Meta Chris' True and Honest D&D Characture Sheet (roll for autism)

Discussion in 'CWC Discussion' started by One Too Many, Jan 31, 2020.

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  1. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    450px-D&D_character_sheet1.jpg

    450px-D&D_character_sheet2.jpg

    800px-D&D_character_sheet3.jpg

    Now its been a long time since I've played DnD but here's what I've noticed:
    • Your speed represents how far you can travel in one round and each round is equivalent to six seconds. Chris has 3,736 ft for his speed which is 424.5 miles per hour or roughly half the speed of sound.
    • Sonichu Medallion as equipment lol
    • He is neutral good which is the lamest character alignment
    • Nothing is written under the flaws section
    Here are a few bullets from the CWCki if your too lazy to check that out:
    • Starting at level 24, a level higher than god characters.
    • Overpowered transformation ability, giving himself a +5 or +10 bonus, enough to make it so that he would never lose at dice rolls unless rolling a one.
    • Insufficient equipment. Chris has two swords and a crossbow, despite his character (Cleric/Ranger hybrid) not being optimized to wield either.
     
  2. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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    inb4 Chris makes a YouTube video where he plays D&D with himself and steamrolls any obstacle in his way with his broken character.
     
  3. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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    At least D&D isn't that pony card game thing.
     
  4. ICanFeelTheCosmos0704

    ICanFeelTheCosmos0704 ancient memes

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    this could be good

    of course Chris thinks he's a god

    Sonic speed - gotta go fast!
     
  5. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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  6. Fauna Fox

    Fauna Fox Obscure 90s nicktoon waifu again

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    So Chris has created another one of his specialties, a mary sue.
    Wait, what. Are bronies still a thing?
    For real?
     
  7. ToroidalBoat

    ToroidalBoat "Modernly Tech Savvy"

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    Chris was the first brony, and he could very well be the last brony.
     
  8. Vexing Devil

    Vexing Devil pokes you for 4 whether you like it or not.

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    i saw these images in a tabletop thread i was in and thought "oh someones making a lame joke" but finding out its chris's actual sheet makes a lot more sense
     
  9. Nobody

    Nobody Shitposter Staff Member

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    By rolling a transsexual demigod Sonic-recolor Mary Sue abomination, you can ruin a night of D&D in Guinness record speeds.

    We get it Chris, you have no idea how to play the game but you still have to win.
     
  10. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    I would like to see the D.M. that lets that abomination into a game.
     
  11. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    I would take it a step further: I would like to see Chris DM. Fuck it, we're all on a discussion site for the inner workings of his fucked-up mind. What better way to experience it in full force?
     
  12. Vexing Devil

    Vexing Devil pokes you for 4 whether you like it or not.

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    i have a feeling like the game would end up like the legacy wars post on /tg/
     
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  13. Minimal Effort

    Minimal Effort Bring out your dead.

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    A word salad cluster fuck.
     
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  14. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    This may be somewhat weenish on my part, but what if he DM'ed and had someone add a Henderson or Elsimore to his campaign?
     
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  15. Vexing Devil

    Vexing Devil pokes you for 4 whether you like it or not.

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    at least with henderson the player made his character in a way that the dm couldnt really call him on his bullshit easily and was a competent player in the system he was playing, the dm only really got big mad when henderson killed hastur via rules as written, i think chris would try to get rules lawyery (assuming he's read the DM guide and the PHB) with someone doing a optimized build or try to use that guy DM bullshit and rule zero in efforts to "hard counter" said player. honestly imo is even though 5e is quite simple to learn from a players and DM's perspective i feel like he wouldnt do the reading to actually DM coherently.
     
  16. One Too Many

    One Too Many Sexual Orientation: Heavy Metal

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  17. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    If he's not the DM but he's playing in the campaign, how is his Ranger an NPC?
     
  18. Fauna Fox

    Fauna Fox Obscure 90s nicktoon waifu again

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    Through the godlike powers of his characters always being mary sues.
     
  19. NAITCHA BAH

    NAITCHA BAH 16-time World Champion

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    But a character is only an NPC if that character is run by the DM. So, did he make this Ranger and tell the DM to control him?
     
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  20. Vexing Devil

    Vexing Devil pokes you for 4 whether you like it or not.

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    i think the DM took a look at his sheet realized that it would be a headache to tell chris "this is shit roll an actual PC" and compromised with him to make said chara a npc where the DM at least had some control over the fuckery and wasnt stealing the show from other pc's with his homebrew bullshit.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2020
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