FB 4/4 - Chris puts effort into explaining why he won't get a job

I mean, Chris isn't wrong.
He is basically unemployable for reasons. Trolling doesn't help, but they're are other reasons like...
1.) Most HR people will tell you 6 months without a job is pretty bad, and Chris has been unemployed for 16 years now. Not to mention his criminal record, which alone isn't bad, but now combined with being fired from his only real job, padding his resume with crap, and demanding a high pay which is a bit of a no-no in the United States.

2.) Chris no work ethic and will only do what he'll want to do. Even making Sonichu got stale for him, so he stopped. Now imagine a boss telling him to do something He doesn't want to do. Insubordination is bad.

3.) His degree is useless, no employer would even consider a computer based degree from 2004 without any recent training or experience, the software technology has changed way too much. So much for those high paying office jobs, and on that note...

4.) Chris wants an office job, but does he even know how to use the basics of Microsoft office? All we've seen is one PowerPoint and one Excel document that didn't have numbers. I'm sure he can use Word, but "Word proficiency" on a resume looks desperate, because who doesn't know how to use Word? Could Chris even run a CADD program today? I don't think he can.

5.) Chris can't work with others, could you imagine a place for Chris, where the boss is a young pretty white woman and all the staffers are young pretty white women, because he will not work for, or with, a man. I guess he can clean toilets at Hooters until he hits on a waitress, then he's gone.


He got a job once, he sucked and got fired. Even if he managed to get a job, he would suck at it and get fired.

 

I have to, because if I keep saying it then some day it might become reality.

 

He has already.
Multiple times.

 

This is pretty much my same answer anytime the subject of "CHIRS QUIT BEING SUCK N GIT JOB!!!" comes up. Like I said, as somebody who is in a position to hire entry-level employees I can tell you right now he isn't hireable.

 

The cafe in the store I manage is looking to hire a dish washer, I think that is probably a job that Chris could do.

 

You mean chris doing a job that would require good hygiene and is the first step toward taking a bath?

 

It doesn't require that good of hygiene. I used to wash dishes at an very late-night bar/pizzaria, and I was pretty gross by the end of the day. It would require actual work though depending on how high-volume the cafe is. I don't know if ol' CWC is down for actual work.

 

If anything his hygiene would improve, as there is a hygiene check list to go through before every shift start(hands washed, hair in net, etc)

 

Which he will ignore, unless someone is there to watch him was his hands and stick a hair net on his head.

 

Believe or not, there is!

 

I have worked in food service before, just being sarcastic about chris. But the image of someone trying to wrestle a hair net on chris has made me giggle.

 

Kitchen Staff Member: "Chris, if you don't put this on then I'm calling the manager."
Chris: "DON'T CALL ANYBODY!!"

And then the poor guy gets sprayed with mace.