5/30/16: Chris Shows Off His Sex Moves, Asks You to Vote on His Performance

So I watched it

I feel violated.
;_;
Edit: Also, I can't help but notice he has that vibrator still in its packaging and only had it for the sole purpose of this video.

 

I hope he sang Yakety Sax when he fucked the hooker.

Although watching this video leads me to believe the hooker story was a lie. Either which way, it's nice to know we have the old Chris back.

 

But if you take it out of the packaging, it loses all of its collectible value.

 

Oh also, at the end he mentions "it" is 5-7 inches when erect. You can tell he's either bullshitting or reaaaaaaaaally bad at measurements because when you're measuring your junk, two inches is a noticeable difference. Also the typical "national average penis size" reports usually say anywhere from 5 to 7 inches, so he could just be parroting that.

 

To be fair, he did say Patti’s doghouse was like 10 tons, so taking into consideration his propensity for exaggeration and adding in some math, realistically, his penis size is ...