Meta What If?

What if Chris burned down 14 bc again, but this time he decided to take responsibility and rebuild the house himself?

 

Chris didn't burn the house down in the first place, so what is there to take responsibility for?

 

Beside that fact, if he did rebuild 14BC, Patti's doghouse would look awfully luxurious in comparison

 

Chris would try to Curse ya mehameha the poor cashier girl when he runs out of money. She calls security and they escort him off the property. Chris would complain about another Jerkop.

 

How likely would it be that he'd sell his toys to feed his addiction?

 

Not very likely. Chris won't sell his shit.

 

What if Megan returned?

 

She'd threaten to sue Chris over "copyright" for spunky skunk and laugh and laugh and laugh at his reaction

 

Hopefully she would have pepper spray and know how to use it.

 

What if chris travels to china

 

He would wander around for days until he waddled into North Korea.
World War III ensues.

 

He would still not get any.

 

Hopefully she'd have enough sense to escape before Chris latches on to her.

He would flip out over not being allowed to post e-begging, thirst-stalking, and pony videos to the Internet.

 

Notably, there's huge competition between men in China because of that nation's oppressive communist government having a long-standing policy of one child per family coupled with the cultural tradition strongly tying the care of elders to be the responsibility of the son, many people would abort or abandon their daughters so that they could try again and hope to get a son to take care of them when they're old. The result is lots of Chinese guys with not enough Chinese women between them.

And even the most pathetic Chinese guy is going to seem like a better prospect compared to Chris.

 

What if TLC finds Chris and makes a series about him to for their freak-show block (Hoarders, My Strange Addiction, etc)?

 

I belive the producers would respond with an "AWW HELL NO!"

 

What if Chris died, but was denied into both Heaven and Hell, where would he go?

 

Back to 14BC Court. To haunt the poor damned fools to move in next.

 

Until they trap him in a pickle jar.

 

He'd go to Purgatory for his sloth and wrath - and never get out