The Many Ladies Of CWC

Spoiler: I Regret Nothing

Solid sighed as he pushed open the door to the boy's changeroom. Liquid was sitting there, a smug smirk on his face.
"Alright, Liquid. I admit defeat. You can have Kacey." He muttered begrudgingly.
Liquid stood up, grinning.
"You dummy. I don't want Kacey..."
Suddenly, Liquid was behind Solid, whispering in his ear.
"...I want you."

OK I regret writing that a little.

 

I voted with the tag "barb best waifu"

 

Not gonna lie, that made my day, and ruined my life. Now, for the rest of my life, I'll be replacing the characters of every slash one-shot I read with Solid and Liquid. But, it made me laugh for a brief moment, so I guess it was worth it.

 

Real talk:
This now makes me wonder, what would have happened if Liquid pulled an audible and actually pulled a "Single White Female", and stated he didn't want Kasey, but rather, he wanted Solid Chris?

Given how Solid Chris was in full "NO HO-MOES!" mode at that time, would it have gotten more content from his freakouts alone?

 

Oh God, the rage... I could see that going the direction of Chris totally freaking the hell out and refusing to continue any more, but that assumes a fairly normal mindset and as I've learned that's a mistake. Chris builds such an obsession with his trolls (even today when he really doesn't have a "Clyde Cash" type figure) into his world view and self concept, I don't know what he'd do with that situation, but I don't think he'd be able to let it go.

But the sheer potential there to mess with him.... ugh it's horrible to think about but the lulz that could have been.

 

That is one avenue I've often wondered about in terms of the trolls messing with Chris:
What if instead of a boyfriend free girl, it was a boyfriend free boy? And just a genuine acting, nice guy who just happened to find Chris attractive

I've often wondered why the trolls never thought of going down that route, if only to basically hold up a mirror to Chris on his (at the time) homophobia.

 

All other sweethearts have come and gone, but Barb? Barb is eternal.

HOARD FOR THE HOARD GOD

Make no mistake, if that scenario happened now Chris would still freak the fuck out.

 

I kinda feel like he wouldn't freak out as much as in his old school "I AM NOT A HOMO! I AM STA-RATE!" days.

I feel like now he'd be more content to just politely decline rather then freak out and go on a rant.

 

Or go on a thirty minuet ramble about him being up for straight china while being an autistic tomgirl artist suffering from dimentia and lack of funds.

Which begs the question, could chris get a sugar daddy?

 

if it meant money for legos, he'd find a way.

 

That's a good question. What if some dude started buying Chris Legos from his wish lists, gradually doing more and more for him, and then made an indecent proposal? Would Stephanie Bustcakes "do anal" if daddy was shelling out for an unlimited Toys-R-Us credit card??

 

I wonder if Chris' pride would override his greed for money/vidya/legos. Would there be a breaking point for him? If some dude with big bucks genuinely came up to him and said "If you be my little boy toy, daddy will get you whatever you want..." (or, at the very least, some spending money to have), would Chris balk, or would he, at this point, consider it?

 

I don't think he really has any pride based on past actions. I bet he'd take it up the ass and for less money than his totem sold for. You'd have to find a real weirdo to screw Chris though and to pay for it no less. Someone way weirder than Chris.

 

Trust me, there's a lot of legit weirdo sugar daddies out there, this is the Internet in 2017...

 

That's what Kiwi Farms is for!

 

Exactly.