we need to know considering how little he matters in the grand scheme of things.
     
  18. Erika

    Erika RL incel hunter

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    ftfy.

    Cole is a walking stereotype of someone who had a bad break to start life, got a lucky break and instead of being thankful chose to be a snobby asshole. He's not important in his field, to the Chris saga etc, he's just kinda a jerk on easy street, dime a dozen.
     
  19. Major Tech Priest

    Major Tech Priest Adeptus Biologis studying Sonichu

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    With Borb slowly being consumed by the hoard, and Chris STILL not understanding basic money skills, i think its actually kind of important we start finding out more about Cole. I'm obviously not saying to doxx him or invade his privacy, but definitely i think its important we start learning more about who he is currently and what he's up to through public knowledge or his youtube/social media. The reason i say all this? Because once Borb has finally completed her synthesis with the hoard Chris will have no choice but to seek out family for help, and Cole will be first on his list. So i think we should be asking ourselves: how will Cole handle the situation? if he does choose to help, how will he do so and for how long? if not, will he send chris away packing or will he get Chris put in a nutter house? i think this Saga is going to be coming a lot sooner than people think, especially with how bad Borb is looking nowadays
     
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  20. QuiltGuilt

    QuiltGuilt My 2-cent_garbage.com

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    I could actually see Chris's siblings helping him setting up his affairs, loan payments and such (I hope so) but not bail him out, but I doubt they'd be much more involved than that but you never know.
    It also wouldn't surprise me if Cole was actually aware of his mother's declining health.